


Something Wonderful

by petals_and_bones



Category: Control (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, DILFs in labcoats, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Horror, Mystery, Nightmares, Reader-Insert, Romance, Slow Burn, Surreal, Thriller, an absurd amount of coffee, bc the writer may or may not have a labcoat fetish, did i mention dilfs in labcoats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:54:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petals_and_bones/pseuds/petals_and_bones
Summary: As the daughter of the former Head of Research and the granddaughter of a former Director, you've always felt at home in the Federal Bureau of Control. However, following a promotion to work alongside Casper Darling, you become aware of the secrets of the Oldest House that even you didn't know about- and feelings you never thought would come to light.Will the threat of an unknown entity destroy everything you've come to love?
Relationships: Casper Darling/Reader, Dr. Casper Darling/Reader
Comments: 23
Kudos: 36





	1. New Employment

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished Control and it's my new favorite game. Also, I would literally die for Casper Darling, so here's more self-indulgent, P&B-is-in-love-with-another-fictional-character stuff. Whee!

_ “Jeez, can’t you do anything right?” _

_ “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, gathering up the spilled stack of papers from the linoleum floor. A nameless man in a suit towered over you, hands crossed, stony features not betraying the slightest hint of kindness.  _

_ “I don’t care whose kid you are, when you work here, you do your job properly. With no mistakes. Is that clear?” _

_ His teeth, stained an unattractive yellow, protruded from his curled lip. They were just begging for a good punch. You swallowed the urge like a stone, standing back up and straightening your pencil skirt with a free hand. “Crystal clear, sir.” _

_ “Good.” He gave you one more surly up-down before stalking off, mug in hand, to join forces with the rest of the executive suits at their hive of desks. It was no wonder everyone on the executive floor was so crabby- you’d be crabby too if you had to stay chained in your cubicle and do paperwork all day. And the only place to take out one’s anger was on the poor, new intern.  _

_ Bundling up your remaining armload of mail, you made your way to the Head of Research’s office. Last stop of the day, and always your favorite. Two staccato raps on the door were answered with a gruff, “Come in.” _

_ You pushed it open, balancing the mail on your arm, and gave your first genuine smile of the day. “Hey, Dad.” _

_ “Watch it.” Your father warned with a lighthearted lilt to his voice, waggling a finger in your direction. “You’re my employee now, I don’t want to be accused of favoritism.”  _

_ “Even if I were your favorite, these people would still treat me like the plague.” You retorted, depositing his mail in the wire box on his desk. Next to it, polished to an almost twinkling shine, sat his name plaque:  _ Theodore Ash Jr., Head of Research, FBC.

_ Your father raised an eyebrow, leaning forward on his desk. “Having a hard first week, kiddo?” _

_ “That’s an understatement.” Flopping down into one of the familiar office chairs, you breathed out slowly, trying to let the tension ebb from your weary shoulders. “Most teenagers go to, like, summer camp or something. Why do I have to be your stinkin’ intern?” _

_ “The opportunities may surprise you.” An amused chuckle ghosted his lips as your father shifted back in his chair, readjusting his glasses. “After all, you are a worm through time.” _

_ You sat up straight, confused. “Wait, what’d you say?” _

_ He blinked again, his expression slack. “The thunder song distorts you.” _

_ “... Dad?” Had the light in his office always been red? He was smiling at you now, in a way that was most unsettling, showing all of his teeth, even the molars. _

_ “Happiness comes. White pearls, but yellow and red in the eye.” _

_ Fear stole into your heart. You stood up, the office chair tumbling onto the carpet behind you. His smile made your stomach squirm, and he began tilting his head, so far his neck should have broken. “Through a mirror, inverted is made right.” His voice sounded like a chorus now, on the verge of screaming, as the blood-light pulsed through his office, surrounding you and making the entire scene…  _ wrong.

_ “Dad, please, STOP-” _

~*~

Fingers gripped at your shoulders, tight and shaking, as you suddenly snapped out of your dream. Your shouts died in the back of your throat as you sat up slowly, bones in your spine crackling in protest, and rubbed the sleep from your eyes. The fluorescent lights dug at your pupils and made your forehead throb. You winced.

“Sorry to wake you, Dr. Ash, I just thought you might want the reports from yesterday.”

“Muh.” You responded, somewhat ungracefully, as your vision adjusted to the bright lights of the laboratory. You’d fallen asleep on one of the corner desks for who knows how long. One of your assistants was standing over you, her perfectly-plucked brow creased with worry as she held out a small stack of papers. What was her name? Shirley? Shelley?

“Oh… Yes. Thank you, Sh- um, yeah. Thanks.” Painfully stumbling through your sentence, you gently took the pad of papers from her grasp and eyed her as she walked away. Perfect posture, clean lab coat, not a hair out of place, Even the slightly-flowery perfume she left in her wake smelled perfect. The disheveled state of your own lab coat and clothes made you pale in comparison. You didn’t set the best example for being a laboratory superior.

The bones in your joints creaked and snapped as you stood up, stretching the last of the stiffness from your frame. You glanced at your wrist- after pulling an all-nighter on some diagnostics the night before, you weren’t expecting to see how early it still was. ‘Might’ve slept all morning if what’s-her-name hadn’t come to wake me up.’

Before you could analyze her paperwork, however, the tantalizing idea of coffee made everything else melt away. Coffee first, then work.

The yellowing lights of the Acoustics Research Lab were a harsh contrast to the dark relief of sleep, and you found yourself squinting as you walked over to the room’s coffee pot. Empty. Of course.

Next option, the cafeteria downstairs.

Your walk to the lobby of the Research sector was slow and paced as you blinked sleep-crust from your eyes. Instinctually patting your front pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, you lit one with little flourish and took a slow drag, your pace relaxing as the first zutz of nicotine flooded your system.

Your indoor smoking habit got you a number of glares from passing colleagues, but your privileges as a premier in Acoustics Research were many, and no one ever had enough of an issue to risk arguing with you about it.

Familiar faces dotted the morning crowd as you made your way down the long, winding stairs of the main Research Sector. There were waves and passing “good morning”s that you responded to with a friendly nod. At the base of the stairs, a couple of agents were singing to the enormous trees that jutted up through the room’s center. A normal morning. Another day.

You finally made it to the lower level, eager for your first cup of coffee, and you took a long, satisfying drag from your cigarette before tapping it into an ashtray on a spare cafe table. The room was populated with other bleary-eyed colleagues in lab coats, all eager for their small vices as they began their day. 

Slogging through the line to refill your mug of coffee was easy enough, and you had nearly taken your first sip when another morning greeting stood out from all the others.

“Dr. Ash, good to see you!”

It was with great force that you pulled yourself away from the bitter allure of your coffee, but when you did, you were suddenly more awake than any amount of caffeine or nicotine could render you.

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in his smart bow-tie and sweater vest, Dr. Casper Darling waved enthusiastically at you as he weaved around other weary faces. His boundless energy was infectious, and a small smile tugged at your lips to match the wide, goofy one plastered under his neatly-trimmed mustache. Something about him had always made your heart flutter. 

“Same to you, Dr. Darling. You look chipper.”

“How many times have I told you to call me Casper?” He finally made it through the crowd to stand beside you, adjusting his glasses with a nervous titter.

You snorted, sipping your coffee and pulling another cigarette from your shirt pocket. “Not enough.” Flicking the lighter with a flourish and inhaling deep, you felt another head rush as the acrid smoke burned your lungs just right. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh, not too much!” He stepped politely out of the way of your smoke trail, seemingly unfazed by your habitual gruffness. “I was curious to know how things were going in, ah,” he leaned forward as if he were telling another child a secret on the playground, “ _ acoustic  _ world.”

“About as well as one would expect. I was up all night running some diagnostics on a new resonance coming from the Refrigerator. Langston’s been bugging me about it for days.” You took another long drag, sighing deep, and looked up at Darling. He was riveted, hands folded politely behind his back and posture slightly leaning forward.

It was adorable.

“I didn’t find much, though,” you continued, taking another gulp of coffee. “Think he’s just being paranoid. What about you, how is being Head of Research?”

“I was hoping you would ask!” His dark eyes lit up, obviously eager to tell you all about it. “I’ve been finishing my design of the Hedron Resonance Amplifiers. We should start production on them shortly. It’s really exciting, seeing all of the ideas come together, you know?” It was really cute, watching him tell you all about his latest project. You appreciated seeing someone in charge actually enjoy their work. 

“Yeah, sounds like it. That must be some fascinating stuff.” Another long drag. You watched the smoke curl into the air around the base of the trees. “I would love to be involved in such a groundbreaking project. Must be way more fascinating than doing resonance diagnostics of the same three AIs all day.”

“Well… why don’t you?”

You weren’t sure if you heard him correctly at first. Your gaze shifted back to his smile, just as eager as ever. He wasn’t joking. Your grip on your mug tightened. “Seriously?”

“I don’t see why not. I admire the work you’ve put in on auditory research.” The wide, goofy grin sent sudden butterflies swirling through your stomach. He was an easy guy to have a crush on. “You’re more than qualified. And it’s boring having a team who never laughs at my jokes!”

Your laugh surprised you with how genuine it was, and you spotted a few heads snap in your direction out of the corner of your eye. Laughter wasn’t really common in the Research Division.

“Well, when can I start?”

“How about…” Darling checked his watch, humming under his breath. “Once you’re finished with your coffee?”

You inhaled sharply on your cigarette, smoke shooting unevenly from your nostrils as you coughed. “T-Today? You mean,  _ now _ ? Dr. Darling, I have documents to review, diagnostics to finish-”

“- and a very qualified team of assistants who would be thrilled to receive a promotion.” He finished cheerfully, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning forward, shortening the distance between you both. His expression scrunched into a tantalizing, playful smile. “You know you want to say yes. C’mon. Say yes.”

You laughed again, caught off-guard by the absurdity of the situation, and the incredible, convincing power of the older man. “I… okay, fine. Yes.” You put up both hands in a mock surrender. 

“Wonderful! We can get everything set up in my office. Come along!” Darling slipped a hand out of his pocket and guided it carefully around your back, gently leading you toward the staircase. Little shots of electric excitement shot out from the warmth of his hand between your shoulder blades, and you felt your cheeks warm. Some promotion this was turning out to be.

~*~

Several days later, you had a new office and an even newer set of work expectations. The upside was that you were in a higher position and, of course, you were working with Dr. Darling. Both were practically dreams come true for any Bureau employee.

The downside was that you had no fucking clue what you were doing.

After one particularly stressful evening hunched over a soldering iron and a stack of messily-scribbled notes, you finally gave in and trudged down the hall to your supervisor’s office. You rapped your normal staccato pair of knocks, and were greeted with a chipper, “Come in!”

Darling’s office was even more chaotic than yours. Books and papers strewn everywhere, red threads pinned to walls and across the ceiling without rhyme or reason, and a stereo in one corner blaring a long-winded electric guitar solo. Darling was cross legged on his floor, his salt-and-pepper hair tousled and his sleeves rolled up to the elbow. Something about the image made your heart skip a beat, letting his office door close slowly behind you. His eyes lit up upon meeting yours as he scrambled to stand up.

“Dr. Ash!” He leaned down to retrieve his coffee mug before striding over to the stereo and turning the music down several clicks. “Burning the midnight oil as well?”

“You could say that.” You offered plainly, walking over to him and offering your armful of messy notes. “With all due respect, Dr. Darling, I don’t know if I’m well-informed enough to construct an HRA based on your design.” The notes were accompanied by a wry smile and a shrug. “I can’t amplify a resonance if I don’t know its source.”

Darling stared at you unblinkingly for several seconds before he took in your words, and quickly scooped the notes out of your hand with an embarrassed smile. “Yes, yes, of course! You’re new to the project! I apologize for not briefing you further, everything has been a little overwhelming.” His pink, flustered cheeks paired with the tired eyes behind his glasses made your heart pang with pity, and you placed a hand on his arm to slow him down.

“It’s alright, really, Doctor. Don’t worry. We have all night, remember?” You gently took your notes back from him and placed them on a table next to the door. “Let’s get some coffee first, we both need a break.”

He blinked a few times before his expression split into a wide, relieved grin. It was dazzling despite the already bright lights of his office, and you fought the urge to look away. ‘Easy, girl.’

Despite the lateness of the hour, the lights in the main room of the Research Sector were still as bright as ever. The two of you walked in awkward, yet amicable silence to the downstairs coffee machine. After refilling your mugs diligently and walking back up to his office, you felt thoroughly refreshed and ready to get into some research.

If Darling’s willingness to walk you through your new job wasn’t enough of a surprise, it shocked you that much more when you went to light up a cigarette and he held out an expectant hand.

“Wait- really?” You asked, baffled, as you passed him one. He gave you a playful smile in response, lighting it and inhaling deeply. As smoke trailed from his lips, he went from adorable to sexy in a split second.

“I think you’ll find I’m full of surprises, Dr. Ash.”

Blood rushed to your face at a dizzying speed, the flood of excitement refusing to subside as he picked up your notes from the table. “Now then,” he started, “we’ll start with the type of resonance you’re studying.”

As he walked you through the discovery of the Slide Projector Altered Item in Ordinary, Maine several years before, you nodded patiently and leaned back against his desk. He paced after a while, talking with his hands, obviously entranced by the subject. The sparkle in his eye took on a wild glint as he described the expeditions into Slidescape-36 and the retrieval of Hedron (at which point you could swear he was fighting back tears).

You rarely interrupted, but when you did, he would respectfully answer your question with full attention. When he finally reached the end of his spiel, you were reeling from the sheer amount of information. Multi-dimensional resonance was normally your cup of tea, but the existence of an entity that was the source of all your study? That was definitely new to you.

“Would you argue that this is a resonance that’s more similar to infrasound?” You asked finally, mentally grappling with all of the evidence. He pointed, eyes glinting. 

“Pre _ cisely!”  _ Apparently, that had been the right answer. “I believe that all- and I mean,  _ all-”  _ he gestured widely, “paranatural activity is sourced from infrasonic resonance. That would explain the nature of so many AWEs! If they all have similar developmental bases to our own Hedron, who’s to say they aren’t sourced from their own resonant dimensional plane?”

His words were pushed out in such an excited flurry that his cheeks were pink, and in that moment, he looked alarmingly like a stereotypical ideal of a mad scientist. Except you could keep up with every word he was saying. There in his office, the two of you were sharing a connection unlike any you’d experienced with another member of the Bureau since your father had passed. It was refreshing.

He must have seen something distant in your expression, because he stopped himself suddenly. “I-I’m sorry, I must be going pretty fast. Should I slow down?”

“Not at all,” you smiled, crossing your legs at the ankle as you leaned further back against his deck. “It’s just that you’re one of the first people to treat me like a colleague and not like my father’s daughter.”

Something flickered in his expression, and he responded with another one of his dazzlingly warm smiles. “Of course. You’re a very accomplished woman in your field, I would never want to treat you as anything less.” 

It was like he was saying every little thing that hit your buttons.

“Well, maybe I should go back and work on my own HRA a little more, now that I know what the hell I’m doing?” You offered, pushing yourself off of his desk and stretching. Darling fidgeted with your notes for a minute, looking idly at the wall, before he said something unexpected.

“Actually, would you like to work here with me? I… could use the company, if you don’t mind the music.”

Butterflies swarmed your insides again, your cheeks turning pink. 

“I… sure, Casper.”

He visibly stiffened, his own face reddening as he twiddled with his mustache. “You called me- I mean, yes, wonderful! I, uh, have plenty of space. Work wherever you need. By all means!” He stumbled clumsily through his sentences. As if he couldn’t get  _ any _ cuter.

For the rest of the night, you worked alongside Casper Darling, getting his insight on your progress and watching as he sang along with whatever rock album he’d put on. Even after your watch beeped the arrival of the early morning, the coffee refills and shared cigarettes punctuated what you hoped would be the first night of many. 


	2. Secrets in Containment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for some gore in this chapter!

Before you’d been able to get any work done that day, you needed to tidy up Darling’s office.

Your shared all-nighters had become common over the last week, and it had developed as a nice little part of your routine to transfer your work over to his office the moment your final colleague went home for the night. What had been a pleasant acquaintanceship had developed into quite the friendship with all of the hours spent poring over schematics and equations.

And what had been a wandering eye on your part was developing into a  _ fierce _ crush.

Regardless of your personal relationship, the HRAs were also proceeding nicely. Darling predicted that they would be available to wear within a couple of weeks, after literal years of preparation and development, and he wasn’t shy about attributing that success to your efforts. You wanted to be humble about it… but you also  _ loved _ it when he complimented you.

So, as a favor, you were cleaning his office after the most recent night of work while he was in a meeting with the Director.

It was absolutely needed, too. The place looked like Einstein’s bachelor pad. Half-finished long algebra lay helter-skelter alongside empty chip bags and countless coffee cups. Collared shirts and sweater vests slung over the backs of chairs. A mysterious mold feathered the corners of the room. You weren’t much better with your own messes, but it was impossible to imagine Darling taking care of this himself, so it was no problem on your part.

You were replacing the last lightbulb when he trudged in, looking absolutely haggard.

“Jesus, Cas. What’d Trench say to you?”

Dragging a hand over his weary face, he staggered several paces to the left and pitched backward into his desk chair. “Guh.”

“That bad, huh?” You trailed after him, leaning forward on his desk as he took several deep breaths. A couple moments passed before he looked around the room...

And then did it again, sitting straight up in his chair. “Good god, you’ve cleaned.”

You laughed as he surveyed your handiwork with a stunned expression. “Don’t worry, I didn’t find anything too embarrassing. Mostly just amazed that your heart hasn’t given out from all the coffee you drink.”

He remained speechless, for long enough that you were getting worried he didn’t like it, before he rewarded you with one of his wide, dazzling smiles. “I… wow. Thank you,” he said your first name quietly, in such a way that made your heart leap into your throat. It was hard to get used to being on a first-name basis with Darling, but absolutely worth it every time he used yours.

“Not a problem.” You muttered casually, retrieving a well-earned cigarette from your coat pocket. “So, tell me what happened with Trench.”

“Oh, god.” He fell back against his chair heavily. “He wanted to talk about P6. Dylan Faden. We finally removed him from the Prime Candidate Program and Trench is still worried about him. I  _ tried _ to explain to him that our containment protocols will keep him in line, but he’s worried about P6’s… temper.” 

You took in the information passively, letting your gaze trace over the lapels of Darling’s lab coat, mind wandering. “Uh huh, go on…” 

“He just won’t cooperate. I’ve  _ never _ met anyone as powerful as this kid, but he’s… probably a lost cause. I’m worried about it getting violent. He’s just too volatile. After what happened with Agent Roberts, we finally had to move him to containment.” He made a vague, frustrated gesture with his hands. “He was just... stressed! They put him through too much, he was just a kid!”

You were snapped back to attention by the unexpected anger in his voice; almost taken aback by it. It was rare to see Darling this up-in-arms about anything, especially something under his control. The shift in mood was unusual, but strangely not off-putting.

“I didn’t realize P6 had been the one responsible for Roberts’ death.” You responded, quite truthfully. The higher-ups often weren’t clear about…  _ incidents.  _

“Oh, he was. Very.” Darling leaned forward, elbows propped on his desk, as he took a deep breath. “How… familiar are you with his case?”

You shrugged offhandedly, gaze falling to his desk. “Only what you told me in regards to the AWE. I don’t know too much about him now. All my knowledge of the Prime Candidate Program kinda went out the window after my father figured out I wasn’t suited for it.”

Darling chuckled at that, standing up and straightening his bowtie. “Well, he actually has a psychological evaluation this afternoon… do you want to tag along?” The sheepish way he asked made your heart melt. Like he was shy. “I don’t know if I could brave it by myself.”

“I guess I am a little curious.” You responded, snagging your lab coat from the back of a nearby chair. As you shrugged it on, you noticed him looking at you out of the corner of your eye. “Everything okay?”

“Hm?” He started, then shook it off with a little smile. “Oh, yeah, of course. Nothing. I mean, yes. Everything’s okay.” Were his cheeks a little red? You couldn’t tell, you just responded with a wry smile and let him lead the way out the door.

~*~

It had been a very long time since you’d been to the Containment Sector. The stark cement walls and cool, slightly musty air brought you back as soon as you and Darling walked through security. Thoughts of you as a child came to you through a fog, running through the endless file cabinets to play hide and seek with yourself, being subject to countless evaluations and tests, and the eventual decline in memory as it was decided that you weren’t a prime candidate. Despite your heritage, it had been decided that your “abilities” were too weak.

In hindsight, you thought you’d done pretty well for yourself.

Past security, the two of you were met with some severe judgmental glances from varying agents wandering to and fro. You recognized one of them.

“Helen Marshall,” you greeted her warmly, extending your hand in a greeting. Her normally stony façade cracked ever-so-slightly in the form of a small smile as she took your hand, but shifted to stern again as she acknowledged Darling. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to come along today, Dr. Ash. I thought Research was more your realm of study.” She said to you blankly, face devoid of expression. It didn’t bother you. You were used to it.

“Call it curiosity. Cas- er, Dr. Darling invited me along for Faden’s psychological evaluation. Thought I could give some insight.”

“Indeed.” She responded, nodding before turning on her heel. “Follow me, then. Hopefully this will go smoothly.”

As the two of you trailed along behind the woman, Darling nudged you and whispered, “How’d you do that?”

“Huh? Do what?” You whispered back, confusion knotting your brow. He pointed at Helen, hiding his mouth behind his hand.

“Y’know, make her  _ smile!  _ I’ve  _ never _ done that!”

You stifled a laugh, rolling your eyes and waving his pointing finger down. “Takes practice.”

When your trio arrived at the containment cell, you had a feeling that Helen had heard your whispered interaction. Considering yourself lucky that she hadn’t said anything about it, you took that as your cue to silently follow Darling into the darkened room beyond.

As your eyes adjusted to the dim light, you realized that you were in a hidden observation room. Stony-faced men in suits were sitting behind a control board at the left side, and several chairs were set up to the right of them. The opposite wall was taken up by a window that looked into a room with a glass containment cell. The furnishing was sparse- no more than a prison cell- and you felt pity tug painfully at your core.

On the bed, in nondescript gray clothing, sat a figure. Dylan Faden, you assumed. He was completely bald, his hands clasped on his lap, his shoulders slightly slouched. The moment you entered the room, you could swear he  _ looked  _ at you. Just for a second.

As you and Dr. Darling got settled (you became considerably aware of your proximity to him), the room’s door opened and a woman you assumed was Dylan’s psychologist walked in.

She sat down across from him, straightening her blazer, and folded both hands daintily in her lap before addressing the room- for the records, you figured.

“Annual evaluation of Dylan Faden, formerly P6, performed by Dr. Carla Vaughn. The questions asked here correspond to the fifth iteration of the Gunnars Psychological Assessment. Are you ready, Dylan?”

The sullen figure remained silent. Dr. Vaughn continued. 

“Let’s begin, then. In a single word, describe the world around you.”

“Where’s Casper?”

His voice cracked like a whip in the stone-cold silence. Beside you in the dim light, you felt Darling stiffen. You didn’t blame him- a considerable chill was creeping up your spine as well.

Dr. Vaughn kept her cool. “Dr. Darling is out of the building today.”

“He’s never out. He didn’t want to come, did he?” Dylan’s voice sounded so wounded and small, it broke your heart to hear it. Beside you, Darling was absolutely motionless. “He never visits, not since Roberts… t-tell Darling it wasn’t my fault! I couldn’t control it yet, but I can now! I learned! W-Will you tell him?”

You risked a glance out of the corner of your eye. Darling’s expression was unreadable, but even in the dim light you could see he was as pale as a ghost. Dr. Vaughn continued.

“In a single word, describe the world around you.”

You watched Dylan’s expression change from desperate to furious in the blink of an eye. His fists clenched against his sheets. “A prison. A cold, empty prison. Not even a poster on the wall.” His voice was pure venom.

His psychologist seemed unaffected by the sudden mood change. “Mhm. What is the next number in the sequence: 3, 5, 9, 12, 15…?”

_ “18.”  _ Dylan huffed impatiently.

“What day is it today?”

“How the hell would I know?” He snapped. “It’s not like you give me a calendar.”

You felt Darling flinch beside you. Dr. Vaughn pressed forward. “You find a rabbit in the woods. It is breathing, but not moving. You cannot see any blood. What do you do?”

“Leave it.”

“Expand on that.” You watched Dylan’s shoulders tense with frustration and found your own doing the same.

“It doesn’t matter! The rabbit’s not real.  _ None _ of it’s real.” You weren’t sure how much longer he could keep it together. Darling hadn’t moved. He was as tense as a rock.

“What day is it today?”

“Do you enjoy asking people questions that can’t be answered? Is this what gets you up in the morning? What you dreamed of doing as a scared,  _ stupid _ little girl?”

The cutting remark made you flinch. Dr. Vaughn betrayed no emotion.

“Can you describe a dog to me?”

The tension in Dylan’s shoulders ebbed somewhat, but you didn’t like the look in his eye. Cold. Sharp. Part of you wanted to move closer to Darling to feel safer, but you refrained.

“In Ordinary, we had a friend. Nosebleed Neil. And when it all went crazy, you know what I mean, Nosebleed Neil turned into a dog. Or…  _ something _ like a dog.” You felt your stomach churn at the simple description.

Then, Dr. Vaughn made a mistake.

“What day is it tomorrow?”

Dylan snapped. “ _ Fuck off! _ I don’t know! There is  _ no calendar! How could I FUCKING KNOW?!” _

He jumped up, at the same time you saw two agents stationed near his cell start to move in. Dr. Vaughn insisted that he calm down, but he whipped around and looked up at the observation room you were in, pointing an accusatory finger. “Hey! Hey, are you watching this, you old  _ fuck?!  _ Did you send your bitch ‘cause you’re too scared of me?!” In one movement, he grasped the chair Vaughn had been sitting in and flung it against one of the glass walls.

You were speechless with horror as the security agents burst through the cell door into the small glass room with Dylan. Your stomach lurched in a giddy leap as one of the agents’ legs snapped backward with a thick, meaty crunch. Dylan hadn’t even touched him.

The second agent brandished a gun, and with a jerk of Dylan’s head, collapsed in on himself in a crackling of bone and a stream of fast-twitch muscle fibers. Gibbots of red blood exploded instantly on the inside of the cell, with the sound of a muffled bottle rocket going off. Someone screamed. Lights began flashing.

You couldn’t see anything else, as an unseen arm snaked around your waist and pulled you backwards out of the room. The last you saw of Dylan Faden was a wide, crazed smile on his blood-splattered face as he stared up into the observation deck.

~*~

Outside in the Panopticon, flurries of armed security guards rushed past you in a cacophony of boots stomping metal. You stood there stunned, eyes wide, unsure who or what had pulled you outside. Your gaze stayed on the now-closing door to the observation room. Between the shrieks of the alarms and shouting security guards, it took you several minutes to become aware of a different noise. A voice, saying your name. 

You turned slowly. Darling gripped you by the shoulders, saying your name over and over again, his eyes locked with yours. It was as if he was speaking underwater. Very slowly, you focused on him.

“... Casper?”

“Oh, god. Oh my god. I am so sorry.” He held you at arm’s length, eyes wide and wild, seemingly at a loss for any other words. “I had no idea he would… I am so,  _ so _ sorry.” In a sudden rush of movement, he pulled you into a hug, holding you firmly in his grasp.

You stayed completely tharn, pupils blown wide with shock as your fingers clutched at the back of his lab coat. He just kept apologizing, shaking his head, his voice sounding hollow and wounded.

Your tender moment was interrupted soon after. “Dr. Darling.”

He pulled away from you, looking almost like a kid who’d gotten caught with his hand in a cookie jar. Helen Marshall, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to slap the shit out of him. Instead, she just curled her lip and waved a hand. “Both of you, get out of here. We can’t risk any more casualties. I want to see you on the fourth floor in ten minutes for debriefing.”

Darling nodded, face twisted with shame and countless other unnamable emotions, as you slowly started to come back to reality. “Come on,” he muttered weakly, weaving his arm behind you and guiding you in the direction of the elevator. Over the distant shouting and sound of the alarms, you swore you could hear Dylan Faden laughing.

~*~

You didn’t make it back to the Research sector for another sixteen hours. Debriefing was brutal; stone-set faces behind thick visors and tactical gear forced you to recount everything you had heard and seen, over and over again, while running dozens of mental and physical tests. You were sapped of energy and multiple bodily fluids by the time you weakly stumbled into Dr. Darling’s office. He had made it out of debriefing before you did- veteran perks- and you were shocked to see him hunched over a half-empty bottle of jack.

“What the fuck, Casper?”

His head weaved on its way up to look at you, and upon making eye contact he lifted his glass with a loose smile. “There she is! Thought they’d… keep ya forever.” He hiccupped. “Join me.”

You eyed him warily for a moment, but honestly, after everything you had seen that day… eventually you realized he had the right idea. Peeling off your lab coat, you pulled up a chair and sat down heavily across from him. You swiped a slug of the amber liquor, wincing as it burned down your throat, and piggybacked it with a cigarette.

Darling looked  _ rough.  _ His hair and clothes were messy, with deep, dark circles under his eyes. You breathed in a lungful of smoke and he sighed, propping his head up on his hands. “I’m… sorry you had to see… all that.” He managed, unable to meet your gaze. “I din… didn’t know he was still so  _ angry _ …” 

You reached across the desk and gently brushed his hair from his face. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve seen worse. I should be apologizing that he talked about you like that.”

“Nah, I… I deserve it.” Darling snuffled, swiping the back of his hand across his face, and looked back up at you. His eyes were bleary and bloodshot but managed to focus on you with surprising clarity. “Just… thank  _ god _ you’re safe. I couldn’t… forgive myself if anythin’ happened t’you.”

You felt your stomach swarm with butterflies again, and you just looked away with a shy smile. “It’s almost like you care about me or something, huh…?”

Silence.

“... Casper?”

When you looked back at the man, he’d passed out onto his desk, the bottle hanging loosely from one hand. You wanted to be shocked at his state, but instead you just smiled, gently removing the bottle from his hand and standing up with a long stretch. You took your discarded lab coat and gently draped it over his shoulders, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Cas.” You whispered softly, brushing his hair back and gently cupping his cheek. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta drown that unresolved trauma and relentless guilt somehow, huh Casper


	3. Impossible Visions

You sat back in your chair, rubbing your tired eyes, and breathed a deep sigh.

It had already been a week since the Dylan Faden incident, and it had been a busier one than most. You shifted uncomfortably to accommodate the bulky HRA strapped to your chest- you and Darling had finalized the design at last, and made it not only available, but mandatory for employees of the Bureau to wear. This decision had been ill-received by most of the agents under employment.

You were officially appointed the head of HRA Research and Development (which was really nothing more than a fancier title and an upgrade in pay). There had been titterings amongst Darling’s staff after he made that decision. You could tell by the side-eyes and the cruel whispers among your cohort that everyone considered you a Teacher’s Pet, so to speak. But you didn’t care. The warm balloon of pride that had swelled in your chest when he made the promotion official was enough to put all of their nasty gossip at bay.

That, and if they knew the amount of paperwork that came with being second-in-command on a project of this scale, none of them would be envious. 

Countless sheafs of this paperwork were strewn haphazardly across your desk as you drained the last of your coffee, eyes dry and bloodshot. You rubbed small, tight circles against your temple, eyes closed, letting the filtered light flash yellow and red across your eyelids.

_ “White pearls, but yellow and red in the eye,” _ you muttered quietly. A phrase that kept coming up in your dreams. The dreams were another part of the reason you were constantly pulling all-nighters; the heavier workload was an excuse to avoid sleep and the red-tinged, whispering visions that came with it. They weren’t normal. You  _ never _ had the same dream twice, but now every time you closed your eyes it was the same: dappled red and black light. Whispers of the same mantra, over and over, and a sickening weightless feeling. Like you were falling from a tall building with nothing to catch you. And worst of all, the feeling of not being alone- that stomach-churning, horrible sensation of another presence incredibly close, like it was right behind you...

You sat up straight suddenly, worried you might doze off if you kept ruminating on it. Your fingers ghosted the rectangular bulge of your front pocket and you mechanically retrieved, lit, and began nursing a cigarette- desperate for the nicotine rush to push away the fog in your head. 

A knock at your office door made you jump slightly, and your voice was reedier than you expected when you answered it. “Come in.”

A familiar head poked through the crack in the door, accompanied by a friendly little wave. “Hi, Dr. Ash!” Emily Pope nudged her way in, clipboard in hand. You saw the slightest crack in her facade as her nose wrinkled at the smell of cigarette smoke. “Just wanted to ask how the project was going. I can’t find Dr. Darling, so I figured I’d track you down.”

“Good to see you, Emily.” You responded, tiredly but warmly, and gestured for her to sit in one of the chairs across from your desk. She did so primly, smoothing her shirt under her HRA with pursed lips. You continued, “It’s slow-going. Hard to run diagnostics when half the things I’m shuffling through are complaints. I wish we had an advertising team for this.”

Emily laughed politely, showing a row of perfect white teeth. “Give them some time, they’ll get used to it. How are  _ you _ holding up?”

Her altruism was admirable. You stubbed out the butt of your cigarette and retrieved another, unsure what else to do with your hands. “I’m alright, I guess. Having trouble sleeping. I’m getting these weird dreams… the same ones, over and over again. And there’s always this voice saying weird shit, too. Kinda makes me wonder if I’m being poorly affected by the Hedron resonance.”

Emily’s face went cold, her eyes sharp and calculating. “You  _ have _ been working pretty hard… but Hedron resonance is also no joke.” She spoke slowly, lips sculpting her words with great care. “I remember Darling mentioning something about the effects that the resonance was having on his subconscious, as well. Maybe you should take a break?” 

She glanced at her watch and stood up, straightening her shirt again. “Listen, I have an appointment I need to get to, so just take some advice: try to relax. Try out the new extrasensory tanks we installed in the lab downstairs- I hear they are  _ great _ for zen.”

“Yeah, of course. Thank you, Emily.” You smiled around the cigarette that dangled from your lips, offering her a wave as she walked out the door. 

‘Extrasensory labs, huh?’ It seemed pretty tempting. And if she couldn’t find Darling, that means he wasn’t around to breathe down your neck about getting your paperwork done.

Not that you would really have minded having him breathe down your neck…

You quickly shook the thought away, standing up and stretching out your spine with a juicy crackle. Yeah. Zen sounded good.

~*~

The Extrasensory Lab was tucked quaintly in the depths of the Parapsychology Sector, not too far from your new office. Your clearance was high enough for you to sail past the staunch-looking security guards stationed outside, and you were pleasantly surprised to find one of your former interns working in the lab beyond.

“Connor!” You greeted the familiar young man cheerfully, poking your head into the observation room with a wave. He was a shy, mousy brunette with soft brown eyes, and was one of the most socially awkward people you’d ever worked with. But he did his job, and he did it well. “I had no idea you’d been moved to Parapsychology.”

Those same brown eyes regarded you with cool indifference, and the slightest ghost of a smile pulled at his lips. “Good afternoon, Dr. Ash. What can I do for you?” Robotic as always.

“Well, Dr. Pope recommended some rest and relaxation…” You stuffed your hands into your pockets and strode into the room, arms stiff in a playful shrug. The passive realization that you were starting to adopt Darling’s mannerisms warmed you somewhat. “I actually wanted to ask if the tanks were available for recreational use. You know, for  _ zen.” _

“Yes. I imagine the HRA research must be quite taxing.” He agreed, standing from his work station and straightening his coat. He was wearing an HRA, you noted with some degree of satisfaction. “If you don’t mind being a guinea pig for me, I’ll gladly let you use one of the tanks for a little while. I’d just need to track your vitals and make sure everything goes smoothly.”

“Sounds good, kid.” You grinned, looking over at the room’s impressive observation window. The tanks beyond stood in staunch, dark rows- hardly looking like a place for rest and relaxation. “Yeesh… Kinda reminds me of the cryo pods from  _ Alien _ .”

When you looked back at Connor, he was staring at you with no expression. You pressed forward. “Y’know, the movie with the xenomorph… the one from the eighties? With the chestburster?” You playfully mimicked an alien erupting from your chest with your hand, sticking out your tongue for added comedic effect. “Blagh! Y’know?”

The awkward laughter at your own pantomime quickly subsided as your former intern betrayed no reaction. “I can’t say I’ve seen the film, Doctor.” He finally managed, the silence unbearably awkward as he turned back to his monitors. You nodded slowly and put your hands back in your pockets.

Tough crowd.

A few minutes later, with Connor’s help, you were settled in one of the extrasensory tanks. Your lab coat and HRA were discarded in the observation room- you thought they would make it uncomfortable- and you’d decided to forgo Dr. Yoshimi Tokui’s Guided Imagery Experience, opting instead to let yourself be alone with your thoughts. Your former intern hooked up a couple of nodes to your temples and, with a stiff nod, shut the coffin-like lid on top of you.

The darkness was immediate and absolute, sticking to you like pitch. Not even the faintest trace of light was visible. All you could hear was your own breathing and the gentle white noise being played inside the tank. You closed your eyes (not that it made much difference either way), and focused on your breaths. ‘Just let yourself disconnect,’ you thought.

For the first several minutes, it was quite nice. You felt weightless, like the darkness itself was cradling you. The white noise settled into a gentle pulse that matched your own. It felt womb-like. Familiar. Safe.

Slowly, however, you slowly became aware of something else. A quiet, yet distinct sound that weaved in and out of the rhythm of the white noise.

A voice. Just a whisper. You could barely make out what it was saying, and just chalked it up to auditory hallucinations. They weren’t uncommon with sensory deprivation. Yeah, that’s what it was. Just auditory hallucinations. 

The hallucinations got harder to disregard, however, when you started seeing things.

Faint blooms of red light out of the corner of your eye, feathering out through the blackness like ink in water. You turned your head, but nothing was there. And yet it came again, a pulse of red, just behind you. Teasing you.

The whispers slowly began to increase in volume. They were beginning to overtake the white noise, pressing in on your ears with a tangible heaviness that sent shivers through you. Your vision dimmed into a low, sinister red. It pulsed again. A heartbeat, lost in waves of blackness. Then again. And again.

Your own pulse began to increase as the voices finally became distinct enough for you to make out what they were saying.

_ “Leave your insides by the door.” _

“No…” you murmured, shifting uncomfortably. The red pulses were lapping continuously now, spreading across your vision in a clinging film.

_ “Push the fingers through the surface into the wet.” _

There was a flash of a figure between the waves of red, hunched over and tense. You could picture his smile without having to see it, and feel the cruel glitter in his eyes. “Please stop.” You said, louder, trying to drown out the voices.

_ “You’ve always been the new you. You want this to be true.” _

The voices were reaching a crescendo, clashing with the flickering darkness. You began to push on the sides of the tank, trying to find a handle to let yourself out. You couldn’t tell if your eyes were open. You needed to feel  _ yourself,  _ to be grounded to something, before the red waves washed you away completely. “Stop this!”

_ “We stand around while you dream. You can almost hear our words…” _

“Help!” You suddenly shouted, pushing against the top of the tank.

_ “... but you forget…” _

“Connor! Let me out!”

_ “We wait in the stains.” _

“CONNOR!”

An unexpected flood of light assaulted your senses, and you held your arms in front of your face with a cry. You could feel your head throbbing as sounds and sensations came pouring back, electrifying your frayed nerve endings.

“Dr. Ash! Are you alright?!” Connor’s arms snaked around your waist and pulled you up into a sitting position. “Your vitals spiked. You were having a panic attack. Can you hear me?”

“Y-Yeah, yeah…” you managed, shakily. You realized your hands were trembling as the nodes were pulled off of your temples. The lab looked perfectly normal. “H-How long was I in there?”

“Just under thirty minutes, Doctor.” He answered calmly, keeping a steady hand on your shoulder as you swung your shaky legs over the lip of the tank and stood up. Your vision swam, but you managed to cling to consciousness, your senses overwhelmed.

“I…” You trailed off, letting Connor help you put your HRA back on. Your eyes felt like they were vibrating in their sockets. “I need to go.”

“Wait, Doctor, I need to run some tests-”

“No time.” You cut him off, shrugging on your lab coat and making a beeline for the door. He kept protesting, but it fell on deaf ears. You needed answers.

~*~

Dimensional Research was as silent as a grave when you got through the firebreak, without a soul around. You made your way up to the observation deck, ignoring the cold sweat that had broken out on the back of your neck.

When you got there, the observation lab was completely dark. The only illumination came from the Hedron Chamber beyond the window of the control room. You approached it slowly, gnawing on your lower lip. Hedron was lit from below by powerful flood lights, and hung in the middle of the massive room like an alien moon.

You fiddled with your HRA, haggard eyes locked on the enormous entity. Was it trying to communicate with you? And if so, why did it feel so  _ sinister?  _ You thought you knew everything about Slidescape-36 and the answers that Trench and Darling had brought back, but if your visions were any indication, the resonance coming off of Hedron was far beyond your comprehension. 

A slow, shaky breath escaped your lips. It felt like Hedron was looking back at you. You wanted to feel unsafe, but instead you just felt so…  _ small.  _ The sensations of insignificance and loneliness made a lump rise in your throat slowly, and before you knew it, you were fighting back tears.

“Fuck, what the hell am I doing?” You asked yourself quietly, your voice coming out in hitching gasps. Hedron watched as you quietly sobbed, all the stress and confusion finally overtaking you fully. Your shoulders trembled as you wept, wiping your face with your shirtsleeves. “I’m in way over my head here,” you finally admitted softly, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I’m... not ready to handle all this by myself…”

“You know what they say about staring into the abyss.”

Panic squeezed your lungs like a vice, and you whipped around with wide eyes and a stifled shriek. 

Darling stood in the doorway, half-occluded by the shadows of the lab beyond. He looked disheveled and tired, but he was still a welcome sight. When your eyes met, he offered a gentle smile.

“Casper? What are you doing here?” You swiped at your eyes, embarrassed. How much had he heard?

He slowly walked forward, hands fiddling with one another as he gazed at the faint glow coming from Hedron. “Same as you. I wanted answers.” The tension in your chest ebbed as he stood beside you, eyes distant and wistful. “I guess neither of us are finding much tonight, huh?”

The both of you were silent for a couple minutes, staring at the unblinking globe. Thoughts swirled in your head of the visions you’d had, the voices, the horrible invasiveness. You finally decided to broach the topic.

“Casper, is there something you aren’t telling me about the Hedron resonance?”

His expression sagged, and in the eerie mother-of-pearl light, it looked as if he’d aged several years in the span of one moment. Running a nervous hand through his greying hair, he slowly nodded. Your name ghosted his lips warily as he began. “I… never wanted to tell you why we were making them. The HRAs. I thought it would be enough to have a colleague who could understand the nature of the resonance, and given your family history in the Bureau…” He sighed, gesturing helplessly.

“The Hedron resonance is more than just a multidimensional tone. It’s  _ alive,  _ a  _ being,  _ and after we brought it from Slidescape-36, it began to… communicate.” His words all came out in a rush, as if he couldn’t get them out fast enough. “With me. B-but it doesn’t  _ want _ anything, it’s just trying to protect us from something… else.”

Your mind flashed back to red, and voices

(you are a worm through time)

and you quickly shook them off as he continued.

“I believe that there is something else in Slidescape-36. Something more sinister. I don’t know how to describe it, like Hedron, but with much different intentions.” His voice trembled, eyes boring into the space beyond the window. “Hedron wants to help  _ protect _ us. That’s why we’re making the HRAs. If something comes through that Slide Projector- and I’m sure it will- we’ll be ready.”

He exhaled shakily, blinking hard as he finally turned to look at you. “Does that answer your question?” His voice was timid. Frightened. Your chest tugged painfully.

“I… saw something. In the extrasensory lab, earlier today. A vision. I don’t know if it came from Hedron, but it was so... “ Grappling helplessly for your words, you gestured in the empty air. “It was wrong.  _ Sinister,  _ like you said.”

Darling’s eyes narrowed, a flicker of concern shadowing his features. “Were you wearing your HRA?”

You looked away sheepishly. “I had to take it off before getting into the tank.”

He muttered your name through gritted teeth, frustrated, and crossed his arms. As if you were a child who had misbehaved. It hurt you to see it. “You… you  _ know _ you have to keep it on! I shouldn’t be telling you this! You helped design the damn thing!”

“I don’t know,” you retorted, your nostrils flaring as anger gripped you suddenly, “obviously if I hadn’t taken it off, you never would have told me the reason I designed it, Casper!”

The two of you stared each other down, the tension pulled almost to the breaking point, before Darling breathed deeply and turned to look back at Hedron with a resigned shrug. “I’m… I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have kept that from you. But these visions you’re talking about sound exactly like the effects of the resonance from Slidescape-36. The exact kind of tone  _ that,” _ he gestured at Hedron, “has been warning me about.”

He fiddled nervously with his glasses, face flushing in the dim light. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.” His voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper. “You know that.”

The gravity of his words finally sunk in, leaving you speechless for several moments. You spared one last look at Hedron before turning away from the window, unable to bear its presence any longer. “Come with me.”

Darling’s head whipped around, his expression baffled. “What?”

“Just… come on. I can’t think with that thing staring at me.”

He blinked, once, and then trailed along behind you as you left the observation chamber without a backward glance.

~*~

At least half an hour of navigating the maze-like lower floors later, the two of you finally arrived at your intended destination. The wire-mesh walls of the elevator rattled unnervingly as descending floors crept by. Beside you, Darling’s head was on a swivel as he nervously fiddled with his bowtie. He obviously wasn’t comfortable being outside the Research Sector.

When the elevator finally came to a bone-jarring stop, Darling caught sight of the sign above the large entranceway.

“... The Black Rock Quarry? Why bring me here?”

“You know the properties of Black Rock,” you answered offhandedly, hands in your pockets as you strode across the uneven floor. “Makes me feel less like I’m being listened to. Plus, this is one of the places I come to unwind.”

Darling walked beside you quietly, his questions silenced as the full quarry came into view. The maintenance elevator had stopped on one of the upper cliffs, safely distant above the mining going on at the base of the valley, but still providing a spectacular view of the otherworldly night sky above. Galaxies swirled around themselves, and stars twinkled as they cast an ethereal glow over the glistening obsidian-like rocks that hung suspended in the air.

Without a word, you sat down on one of the mineral outcroppings, propping yourself on your elbows and gazing at the stars. A beat passed before Darling sat down beside you, shifting to make himself as comfortable as he could.

The two of you sat in amicable silence. When you felt like you were ready, you finally spoke.

“Growing up in the Bureau was really weird, to say the least. I feel like I know everything about this place, and at the same time, it knows everything about me. I’ve been a part of the Oldest House for as long as I can remember… sometimes it feels like Dad just had me to test out how a child’s upbringing could be affected by surroundings like this.” You paused, watching a shooting star streak across the sky.

“... I’ve always been a constant in a place of transition. It’s easy to feel impossible to separate myself from this place.” You could see out of the corner of your eye that Darling was looking at you. “But I’m my own person, and I’m not just a conduit for the Oldest House. I have to take time to step back and be able to have control. It’s the only way I can keep myself sane.”

You turned to meet Darling’s gaze. His dark eyes were soft and patient, sparkling with starlight. Your heart lurched with a painful throb of infatuation. “I don’t want to see you become a cog in a machine that doesn’t care about you. You’re my father’s successor for a reason: you’re good at your job, but you’re also the only Casper Darling there is. And if you get caught up in guilt about things you can’t control, like Dylan, or this obsession with the Hedron resonance… you’ll lose yourself in this place. It would fall apart without you. And… I...” your voice cracked and you went silent, just hoping he knew what you meant.

An unnamed understanding linked the two of you as your gaze lingered on his. His lips upturned in a gentle smile as he reached over and took your hand, a gesture that spoke more than words ever could. His thumb stroked soft circles over the back of your hand as he looked back up at the stars. You followed suit, cheeks flooding with warmth, feeling completely at ease for the first time in a long while… longer than you cared to admit to yourself.

As the both of you watched the otherworldly sky above, fingers intertwined, you found yourself reflecting on the promise you had made to him before. He seemed so set on making sure that nothing happened to you, a sentiment that no one had extended to you since your father passed.

You only hoped that you could be strong enough to make sure that nothing happened to him, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to rewatch a couple of the FBC information videos when drafting this chapter and dear god I wanna eat this man up with a SPOON.
> 
> Anyway, that was so sweet it was cavity-inducing. Hope you liked the guest appearance from a certain adorable android!


	4. Copy of a Flower

As you stared at your reflection in the dark pool of your coffee mug, you found yourself wishing you were having the resonance visions again. Not because you enjoyed them, granted, but because they were a much easier-to-understand pair of rose-colored glasses.

Suffice it to say, you were falling head over heels for Casper Darling and you had no idea what to do about it.

It had only been a day since your trip to the Quarry Threshold, but it had been one of the most emotionally confusing days of your life. You were married to your work. You had never had plans to get romantically close with anyone- especially not your _superior_ at the _Bureau._ And yet, every time you thought of his goofy smile or the way he talked with his hands, or pictured one of his gaudy sweater vests peeking out from his lab coat, you found yourself grinning like an idiot. Even just the mention of his name made your chest tighten and your stomach flood with butterflies. 

The warmth of your coffee mug echoed the feeling of your hand in his, and you found yourself powerless to stop the smile that spread across your face at the memory.

Still, there was a logical, very overbearing voice in your head that was having none of it. ‘You cannot pursue a relationship with one of your colleagues, especially not one in such an important position. It could speak disaster for the Research Sector, and especially for your own reputation.’

You shook your head to silence the voice and pushed your mug of coffee away, turning instead to the files strewn across your desk. However powerful your feelings were, they could always be quelled by more work. 

In an attempt to distract yourself, you had spent the day gathering files on the history of Darling’s work with Hedron. You wanted more concrete answers for the nature of the Hedron resonance- and more specifically, what other presence Darling could have possibly worried about there being in Slidescape-36.

As you scanned over the files, head clouding with unprofessional thoughts every time you saw Darling’s name on one of the records, things slowly came together in your mind.

The Slide Projector was the gateway to Slidescape-36. It had been discovered during the AWE in Ordinary, Maine. There were no surviving slides aside from 36. Darling had been the one in charge of the Slidescape-36 expeditions, Hedron research, _and…_

“Dylan Faden.” You whispered, the rosy clouds of infatuation clearing from your mind at the thought of P6.

It all made sense. He was a recurring factor- maybe, just _maybe,_ he was your missing link to finding out why you were having these visions. 

Though it wasn’t that easy, you thought, standing up and pacing your office. You had seen what he could do to people who made him angry. And so far, the absence of Darling was what made him the angriest. If he knew how closely the two of you were working... He could kill you in an instant just through a temper tantrum.

All of these were valid risks, to be sure. But were they going to stop you from pursuing answers?

‘Not at all,’ you decided, heading for your office door. ‘I just have to make sure Casper doesn’t find out.’

~*~

You felt the tension building in your shoulders as the elevator doors opened to reveal the Containment Sector. The oppressive atmosphere weighed on your shoulders immediately, making your throat constrict and your breaths short. You felt your hands clutch into fists inside of your pockets, as you closed your eyes momentarily to calm yourself down.

‘Just get to him first, and then figure it out from there.’ You reassured yourself, opening your eyes.

The lunks in security eyed you suspiciously as you passed through, your Research Sector gear and lack of an escort obviously setting you apart from most of the typical traffic. But your level-four clearance spoke otherwise. 

It wasn’t hard to track down Langston, right outside of the Panopticon, as usual. His eyebrows narrowed with confusion when he saw you approaching.

“Dr. Ash. What a surprise. How can I help you?”

Satisfied to see an HRA hugging his portly frame, you decided to improvise. “I’m here to see P- er, Dylan Faden. Strict orders from Darling.”

“Is that so?” Langston wasn’t convinced, and he crossed his arms in a failed attempt to look more imposing. “I haven’t heard anything about allowing _anyone_ into his cell currently. He’s still on full lockdown.”

You swallowed dryly, aware that you were on thin ice. 

“Oh, come on. Would you really expect Darling to be diligent about letting people know his plans?” You continued breezily, waving a dismissive hand. “I just need to talk to Faden about information dealing with the Ordinary AWE. It’s necessary for HRA research.” You left it at that, aware that any further information was _highly_ classified. 

Langston stared you down silently for a few tense seconds before stepping back and gesturing for one of his security guards to come over. “I’ll give you an escort. You have fifteen minutes. Don’t make him angry- I don’t want to have to scrub another associate off the walls of his cell. I’ll let the observation team know you’re coming.”

You hoped your relief wasn’t too obvious on your face as you nodded gratefully, following the large, armored security guard through the thick metal doors into the heart of the Panopticon.

If your nerves hadn’t been frayed enough already, they went through that much more stress as soon as you were guided into the enormous facility. The cylindrical room rose hundreds of feet into the air, and below your feet stretched endlessly down into the darkness beyond. In the center, a towering structure grew and branched off numerous bridges along the rounded walls. The scope of the Panopticon was more intimidating than impressive to you- as if the idea that humans could build anything so large and powerful was more of a threat than an accomplishment. 

You stood with your guard escort in the rattling metal elevator across the bridge, watching the emotionless white lights flicker in and out of view as they were occluded by the metal walls leading up to the fourth floor. Your hands started to get clammy once Dylan’s cell door came into view. Guards in full riot gear and armed to the teeth stood staunchly around the tall metal scanner outside, which bleeped with a green light as you walked through it. 

The guard who had brought you to the cell finally spoke, addressing you over his shoulder. “I’ll be stationed right outside the cell if you need me, Doctor. Please- be careful in there.”

The genuine concern in his voice made you raise an eyebrow, but before you could say anything else, the large metal door slowly slid back as an alarm went off somewhere inside. A cold lancet of fear slid into your belly as you glimpsed Dylan Faden’s cell. It was very clean. They must have taken a while to clean off all the blood.

As you approached, you could see that Dylan was standing in the middle of the cell with his back to you. The guard waved you past with his gun, sealing the glass door behind you once you were inside. Once it shut, the sounds from the outside of the cell were muffled instantly. The similarities you felt to the extrasensory chamber made your stomach lurch. Nevertheless, you pressed on.

“Dylan? My name is Dr. Ash, I work in the Research Sector. Is it alright if I ask you some questions?” You decided against telling him your first name. Less for him to work with.

He shrugged, not turning to look at you. You took that as a sign to continue.

“It seems kind of stuffy in here. You would think they’d let you crack a window.”

Your attempt at levity didn’t receive any response, either. You felt awkward standing so close to the door, but no matter how hard you tried, your feet wouldn’t let you walk any closer to him.

“Dylan, I would like to ask you about some things I’ve been seeing.”

He stiffened and then, ever so slowly, turned his head to look at you over his shoulder. His eyes were just as chilling as they were the first time you saw them, and having them trained on you made you feel like a defenseless prey animal. A cold hand wrapped its fingers around your lungs and squeezed. No turning back now.

“Do you want to talk about what happened after the AWE you experienced?”

His voice was low and calculated. “How do you know about that?”

“I did some research on you. Looked through your file. There’s quite a bit of information in there on the event in Ordinary.”

Dylan chuckled bitterly, gaze shifting to the floor. “I already told everyone everything that I know. There’s nothing else to ask about.” He chewed on his words and spat them out, as if they were poison. Harsh floodlights from outside of the cell glinted off of his porcelain-like skin.

“That isn’t true.” You risked a step toward him. “You started hearing voices, didn’t you, Dylan? Seeing things?”

He turned around to face you, arms hanging at his sides. His posture was angled forward slightly, lips parted, and something about his stance made you think of a predatory cat ready to pounce. Every muscle tense.

“How do you identify a flower?”

The absurd question caught you off-guard, chilling you to the bone in such a warm cell. “I beg your pardon?”

“Say…” Dylan began to pace, catlike, head bowed, “you were to… plant a flower. And it grows. Then you take a seed from that flower and plant it, but _that_ one grows. It’s exactly identical to the first flower in every way, right?”

“Um…” Goosebumps prickled your upper arms. “I… guess so?”

“Now, say you were to _rip up_ the first flower.” His clenched fist jerked into the air on the word _rip._ “But you have its identical copy, planted and grown. So, by that logic…” Pausing, he turned to you. “Did anything really happen to the flower at all?”

You sensed movement out of the corner of your eye and glanced over to see the guards shifting uncomfortably. Then you looked back at Dylan, eyes hard, refusing to play his games. “Get to the point, Faden.”

_“I_ am that flower, Dr. Ash. The Bureau ripped me up and tried to turn me into a perfect little copy of myself and tell me _I was the original._ But it doesn’t matter, because they threw me away once I wasn’t good enough, and now I have people like you asking me about _Ordinary,_ and about the _voices-”_

“The voices,” you prompted, “tell me about them. Please, Dylan.”

His gaze slid down to the HRA on your chest, and his eyebrows narrowed. “Why do you have that?”

“I made it to keep me safe.” You answered, truthfully. “From the voices, Dylan. The resonance.”

_“Bullshit.”_ he spat venomously, baring his teeth. You flinched, stepping back toward the door. “I know who made that. And you tell him to come see me himself if he wants to know more. Tell him to stop being a fucking _coward.”_

You grappled for words, not expecting him to bring up Darling. “N-No, I-”

“GO!” he barked. Icy panic pulsed in your neck as you backed up hurriedly, your shoulder blades pressing against the cold glass. Outside, you heard the flurry of boots come rushing toward the cell to let you out. As the door slid aside and a pair of gloved hands reached in to escort you from his cell, Dylan just smiled. 

“You bring Darling next time,” he snarled, “or I’ll find him myself.”

~*~

Your visit to Dylan Faden’s cell had raised some alarm in the containment sector, especially following his little outburst. You were lucky to have made it out unscathed, but upon the request by a containment official to be debriefed, you’d talked Langston into getting you out of it.

“Look,” Langston said with a frustrated sigh, “I’ll cover for you as long as you agree to keep this under the radar. I don’t know what you and Darling are up to in that lab of yours, but will you promise to leave me out of it after this?”

“Yeah, of course.” You shook his hand gratefully, relieved that you weren’t going to get caught for your little ruse. He huffed and gave you a reluctant nod before making some mumbled excuse about needing to check on an Altered Item. 

Your head buzzed with thoughts as you made your way out of the containment sector, ignoring the dirty looks from other agents. So, you’d gotten your answer… Dylan Faden must have been aware of the resonance coming from Slidescape-36. 

And while it would have been feasible to return and get more information, you didn’t want to risk bringing Darling anywhere near him.

As the elevator carried you out of Containment and back up to Research, you stood and reflected on Dylan’s words. His relationship with Darling seemed spectacularly complicated, and as much as you feared the kid, you also felt pretty sorry for him. You knew how he felt better than most, between the poking and prodding of the Prime Candidate program, and-

Your thoughts were interrupted by a low humming. Like someone singing under their breath. A smile crossed your lips; you’d recognize that tune anywhere.

The elevator doors opened to the main Research hub and you followed the humming around the corner and up the stairs, in the direction of your office. It steadily increased in volume, finally revealing its source as you rounded another corner. Ahti, the janitor, was scrubbing your door’s tiny window with a rag. The lemony scent of his disinfectant stung your nose, bringing back countless childhood memories. Ahti had always been a part of the Oldest House- like you.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Ahti?” You asked, the welcoming sight of a familiar face relieving the tension from the last couple hours. 

The heavy rhythm of his accent rolled off his tongue like music. “Just needed to wash your windows. You’ve never been a clean one, Nappula.” Hearing your childhood nickname made you giggle. Ahti slowly stooped to dip his rag in the soapy bucket at his feet. “So you made a shield for the resonance? That’s good work. But there is still much more to be done, many questions to be answered, _perkele_.”

Cryptic, as always. You crossed your arms and leaned against the wall. “Oh yeah? Think I could be improving the HRAs?”

He shook his head, eyeing you over his shoulder. “Many things to be improved. Too much dust clouding the windows. Do you know why you can get through the maze?”

“You mean the Ashtray Maze?” Now that he mentioned it, you’d always been able to make it through the maze without any trouble. It had surprised Darling when you reassured him that you didn’t need any special clearance to get through to the Hedron chamber. “I guess I figured it liked me, y’know?”

“No, Nappula. It is because you are an Ash.” His wiping motions ceased and he pointed at you with a gnarled finger. “The Ashtray, it is bound by Directors. A controlled object of power. Like leashing a tiger, _perkele_. You hold the favor of the Oldest House, and from your grandfather’s binding.”

You narrowed your eyes, slowly understanding. “Wait, so even though it’s currently bound to Director Trench, I’m still designated to pass through it because of Granddad? That’s…” you shrugged, “nice, I guess, but what does it have to do with anything?”

“Everything!” Ahti leaned down to pick up his bucket, his joints groaning with the effort. “The House, it… _knows_ you, Nappula. Trust the tiger on the leash, it will not bite as long as you are careful.” His dark eyes regarded you seriously. “The House brings more answers than a boy in a glass box, _perkele,_ all you must do is listen. Understand?”

You nodded carefully. “I think so, Ahti. Thank you.”

“It is nothing.” He turned and began shuffling down the darkened hallway, but stopped in his tracks and raised a hand as if he’d forgotten something. “And please, Nappula, do something about Darling. The two of you, you are a hard mess to clean up.”

Your cheeks flooded with warmth. Embarrassed, you stuffed your hands into your pockets. “And how do you know about that?”

“I am not yesterday’s grouse’s son,” He called over his shoulder as he shuffled away, “I know love when I see it.”

And just like that, he was gone, leaving you standing in the corridor.

You shook your head with a smile, turning to open your office door. Your nerves were still a little shot, but you had calmed down considerably after your little encounter. It felt like if you just sat down, took some deep breaths, and let yourself shake it off, that you would be right as rain. 

Your assumption fizzled out like a candle flame the moment you stepped into your office and saw Dr. Darling leaning against your desk, arms crossed, eyes narrowed. Dread froze you completely still, hand still on the doorknob, as he slowly and calculatedly adjusted his glasses. He never broke eye contact with you.

"You went to see Dylan Faden, huh?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dylan Faden is scary. Also, Nappula is a common Finnish nickname for children that means "button". <3


	5. AWE-18

It was not at all normal to see Casper Darling in a bad mood. It was weird to see him frustrated. And it was remarkably, unbelievably rare to see him angry.

The man who stood in front of your desk was absolutely _furious._

“Casper-” You started, but he was off like a firework before you could say anything else.

“What the hell were you _thinking?!”_ He snapped, bringing a hand down on the top of your desk with a harsh ‘whack’. Confusion bubbled up inside you and you flinched.

“I was just- look, I needed answers, okay? All that stuff I saw in the extrasensory tank, the voices, the visions… He’s the only constant in our research, I thought he could fill in some gaps.” The shaking in your voice was evident- a combination of the shock you felt from seeing him so angry and the impatience you already had with the entire situation.

Darling scoffed, crossing his arms again and looking away. “You didn’t even tell me. Not only did you not tell me, but you lied to another Bureau department head about your _own orders._ I just- how could you be so thoughtless?” He shook his head. “I-I mean, I had to find out from _Langston._ And you should count yourself fucking lucky that I covered for you, because we both would have been in it up to _here_ if I hadn’t.” His hand jerked up, level with his neck.

His words stung. Deep. You struggled for words, anger rising in you as well. No one talked to you this way, not even someone as special as Darling. You pulled a cigarette from your coat pocket and lit it mechanically, eyes never leaving his. As you breathed in the smoke, exhaling it through your nose, you flicked your lighter shut with a snap.

“What was I supposed to do, Casper? Be escorted by _you?_ That kid would tear you to shreds on sight.”

“That… that…” You could see a vein bulging in his neck. “That is exactly my point! He could have done the same to you! You watched him kill a man!” He exclaimed your name furiously, eyes wide.

“Calm down.” You blew another thin trail of smoke, trying to keep your temper in check. “He didn’t lay a finger on me. And so what if he had?”

“So what if he…” Darling laughed, in a strange, detached way, running a shaking hand through his hair. “You could have- _would have-_ DIED! How do you not see this as an issue?!”

You rolled your eyes, breezing past him to the coffeemaker on your work table and grabbing your mug. “Not everything I do is your business, even if you’re my boss. I admit the lying was a mistake and I should tell you next time, but I had the clearance. And I’m just doing my job.”

“Locking yourself in a glass box with a telekinetic psychopath is not your job.” Even though you were facing away from him, you could picture him staring holes through the back of your head. You ignored it, pouring yourself a steaming cup and taking a well-needed sip. As if you really wanted your heart rate to be accelerated for you.

“Look… why are you being so hard on the kid? Is it just because he was your failed pet project?” Your words were starting to get as sharp as his. Cigarette smoke flowed down into your lungs.

“My- My-” he stammered your name again, grasping at straws. “I’m being _hard_ on him because he’s been responsible for the deaths of _multiple_ agents, that’s why!”

Your coffee mug hit the table with a sharp _rap_ of porcelain against wood as you turned to him, eyes blazing, sick of his shit. And then you said words that you regretted before they were even out of your mouth.

“What, and you aren’t?”

The hurt in his eyes was instant, and his expression faded from angry to devastated. You felt your stomach wrench at the sight, regret pooling in your core like a puddle of lead. All of the anger drained from the room, leaving a cold emptiness in its wake. The two of you stood in the thick, tense silence and stared at each other until the cigarette hanging from your lips smoldered down to ash.

You blinked a couple times and looked down at your hand. You’d spilled coffee all over it when you slammed your mug onto the table. Watching the steaming droplets running down your fingers, you sighed.

“Casper, I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’ve saved lives, not taken them, and I know that just as well as you do.”

His voice, when he answered, was small and timid. “Why do you want to defend him?”

Your eyes closed, the afterglow of the fluorescents burning red inside your eyelids. “I know what it’s like to _be_ him.”

“... What?”

The disbelief in his voice still managed to sting. You squeezed your eyes shut tighter and took a deep breath. As you rehearsed your words in your head, memories began to resurface that you’d wanted to keep buried forever. Truths you’d promised to keep to yourself, no matter what.

“You knew my father.”

“I-” Darling’s voice faltered a little. “Yes, I did. He was a very good man-”

“But did you know my mother?”

You turned to look at him. He had taken a couple steps toward you in the time you’d been looking away. His hands fidgeted nervously with one another. “I… didn’t. No.”

“Yes, you did.” You answered plainly, voice flat.

His brows furrowed and he tilted his head slightly. The ghost of a bemused smile played over his lips. “What are you talking about?”

With a deep sigh of resignation, you pulled out another cigarette and placed it between your lips. “My mother and father separated when I was a baby. He was working at the Bureau, and she wanted something… more from life. So she packed everything up, me included, and we moved out to San Diego.” Your lighter flicked, the flame dancing, and you lit the end with a satisfying sizzle. “She decided that I would live a life away from the Oldest House because she resented it for taking up so much of her husband’s time, I think. I don’t blame her.”

You paused to take a deep, satisfying drag. Darling was watching you with rapt attention. You blew a trail of smoke to the side and continued.

“When I was about two years old, I woke up one night to the sound of people breaking into the house. Police... swat teams, you know. Only I was just a kid, I had no fucking clue what they were. I was terrified. Cried my ass off. I don’t remember this next part, but the police found me, hauled me off to New York where Dad was in a matter of hours.” You coughed, eyes stinging. “By all accounts, I’d never met the man, but he’d always dreamed of having me back. Treated me like a princess. But every time it came up, I’d always ask him without fail, ‘Where’s mom? Why can’t I see mom? What happened to her?’ He always said he’d tell me when I was older, and left it at that.”

Taking another pause, you sipped your lukewarm coffee. Your hand was shaking slightly. You couldn’t look Darling in the eye.

“Eventually, I forgot what she even looked like. You replaced Dad as the Head of Research a couple years later, and Trench enrolled me in the Prime Candidate program soon after. I was only in it for seven years- you might remember- before the Faden siblings showed up and I was gracefully eschewed of my responsibilities as a future Director. Not that it bothered me. I couldn’t lift things with my mind for shit.” You laughed bitterly. “The night they took me out of the program, Trench was the one to finally tell me about my mother.”

Darling shifted, out of the corner of your eye, and took a step towards you. You ignored him, determined to finish the story so you’d never have to tell it again.

“My mom was killed in an AWE. She was… was changing a light bulb, and the bulb socket caught her finger. It pulled her _in._ Like it was _hungry._ She managed to call 911 while it was absorbing her arm, but she… never finished. I-I’ve never seen the crime scene photos, but by the time the cops got there, all they could see of her were her feet, all twisted together at the ankles. The rest of her was pulled, stretched, sucked into the wiring of the house. He said the thickest section of her body they could find was about the width of a pencil.”

You passively realized your cheeks were wet with tears as you looked up at Darling, finally. His face was contorted in a combination of pity and horror.

“Dear god,” he said softly, “your mother was the victim of AWE-18. I’ve… I’ve read the call transcript.”

“So have I.” You wiped your tears with your sleeve, taking another deep inhale off your cigarette. “The last AWE before my father stepped down as Head of Research and disappeared. So… yeah.”

You let out a long breath, the weight of the burden of secrecy ebbing from your shoulders somewhat. Painfully attempting to swallow the lump in your throat. Darling’s mouth moved wordlessly for several seconds before he found his voice, saying your name softly.

“I am so sorry… I had no idea. The Records department had so much of that document redacted, it was impossible to tell where it happened or who the victim was.” He walked over to you and put a hand on your trembling shoulder, eyes soft and forgiving. “So that’s why you feel for Dylan Faden.”

“Yes,” you gasped, trying to keep your sobs at bay. It wasn’t working. “I know the futility of the Prime Candidate Program, I know what it’s like to survive an AWE, I know _all_ of it. I thought maybe that linked us, and maybe we could both hear that resonance because of it, but it’s no use. He won’t talk to me without you.”

Your heart fluttered slightly, despite the pain, and Dr. Darling curled a finger under your chin and tilted your head up to face him. As your teary eyes met his, he smiled, brows pinched sympathetically. “If you want me to go with you, I will. Maybe you could be the one to finally get him to open up.”

“Absolutely not.” You shook your head, pushing his hand away. “I’m not going to watch you get killed by him for sport.”

“That doesn’t excuse the fact that you risked the same thing by going to see him yourself,” His tone was gentle but firm, and his fingers clasped your wrist. You flinched, looking down at your hand and back up at his face. He was closer- _far_ closer than he’d ever been before. Your cheeks flushed and you swiped at them with your sleeve again, trying to play it off as crying.

“B-But it doesn’t _matter_ what happens to me anymore…”

“That’s a lie and you know it.” He’d lowered his voice even further, until it was nearly a whisper, as he leaned in to catch your gaze with his. He said your name softly. “Look at me.”

Nervously, you locked eyes with him. The way he stared at you so intensely made you want to melt. “I won’t let you put yourself at risk just for answers.”

“Why?” His voice sent shivers down your spine.

“You know why.” You wanted to look away, but couldn’t.

“Tell me anyway.” He was so close you could feel the warmth coming from him, feel his breath softly feathering against your face. With a smile, he said your name softly, so soft you could barely hear it.

You didn’t want to be _alone_ anymore.

To keep from drowning completely, you reached up and grabbed the lapel of his coat, pressing your lips to his in an urgent kiss.

He made a muffled noise- of surprise or satisfaction, you weren’t sure- and slid his hands around your waist. You pulled each other close, bodies flush in a tight embrace. Warmth flooded you and left you weightless, unwinding feelings spooling in your core. He held you carefully, shielding you, his splayed fingers warm along the length of your spine.

The shortest eternity ended when you pulled away, eyes opening. His glasses had fogged up, collar crooked, and his lips were just slightly parted. You exhaled slowly, the air between you full of your mingling breaths. 

He broke the silence, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as he pressed a loving kiss to your forehead.

“That’s why.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, that happened! It was super weird to imagine him as angry, but once I got going, the image in my head was believable, and tbh... kinda hot. Might capitalize on that a little later, wink wink


	6. Late-Night Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's so much blushing in this chapter, oh my god.

_“I’m not saying we can’t do it, Dr. Ash, I’m just saying we aren’t sure where to start. There’s never been an HRA made on this scale before- what does it even matter, if every FBC employee is wearing one?”_

You readjusted your magnifying spectacles and glared over at your office phone. You’d put it on speaker so you could keep working, seeing as how you had at least 1,500 capacitors left to attach to 1,500 more circuit boards. It was some tedious work.

“It’s simple. Just take the preexisting schematics and make them 300 times bigger. What’s so complicated about that?” Your finger tapped repeatedly the handle of your soldering iron, as if you were putting your annoyance forth to the universe in morse code. The woman on the phone sighed.

_“We don’t have enough time! We need construction teams, maintenance, testing, this- this is something that should take years to complete!”_

“Moira, if I _really_ wanted to know the details of an impossible task, I would have asked you how you got this job.” You snipped impatiently, narrowing your eyes. Tap. Tap. Tap. “Just get started on the schematics and let me know how many materials we’ll need so I can page the quarry, all right?”

She tittered through the phone, obviously offended, and when she finally orchestrated a response her voice was dripping with contempt. _“... fine. I’ll have it calculated right away,_ Doctor.”

A _click_ on the line ended the call, and you groaned. This was going to be more of a headache than you had thought.

You’d been assigned the role of overseeing the construction of a large-scale HRA, to be mounted on the outside of Hedron’s containment lab. You had no idea what its purpose was, and the last week had seen you running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to rally a competent team to help you put it together. The whole process would have been a lot easier with some supervision, but Darling apparently had other things to attend to.

Darling. Your stomach clenched with nerves as you thought of him, subconsciously pulling out and lighting another cigarette. The ashtray on your desk was bristling with half-finished tokens of your stress, and one of your colleagues had politely told you that no one would respect the authority of a doctor whose office smelled like a roadhouse. You’d not-so-politely told her to fuck off. 

Your temper hadn’t fared the power exchange well, either.

Ever since the argument that had ended in a kiss last week, you hadn’t seen Darling at _all._ The two of you had been too busy to have time for catching up… and, in all honesty, you were avoiding the hell out of him.

It had been so easy to fall in love with him, but two things kept nagging at you as time passed. The first: you’d made an agreement with Trench to keep all family history as it related to the Bureau completely under wraps. You could trust Darling to keep a secret, but the fact that he’d heard something that no one else had- _seen_ a part of you that no one else had...

You took a long drag from your cigarette. Vulnerability was not your strong suit. 

Your second concern was that he was, officially, your supervisor. You’d skimmed over the briefing regarding relationships in the workplace enough to conclude that they were severely frowned upon. You didn’t want to get in any deeper shit with Trench. The two of you had a complicated enough relationship in the first place.

Standing up from your desk and stretching out the stiffness in your neck, you walked over to the stereo turntable you’d had installed in your office a couple weeks before. Darling had given you several of his own records to listen to, playing it off as a friendly office-warming gift. One of them was spinning steadily under the needle, filling the room with soft vintage jazz and crooners lamenting lost loves.

Though you were scared to admit it, deep down, you worried that he’d consider the kiss a mistake… that your feelings were unrequited… honestly, it was easy to spiral into a tunnel of negative thoughts. So you’d just spent the last week distracting yourself instead. 

Distracting yourself did nothing to keep you from spending every free moment thinking about that kiss, however.

You trailed a finger languidly along the edge of the turntable, looking around your office. Schematics of the HRA were everywhere, strewn alongside half-put-together circuit boards and loose strips of solder. It wasn’t exactly the workplace of someone who had their shit together. As if to push the mood further, you had a sudden craving for the excellent bottle of port that Director Trench had given you as a promotion gift.

Most of your colleagues had already gone home for the evening, so you weren’t worried about being discovered drinking in your office. You knelt down and retrieved the bottle and a small glass from the cabinet below your turntable. Not bothering to use ice, you poured a couple of fingers into your glass and lifted it slowly, toasting to an empty room.

“Here’s to being single forever,” you muttered wryly, and took a long sip.

You were on your second glass of port and your 647th circuit board when there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in.”

Dr. Darling came trudging through your office door, haggard and exhausted. You sat straight up, going completely rigid, as butterflies swarmed your insides. “Casper? I- um, do you… need something?”

“Yes,” he responded tiredly, “a place to hide from responsibility.” As the door shut behind him, he took off his glasses and polished them on the hem of his sweater, giving you a good chance to look at him. He had dark circles under his eyes, and the distinct look of someone who hadn’t slept for a few days.

“Sounds like it.” You turned back to your work, eager to focus on something else. Thin trails of smoke snaked up and around your face, the acrid smell of burning flux stinging your nose. He put his glasses back on, glancing around the room politely.

“I love what you’ve done with the place. Very sleepless-genius chic.” Smiling wider, he pointed at the stereo in the corner of the room. “Hey, I’m uh… I’m glad you’re making use of that…” He chuckled nervously, hands fidgeting. When you looked back up at him, you saw that he was tense, nervous, obviously feeling out of place. “So… I haven’t seen you in a few days.”

Great. It looked like you were talking about it now, then.

“I’ve been busy.” You answered offhandedly, pushing down the rising emotions. 

He shifted uncomfortably, stress evident. “I know, but… I-I would have thought, given all that’s _happened…”_ He trailed off, reaching up to fiddle with his glasses again. 

“Casper,” you began, sheathing your soldering iron and standing from your desk. The room shifted a little- you weren’t drunk yet, but you were certainly getting there. “With all due respect, you haven’t made much of an effort to come see me, either.”

He bristled, embarrassed, the hand fiddling with his glasses moving down to stroke his mustache. “That’s because I’m, uh… busy, too! Lots to do, you know.” His nervous laughter was cut short by your glare.

“Well, now you’re not busy. So, spill it, Darling.” You loved the double meaning potential of his last name- and you could tell by the way he turned scarlet that he liked it, too. “What’s on your mind?”

By the looks of him, he was slowly turning your words over in his head, debating what to say. You took a sip of your drink. At length, he swallowed dryly and began to speak.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m... avoiding you. Where to go from here has been weighing on my mind rather heavily, and, um…” He gestured vaguely. “Well, it’s- it’s not a position I can say I’ve ever been put in, for sure. “ His awkward smile was so endearing, you just wanted to eat him up with a _spoon._

“Things would be bad for me if it were.” You responded frankly, starting on a new cigarette. “You certainly acted like a man who knew what he was doing.”

“Oh! I, um…” His face was crimson as he stumbled through an explanation. “That is… adrenaline is a powerful, er, influence.”

“Seems to be.” You drained the last of your glass, discarding it on your desk and eyeing him with a smirk. “Go on.”

Darling blinked a few times, trying to find his thoughts. You hadn’t seen him so flustered since the first day you had started working together. When he said your name, the seriousness with which he treated it made your heart beat that much faster. “I’m not sure how to define what… _this…_ is. But I know what it could be, and I just-”

You took several steps forward and reached up, pressing a finger to his lips to stop him in his tracks. He made a stifled noise of surprise. 

“You talk too much, Cas.” You told him simply, removing your finger from his lips and taking both your hands in his. “I can’t even hear the music.”

He chuckled, avoiding your gaze, and you watched him turn several shades redder when you guided one of his hands to your waist, draped your arm over his shoulder, and started to slowly sway to the music.

“Oh! Uh, are we dancing right now? Because I, er- I haven’t danced in a _long_ time, maybe ever. So maybe I should just-”

His shyness was so sweet it made your heart ache. “Humor me.” You said quietly, looking up into his face. You’d dimmed the lights in your office just enough, and the low illumination lit his face with dreamy allure. His dark eyes glimmered behind the rounded spectacles as he gazed down at you. 

‘Either it’s the alcohol or the music,’ you thought, ‘but he’s one of the most gorgeous people I’ve ever seen.’

The two of you slow-danced in silence for a while, letting the jazz do the talking, until the needle hit the end of the record with a quiet fuzzing rasp. You could feel that the tension in his shoulders had slowly subsided, and he sighed deeply as it came to an end. “You definitely are making more use of this thing than I ever did.”

“It’s not the only thing of yours you’ve been underutilizing.” You responded quietly, reaching up to brush a lock of hair out of his face. “Seems to me like you’re afraid to get close to people, Casper.”

“I’m not _afraid,_ it’s just that…” he sighed, posture diminishing a little, and the butterflies in your stomach increased as he let his forehead rest against yours. The comforting warmth of him made you shiver a little. “... I’m not very good with… non-professional relationships. I guarantee that no one in the whole Department considers me their friend. I’m just their boss.”

His tortoiseshell glasses had slipped down to the edge of his nose, and you playfully pushed them back up in place with the tip of yours. “And how do you think I see _our_ relationship?”

“Er-” He blinked, the cute glasses gesture obviously catching him off guard. Your name tumbled clumsily from his half-smiling lips. “Well- you think I would have kissed you if I thought of you as just a coworker?”

“Not at all,” you murmured, one of your hands creeping up to fiddle idly with his bowtie. “But the question is if you want to keep thinking of me as a… _not-coworker.”_

The flirty smile quickly fell from your face as he reached up, gently covering your hand with his. He had a tight, comforting grip on your waist, holding you carefully, but obviously not wanting to let you go. His eyes were dead serious, despite the rosy blush that was dusting his cheekbones. Your gaze flickered down to his lips and back up to his liquid-dark gaze. You passively realized that you’d never noticed how much of his hair was silver, and the sheer amount of tired lines near his eyes. The signs of a man who’d dedicated his entire life to the Bureau- just like you. 

“I’ve always held you in a higher regard than ‘coworker’, you know. Half of me expected that you would have taken over my position by now.” He said quietly, his fingers interlacing with yours. “I could tell as soon as I met you that you were an incredible woman. I’ve always admired you professionally, but…” His blush darkened by a couple shades, “it took me a little longer to start admiring you in other ways.”

You were floored. The idea of _the_ Dr. Casper Darling admiring your work was astonishing in and of itself, but to be thought of as _more_ than that…

“Wait, is that why you hired me for Dimensional Research in the first place?”

He blinked a couple times, taken aback, and then laughed warmly. “Well, your doctoral thesis was on the nature of infrasonic resonance in paranatural occurrences, you were perfect for the job! But… yes, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t want to work so closely with the most beautiful woman in the Bureau.”

Your heart dropped into your core, the resulting splash of warmth flooding from your head to your toes. If someone had turned the lights off at that instant, you would have sworn you were glowing. The surge of feeling was some of the most intense you’d felt in a _very_ long time. “You’re just saying that,” you murmured, smiling through your embarrassment.

It caught you even more off-guard when he kissed your forehead softly, his hand sliding up the small of your back to rest between your shoulder blades. “I’m not, I promise.”

He held your gaze for a moment, lips parted slightly, before leaning down and kissing you properly.

The frizzled bundle of nerves inside you lit up like a Christmas tree. You grabbed both the sides of his face and held onto him like a life raft. His hands were on your hips, his tongue in your mouth, and the intoxicating blend of sensation had your head spinning.

You didn’t acknowledge that the two of you were moving until you felt your hips bump up against the side of your desk, the resulting rattle snapping your eyes open. Darling pulled back at the same time, collar rumpled, breaths uneven, his expression deliciously blissful.

“I’m sor-” he started, but cut himself off with a shuddering gasp as you leaned up and nipped playfully at his ear. “H-Hey,” he laughed, “I’m sensitive there…”

“Oh yeah? Where else are you sensitive, _Doctor?”_ You let the words drip teasingly from your lips as you kissed your way along his stubbled jawline. He made incoherent flustered noises, unsure what to do with his hands, eventually propping them on your desk for added support. When you pulled back, his eyes were cloudy and lidded.

“That’s… gracious, I haven’t… whew.” He managed, blinking periodically, goofy smile wide on his blushing face. “Security’s gonna scold us when they find _that_ on the surveillance tapes tomorrow.”

An idea crossed your mind instantly, and you kissed Darling’s cheek again with a wicked smirk. “Unless we go somewhere they can’t see us.”

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“C’mon,” you said in a hurried answer, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of your office. You felt a fluttering, giddy nervousness at the stunt you were pulling. But as the two of you snuck through the darkened Research Department, past locked doors and dim lights, your excitement began to outweigh any nerves you felt.

You had him all to yourself, and you weren’t going to waste this chance.

When you finally got to your intended destination, you could see by the realization on Darling’s face that he knew exactly what you had in mind. Even in the relative darkness you could see him turn a radioactive shade of red. He said your name quietly, eagerness and uncertainty evident in his voice. “Are… you sure?”

You giggled, leaning up to kiss his cheek, “You’re the one who said you wanted to hide from your responsibilities, right? Where else to do it?”

You turned back to the yellow-lit doorway, gripping the familiar light switch cord, and gave it three good tugs.

The shift to the Oceanview Motel was jarring, and always felt like a brake was being slammed somewhere in your gut. A secondary spell of dizziness came and went, and you shook it off, making sure your passenger had also traveled safely. He stood behind you, looking a little more uncertain this time, and he held onto your hand like his life depended on it.

“What gave you this idea?”

“Casper, I grew up in this place. The Oceanview is perfect for this sort of thing.” You walked along the narrow motel corridor to the lobby, admiring the quaint decor. Dust motes swirled through the late afternoon light that streamed in through the windows, and faint music was playing on the tinny radio behind the counter. The whole place smelled faintly like fir trees.

“I definitely give you points for creativity…” he said quietly, squeezing your hand. You grinned back at him as you tapped the bell on the front desk. A door far at the end of the opposite hallway opened with an aged creak, sunlight pooling on the carpet in front of it.

The two of you approached the open door. You swore you could hear your heart beating out of your chest, anticipation tingling your skin. Too late to turn back now- not that you wanted to.

“Remind me what we’re doing here again?” Darling leaned down and murmured in your ear, the closeness of his voice sending shivers down your spine. You eyed the familiar room past the invitingly-open door: the half-shuttered windows, wood-panel walls, and most of the room taken up by the half-made bed.

“We’re testing a hypothesis, of course.” you responded, looking at him over your shoulder as you led him into the room. 

“Oh, is that so? What would that be?”

You reached up and gently took his glasses off, grinning at how disheveled and flustered he looked. This wasn’t a moment you wanted to forget. Placing his glasses on the table against the wall, you answered him teasingly. 

“I’m finding out exactly what’s under that lab coat of yours, Dr. Darling.” You grabbed his collar and pulled him in for another kiss, letting the motel door slam shut behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gee I wonder what's gonna happen in there
> 
> It's funny, bc the circuit-board job that Our Hero is doing at the beginning of the chapter is my current job and the irl reason I haven't been able to write this one as quickly as I'd like. I love electrical engineering wheeee
> 
> Anyway stay tuned for completely sin-free shenanigans!


	7. Testing A Hypothesis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major NSFW warning for the o n l y Casper Darling/Reader porn on this site (that I'm aware of). 
> 
> Those of you who aren't into spicy scenarios, we'll be back to regularly scheduled plot next chapter!! As for the rest of you sinners... enjoy! ;)

You’d always considered yourself an intelligent woman. 

Well put-together. Not vulnerable to flights of fancy or distractions. You were a  _ scientist,  _ your realms of interest lying in the rational and the believable. In a place as paranatural as the Oldest House, you’d navigated an upbringing as an assumed parautilitarian and come out on the other side a staunch, logical physicist.

There were few things that caught you off-guard. And yet, despite all odds, this man who was just as logical and straight-laced as you could render you completely helpless with just a smile. Could take your breath away with just a touch.

As Darling backed you up to the room’s modest bed, hands ghosting up and down your sides, lips gracing your skin with intoxicating kisses, you felt all rationality ebbing from your system. Nothing mattered except his closeness to you; the gentle scent that lingered on his clothes, the feeling of his hair as it slipped through your fingers, the mingling of your breaths in the sunset-glowing air.

He snapped you back to reality by murmuring your name, his lips moving close to your ear.

“You look beautiful.”

You smiled, fingers curling in his hair. “I’m far from beautiful.”

He tsked under his breath, hands gripping your waist with surprising firmness. “Your powers of observation are  _ sorely _ lacking.”

Your arms were suddenly forced above your head as he tugged your shirt free, the gust of air against your bare skin tingling with sensation. Your hands pressed against his chest, fingers undoing the buttons of his lab coat. The flurry of motion between you was tinged with an odd desperation, the haze of desire hanging heavy in the air.

The tip of his nose brushed your hairline as he pressed a soft kiss between your eyebrows- a surprisingly intimate gesture that sent a warm, comforting feeling across your flushed face. You eased his coat off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor with a gentle rustle, running your hands down his arms. The warmth in your face increased in intensity as you felt the distinct swell of muscle under his dress shirt. More than you’d expected.

Darling eyed your expression and grinned, his normal awkwardness completely overridden by the same flirty confidence he’d had the first time you kissed. His hands pushed you backwards, gently but insistently, and you sat on the bed with a small gasp of surprise. As you watched, he hooked a finger in his bowtie and pulled it loose with a flourish, unbuttoning his collar underneath. Your heart was hammering out of your chest.

“You make sweater vests sexy.” You observed truthfully, saying anything to break the silence. He blinked, then laughed.

“That’s never  _ quite _ been my intention, but if you think so, I could always keep it on…”

“Absolutely fucking not.” You retorted playfully, sitting back on the bed and propping yourself up on your elbows. “I get to see it all the time. It’s what’s underneath that intrigues me.”

“Hm. Bossy. I’ll have to fix that.” He smirked, tugging both shirts over his head and tossing them aside in one fluid motion.

You knew you’d be attracted to whatever you saw- but you still weren’t prepared. Carved muscles flexed in his arms as he ran a hand through his hair. Your eyes traced the curve of his impressively sculpted chest, his toned core... 

“Jesus, Cas, what the hell?”

His eyes widened. “Is, um… something wrong?”

“You were hiding that from me and you didn’t even  _ say _ anything?!”

“Wha-” Darling cocked his head to the side, then he looked down at his torso and smiled, understanding. “Ah. Well, Dr. Ash, I’m not usually in the habit of stripping in front of my colleagues…”

You grappled for words, face hot, thighs squeezing together. “J-Just… warn a girl next time, for christ’s sake…”

His eyebrow quirked as he loosened his belt, metal links disconnecting from leather and hitting the carpeted floor with a muted  _ thud.  _ “Consider yourself warned, then.”

“What does that mea-  _ mmph-” _

You were cut off mid-sentence as his lips crashed into yours, his hands on your shoulders, pushing you back into the softness of the blankets below. His hands moved down, knuckles leaving sparks of sensation in their wake as they bunched in the fabric of your pants. You lifted your hips silently,  _ invitingly,  _ the sense of being exposed and vulnerable completely overridden by the electric sensation of his skin against yours.

He kissed your neck, the skin over your heart, and you felt a whoosh of excitement- this was happening, it was real and it was  _ happening-  _ as the faint bristle of his facial hair tickled the skin above your hips.

“Casper-”

“You know, there’s something about female physiology that’s always fascinated me.”

You looked down at him, eyes glazed, cheeks flushed. “Mm?”

“The fact that, regardless of the intentions of your partner, you’ve developed a way to feel pleasure all for yourself.”

His palms caressed the inside of your thighs.

“A hotline of sensation, with  _ thousands _ of nerve endings, and it’s all concentrated… right…”

You gasped, hips stuttering as two fingers pressed against the  _ hotline  _ in question.

“... here.”

Adrenaline jump-started your systems, lips quivering. You met his gaze. His eyes were dark with desire, the corners of his mouth upturned in the kind of smile that made you melt. The muscles in your legs tightened and squeezed as he massaged your clit slowly,  _ luxuriating _ in your reactions.

You were his own personal experiment, and he was loving every minute of it.

“Easy,” he said quietly, seemingly oblivious to the whimpers coming from you, “we’re just getting started.”

He was right. Adrenaline  _ was  _ a powerful influence.

The same man who’d analyzed every segment of the multidimensional resonance in the Bureau, whose delicate touch you’d seen applied to countless electronics and careful experiments in the lab, was completely focused on  _ you.  _

His fingers slipped inside you expertly, the pad of his thumb still massaging your clit steadily as pressure built in your core. You let your head fall back against the blankets, head spinning, unable to focus on anything except the perfect rhythm of his movements. You never would have thought that someone so caught up in the monotony of research would be  _ this _ good.

Then again, he’d had a lot of practice in studying reactions with a steady hand, so maybe he was perfect for this.

When his hand braced your abdomen to keep you steady, your heart grew cold, expecting him to remove his fingers and leave you empty and wanting. 

What you  _ weren’t _ expecting was the sudden warmth of his tongue brushing against your clit.

You shuddered, the new sensation catching you off-guard, and instinctively grabbed a fistful of his salt-and-pepper hair to ground yourself. His tongue was gliding across your slit, fingers fucking you more forcefully, a low rumble at the back of his throat rumbling against you. “Please,” you gasped, silently begging him to relieve the pressure. To finish what he’d started.

His lips curled into a smile against you as you firmly held his head in place, muscles clenching, your core tightening almost to a breaking point. Wordless noises tumbled from your mouth as your eyelids fluttered, time slowing, his encouraging groans fading into a hum of resonance that thrummed deep in you. A lasting note, strung to the breaking point. 

Your legs were trembling, alive with electric tingles of sensation as you basked in the afterglow.

Darling didn’t pull back until long after you’d finished, leaving a mess that pooled on the blankets and dripped down his chin.

“Now- tell me honestly- am I as rusty at that as I think I am?”

He propped himself on top of you, muscles in his arms flexing as they locked on each side of your head. You gazed up at him, admiring the orange glow of the sunset as it haloed his hair.

“What kind of a question is that after my reaction, Casper?” You managed, reaching up to trace his jawline with your knuckles. His eyes were so  _ deep, _ and they were completely focused on you. He shrugged.

“It’s just been a while, is all…” His shoulders clammed up as his head hung, pressing another one of his gentle kisses to your forehead. They made you feel so adored.

You opened your mouth to say something, but got caught off-guard when you felt the gentle bump of  _ something _ against your sweat-slick inner thigh. Casting a look downward, you saw that he’d managed to slip off the rest of his clothing while he was busy with you.

You  _ also  _ realized what had warranted the warning earlier.

“I think you enjoyed that enough for the both of us.” You murmured, looking back up at him. He gave you a lopsided smile, a shred of his characteristic awkwardness peeking through the glaze of lust in his eyes.

“If you need to rest, we don’t have to-”

You put a finger over his lips, shushing him as you had so many times before. “You aren’t getting out of this so easily, Darling.”

The air in the room was at a standstill, your mingling breaths and the faint hum of music from outside the only noises to be heard. 

“Are you sure?” He said quietly, needing to be  _ completely _ aware. He didn’t just want you to say yes- he wanted you to  _ need _ it. And you did. Badly. Every move of his seemed like a premeditated course to completely dismantle you.

And you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“Please, Casper.” You murmured, shivering,  _ dripping _ with anticipation. You reached down and spread your lips invitingly, breath slow and paced. The flicker of uncertainty had dimmed from his eyes, replaced with an adoring hunger that you felt deep in your core.

One of his hands reached up to brush a lock of hair out of your face and he pressed his lips to your forehead, his favorite gesture, and you felt the rumble of his muffled moan as he rolled his hips…

And slid inside you with a gentle ease.

Your breath stuttered, arms locking around his neck as you squirmed in place. He went slowly, your wetness offering no resistance, the muscles in his upper body tensing as he gasped. Your name dripped from his lips slowly. 

A tremor shook the hair that hung loosely over his eyes as he set a slow, concise rhythm. He watched you with so much intensity, attentive to your every response, as if he was internally recording every little thing that drove you crazy. His pace increased, your nails raking across the warm firmness of his back.

You felt his arms tremble as he dropped down to prop himself up on his elbows, one hand cradling the back of your neck, the other interlacing its fingers with yours. There was something so deliciously intimate about the way he held you, keeping you safely in place, making sure every movement and thrust was exactly where it needed to be. Your head spun. 

And as he hit that spot inside you that made you see stars, he groaned  _ so hard _ to feel you tighten around him…

“Again..” you moaned breathlessly, legs hooking around his hips. You were totally lost in the sensation of his hips rolling against yours, the way each thrust had your head spinning. Your grip on rationality was slipping, unraveling under the effort of the only man you’d ever let pull you apart and put you back together.

And that’s what Darling was doing, piece by piece.

You arched into him, gasping as he trailed his lips longingly up your neck to kiss behind your ear. “You feel…  _ incredible.” _ He gasped, his voice husky, barely above a whisper.

Blood rushed to your head, rang in your ears, the vibration of your pleasure harmonizing with the stifled mewls escaping your lips. You felt your core tightening in pulsing grips, all other sensations melting away except for the electric tingling of your skin, flush with his. 

His eyes, when they found yours, were closer and more intense than any others you’d ever met. “I… I love…” A low grunt came from him as he  _ pushed  _ into you, stretching you open. Making you  _ his. _ “I’m almost-” He gasped, cutting himself off by biting his lip. You nodded, gaze locked with his, the light that filled the room in shafts twisting into stars as blood pounded in your ears.

“Me too… I’m... “ You gasped, unable to finish as you felt every muscle in your body tense. His hips stuttered as he moaned your name urgently, desperately, drinking in every sensation.

You gasped, head thrown back, jaw slack as the thrum of your ecstasy finally parted you and left your nerve endings alive with pleasure. “Casper-” You cried out, nails sinking into his skin,  _ everything _ flooding into you and leaving you prone. Vulnerable. 

The feeling stretched to the breaking point, tense, before breaking as both of you relaxed. Darling collapsed into the bed beside you, hand resting gently over your heart, panting.

For several moments, you watched the dust motes float through the shafts of sunlight as you two came back from the brink.

Eventually you rolled over, slinging an arm around him and letting your head rest on his chest. His heartbeat was rabbit-quick, but steadily slowing as he breathed in deeply and idly played with your hair. It was enough to bask in the safe afterglow, but you looked up at him, chin resting on his sternum.

“Worth running away from the lab?”

He looked down at you, blinked, and then laughed heartily. A genuine, happy laugh that made your insides warm. “Very,  _ very  _ worth running away from the lab.”

You braced your arms on either side of his torso and pulled yourself up, the tip of your nose brushing his, and gave him a soft kiss. He felt so warm, so safe- your heart was full almost to bursting. You were scared to ruin the moment with any words, but much to your surprise, he took the risk first.

“I love you.”

When he told you that he loved you for the first time, you had expected to feel the customary butterflies, or that whooshing feeling you’d grown accustomed to, but neither were so intense. Instead, you just felt a satisfied familiarity settle inside you.

You knew Darling loved you. You always had.

“I love you too, Casper.” You murmured softly, nuzzling the bridge of your nose into the crook of his neck and closing your eyes, just taking the moment in. His fingers traced languidly up and down your spine, breaths deep and slow.

“Do you always want to stay in the Bureau?” He asked, hesitantly.

Your eyes opened slowly and you pondered the question, tracing circles on his chest. “I always assumed I would… I’ve never had anywhere else to go, I guess. Why do you ask?”

He was silent for a moment, mulling over his answer. At length, he continued, speaking more cautiously than you were used to. “I won’t… be the Head of Research forever. I know one day I’ll probably leave the position, even though it’s hard to admit…”

As he trailed off, you propped yourself up on your elbow, cheek resting in your hand as you stared down at him. His eyes were distant. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is… if we leave the Bureau someday, do you think there’s a future for us?”

His shyness had returned with a vengeance. It was adorable. You smiled and brushed a few stray locks of hair from his face, letting your fingers trace his jawline. 

“I’ll go wherever you go.” You answered, truthfully.

The remaining hours passed in a gentle, affectionate haze. The sunset light never faded, even after the two of you had been there far longer than either had anticipated. You realized, as you exchanged kisses and sweet nothings, that Casper Darling had somehow become the most important person in your life. And when you finally curled up in his warm embrace and let yourself get some well-needed sleep, that you wouldn't have had it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because you KNOW Casper Darling knows where the clit is.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed, see you soon for the next installment. <3


	8. Damning Evidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back to our regularly-scheduled plot! If you skipped the NSFW chapter, you really didn't miss much by way of story. Lessgo

_“What makes you think you’ll ever leave the Bureau?”_

_You woke up in Darling’s office- though, as you blinked several times and looked around the room, you realized the decor was different. This was the office of the Head of Research, but it didn’t belong to your lover. It belonged to your father._

_He cleared his throat, and you snapped to attention. Dr. Theodore Ash Jr. sat across the desk from you, hands clasped and resting on his desk. His face was clouded in darkness. The only illumination was a sourceless red light coming from somewhere behind you, casting ghastly shadows across the room. You shivered as he addressed you again, your name bitter on his tongue._

_“I said, what makes you think you’ll ever leave the Bureau?”_

_“Dad…” you muttered, trying to get up from your seat. Your wrists met a cold resistance- as you looked down, you realized with a creeping horror that you were shackled to the chair. Thick metal cuffs wrapped around your wrists and ankles. “What the-”_

_When you looked back up, you saw your surroundings had changed. The shadowy imitation of your father was gone. You weren’t in his office anymore, either- you were in Dylan Faden’s containment cell. The red light had been replaced with a harsh, white, clinical light. You blinked, pupils constricting and a painful throb rippling over your forehead. Your vision slowly adjusted to see a panel of staunch-looking figures in lab coats sitting behind an observation table._

_Dr. Darling was one of them._

_“Casper-” you exclaimed, straining against the cuffs. “What is this? What’s going on?”_

_“Subject is presenting with signs of stress,” he said quietly to the shadowy-faced colleague beside him. “Make sure to adjust her medication levels.”_

_“Let me out!” Your tone turned threateningly desperate, heart sinking. “This is a mistake! There’s nothing wrong with me!”_

_“Miss Ash,” Darling interjected, removing his glasses and sighing with exasperation, “We’ve done this dance before. Don’t you remember what happened last time we removed your restraints?”_

_“Wha-” You looked down at yourself, gorge rising as you saw your FBC-issued gray tracksuit, emblazoned with a large_ P5 _, splattered with blood. Your father lay at your feet, neck grotesquely twisted, a harsh white splintering of bone jutting from the torn skin. His eyes were wide and stared into nothing. You began to hyperventilate, pulling against your cuffs, looking back up at the table._

_Director Trench sat among the scientists, hands clasped, face shadowy in the harsh light. He gave you a manic, cruel grin. “You’ll never leave.”_

_When you looked back down at your feet, the twisted, agonized corpse of your father had been replaced with Darling. You screamed as he stared blankly up at the ceiling, blood droplets sprayed across his ghastly pale face. Trench began to laugh, your name poison on his lips._

_“The thunder song distorts you.”_

~*~

You sat up with a jerk, strangled gasp caught in your throat. The horrible sensation of bile rising up into the back of your mouth made you wince, and you took several deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. You were back in your office- you assumed you’d fallen asleep after you and Darling had returned from your Oceanview tryst the night before.

The memory of Darling made your stomach flutter, but it was lost in the unsettling shivers that remained from your nightmare. “Christ…” you murmured, rubbing the corners of your closed eyes, sending sparks shooting across your occluded vision.

It took several seconds of deep breaths for you to register the knocking on your office door- polite, yet insistent. It must have been what woke you up in the first place. You shook the remaining sleep out of your head and pulled out a cigarette from your shirt pocket, going through the motions, before you called out, “Come in.”

You idly wondered if you had some faint clairvoyance as the door opened, and Zachariah Trench walked in.

“Good morning, Dr. Ash.” He said pleasantly, an attempted smile on his face, seemingly oblivious to your shock. You took a long, slow inhale, getting your bearings.

“Zach. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

He strolled casually around the room, hands clasped behind his back. You felt an idle embarrassment at the state of the place- but he’d known you since you were a toddler, he knew you could be messy. At length, he finally spoke.

“Seems like you’re adapting to your new position well. You’re very much like your father in that way.”

‘Here we go.’ You thought, fighting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Neither of us are in the habit of beating around the bush, Zach. What could possibly compel you to venture this far from your crow’s nest?” You blew a thin trail of smoke, eyeing him carefully.

There was a flicker of bemusement in his expression as he sat down in the chair across from you, pulling out a cigarette of his own. You wordlessly passed him your lighter and watched as he took a calculated first drag, flame sizzling at the tip, and exhaled through his nose.

“I suppose you’re right about that. I want to ask you about your work with Dr. Darling.”

Your stomach lurched at the mention of your lover’s name. Did he know?

“Things are fine,” you said offhandedly, overly aware of your body language. “I’m sure you’re aware of our progress on the large-scale Hedron Resonance Amplifier in Dimensional Research.”

“Ah. Yes. Hedron.” He sat back in his chair, spine rigid, staring at you with his strangely-hooded eyes. Despite holding the role of an uncle figure, he’d recently started giving you the creeps for some reason. “I wanted to ask you about that. What exactly is the current project accomplishing?”

You shrugged, breathing in more smoke. The nicotine lit your senses, one by one. “I’m not exactly sure. That would be a question for Cas- er, Dr. Darling. All I know are my budget parameters and how to scale up the original design. As you can see, it’s rather complicated.” Gesturing around the room at your numerous notes and schematics, you continued. “Of course, we’ll have it done within the next few days.”

Suddenly, you noticed something when you looked back at Trench. Something that had been nagging at you since he walked in- that you’d had trouble putting your finger on.

“Zachariah, why aren’t you wearing an HRA?”

“Oh. That.” He chuckled, his voice not betraying a hint of humor. “It wrinkles my vest.”

“Be serious.” You leaned forward, elbows propped on your desk, eyes hard. “I designed them myself and made it _mandatory_ that every employee of the Bureau wear them. You’re setting a bad example for your flock.”

He sighed deeply, adjusting his glasses. “Dr. Ash,” he began, “I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but you must be aware by now that there aren’t many people in my _flock_ that I can trust.” There was something behind his eyes- a strain, as if he was afraid. It was unlike him in a way that sent shivers down your spine.

“Well, you know you can trust me, Zach. All these years are more than just water under a bridge.”

“Which is why I came to you first.” He sat forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, looking for all the world like a man about to ask you for a favor. You braced yourself.

“Pull back the HRAs.”

“What?!” You exclaimed, snatching your cigarette from your lips. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “That’s- why the hell would I even consider that?”

Trench’s familiar, gravelly voice was uncharacteristically hesitant. “You’re one of the only people I can rely on to help clean up my messes. I’m the Director, but still… you, Darling, Marshall, Tommasi… you all know the Bureau as well as I do. Maybe better.” He paused to take a drag from his cigarette. “I’ve been able to feel a… change, here in the Oldest House. A shift. Something is wrong, and it all started after Darling brought that damn thing from Slidescape-36 all those years ago.”

You felt your chest tensing, holding back all the things you wanted to say. Since when had he become so paranoid? And to come to _you,_ just to ask you something so ridiculous? It was… scary.

“There’s nothing remotely threatening about Hedron, Zachariah. It’s neutral- _benevolent,_ even- why would you start criticizing Darling’s actions now? The HRAs are shields from something else. Hedron isn’t the only thing that came through that projector, you know.”

Trench stood, towering over you. Never one to be imposed upon, you mirrored his movements, crossing your arms. He put his hands in his pockets. “Let me speak frankly. I believe that Hedron brings a threat. The amplification of its resonance is only making us vulnerable. I am asking you once- and once, only- to roll back HRA production permanently.” His voice betrayed no emotion. He was _completely_ serious.

Your nostrils flared as you internally weighed your options. 

“Why didn’t you go to Darling about this?”

“Because he’s _responsible_ for it.” The older man hissed, leaning forward and slamming both hands on your desk. You flinched. “Darling brought it _back._ I thought I could trust him. And it’s like you said,” a flicker of a smirk crossed his features, “all these years aren’t just water under a bridge, Dr. Ash.” He was trembling slightly, trying to hide his fear with anger. You’d definitely seen him do that before. 

“What, exactly, do you find threatening about Hedron that _no one else_ has?” You tried to keep your cool.

“I’ve felt it. Whispers. Like a needle drilling into my skull. Ever since that expedition they’ve gotten worse, and they’ve told me- over and over again- that Hedron is going to bring us our doom.” His voice shook. “Retribution for my… for our sins.”

He sounded completely unhinged. Was this the same man who had led the Bureau and been your confidante for so many years? A powerhouse of stability and leadership, who now leant on your desk, looking like he was fighting back tears?

It _scared_ you.

“Zachariah,” you started, but cut yourself off when his head snapped up. There was a flash of something behind his eyes, something… _sinister._

“If you don’t roll back the HRAs and shut this project down, I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.” He spoke firmly, the tremor in his voice gone. His teeth were slightly bared, yellowed from a lifetime of cigarettes and coffee, and you realized his eyes were bloodshot and exhausted. For just an instant, he looked positively feral.

Your hand twitched for the phone on your desk to call security, but who calls security on the Director? It dropped back to your side, and you took a calm drag of your cigarette, trying to ignore the quickening pulse in your ears.

“I’m sorry, but I’m too far into this to take it back now. I made a promise to Darling that I intend to keep.”

Trench _snarled._ He actually bared his teeth and snarled at you, one of his hands balling into a fist and coming down onto your desk with a bang.

“Why, because you’re fucking him?”

Time stopped. Your heart dropped into your stomach with a horrible sinking feeling. “How…” you started, but Trench straightened up, pleased to have found your weakness. The upper hand suited him. His lips curled into a smile.

“Very little gets past me, Dr. Ash. You think I haven’t watched the two of you since day one of your joining his little _project?”_ His cigarette had burned almost completely to the filter, but he seemed oblivious. “I expected better of you. Letting your own feelings get in the way of your service to the Bureau.”

You gripped onto the back of your chair for stability, feeling like the room was crumbling around you. This would be the end. The end of your career, of your reputation in the FBC, of… _everything._

Well. Almost everything.

It took all of your strength for you to lift your chin, keeping yourself upright, and address Trench directly.

“My personal matters are none of your business, Zachariah. The HRA project continues its development. The rest of your management team are wearing HRAs, along with most of the Bureau itself, for their _own protection.”_ You stubbed your cigarette out in the ashtray on your desk, maintaining eye contact. He looked furious.

“I won’t take threats from you, or anyone. Now get out of my office before I call security.”

He scowled, snatching his cigarette from his lips and flicking it onto the floor of your office. Your gaze followed its trajectory, and watched as it singed a small hole in the carpet.

“Fine. It’ll be your career that suffers from this, Ash, not mine. You may be a longtime resident of the Bureau, but not even you could be the Director.” He slunk towards your door, shoulders tense. You watched him go with bated breath.

As he was about to leave, he glanced over his shoulder, hand on the doorknob. He said your first name, rolling it on his tongue bitterly.

“You are a worm through time.”

With his words, a flurry of images flashed across your mind, assaulting you with a stinging pain so intense and needle-sharp it set your teeth on edge. Hideous red splattered the edges of your vision, pulsing along the veins in your eyes with the keening shriek of metal against glass. A glimpse of Trench’s smile, and his horrifically distorted voice, directly in your ear. Worming into your brain viciously.

“The thunder song distorts you.”

And then he was gone, leaving you trembling behind your desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trench gives me the heebie jeebies so it was fun to write him being all scary.


	9. An Unseen Threat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay! Finals have been wild. Anyway, time for more of our favorite science husband!

Trembling, you latched onto the side of your desk, the jolt of your hand sending a stack of papers scattering across the floor. Clammy beads of sweat dotted your brow. “Fuck…” you muttered, piecing things together almost faster than your reeling mind was capable of. 

It was all clear. The other resonance- the threat that you had been harnessing Hedron’s power to protect everyone from- somehow, it was inside  _ Trench.  _ You had suspected its infection of Dylan Faden, but to think that a leader as powerful as the Director himself had been taken over…

You lurched for the door, choking sobs pushed down into the back of your throat. Trench was gone, with nothing but the smell of smoke left in his wake. Shivers ran down your spine to imagine him returning to his office to plan whatever threat he was intending for you.

You slammed your office door behind you, locking it, and set off for Darling’s office across the hall. ‘Please, please, please let him be in…” 

The sight of him bent over his work, brow furrowed and bowtie loose, almost made you weep with relief. Darling jumped when you slammed into the room, not even bothering to knock. His features creased into a smile, but instantly froze when he saw your disheveled state.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Casper-” you managed, gasping for air. The room seemed like it was devoid of oxygen all at once, and your head spun. The combination of panic and shock made spots sway in your vision. You didn’t realize your knees had buckled until Darling was by your side, his arms tight around your waist. 

“Sweetie, sweetie. Look at me.” His words were rushed, panicked, as he brushed your hair from your face carefully. “Take deep breaths, okay? I’ve got you.” 

You focused your trembling gaze on the older man, on the concern in his eyes making your heart wrench even further. It took several more minutes of him gently reassuring you and stroking your hair for you to come back to full awareness of your surroundings. Your heart rate felt like it was going a mile a minute, and your brain could barely keep up.

“What…”

“You had a panic attack.” Darling answered simply, gently shifting you until you were sitting upright. “A pretty intense one too, by the looks of it. What happened?”

You tried to shake the errant spots out of your vision, blinking hard. “Trench… I-I had a talk with Trench.”

“Why on earth would that warrant a panic attack?”

“Just listen,” you said hurriedly, unsure how to proceed. For all you knew, he was having the room monitored. Glancing around his office, you couldn’t see a thing- but that didn’t matter. The Bureau was sneaky. There had to be a recording device around somewhere. “I need paper and a pen.”

It was obvious based on his body language that Darling was worried you were on the verge of a mental break- but having been on that same verge himself in the past, he did as you asked. The tender concern in his eyes was heart-wrenching. You felt a pang of guilt in your core for being so abrupt with your panic, especially after the last couple days…

But there was no way you could keep any of this to yourself.

You scribbled on the provided paper before he could ask you any more questions. After several moments, you handed the message to him for a response.

_ “Trench asked me to put a stop to HRA development. He thinks Hedron is a malevolent entity and is going to cause the Bureau harm. He threatened my safety if I didn’t do as he asked. You have to believe me.” _

Darling’s expression as he read the note went through varying levels of shock, disbelief, and bemusement. Finally, his lips parted in a nervous smile and he said your name quietly. “If this is your idea of a joke-”

“No. Not a joke.” You hissed, gesturing for him to write down his response. As it dawned on him that you weren’t joking, his shoulders slumped, and his eyes glued themselves back to the note before he sank into a kneeling position alongside you and began writing a response. The paper slipped back into your hands momentarily.

_ “How is that possible? Why does he think Hedron is a threat?” _

Your response was immediate.

_ “He says there’s been a voice in his head telling him not to trust you or Hedron since the expedition into Slidescape-36. That it’s going to bring the Bureau’s downfall or something.” _

His expression darkened after you handed the note back to him. It was obvious that it wasn’t the first time he’d heard that. For several minutes, the pen scribbling on the pad of paper was the only noise in the room. Your eyes shifted about nervously, hoping it wasn’t in view of any cameras.

_ “He complained of headaches after we got back from the expedition. Like a ‘needle in his skull’. But his vitals were all fine.” _

Your stomach plummeted as you read the last line, and met Darling’s gaze. He looked just as nervous as you felt, like he was grasping for anything to hold onto, lest he get swept away by overthinking. You quickly wrote a response and passed it back to him.

_ “He said something else, too… something that I’ve been hearing in my dreams. Do the words,  _ ‘you are a worm through time’ _ mean anything to you?” _

Darling stared at the paper for a few seconds, before setting it aside and getting up from his position on the floor. You watched as he walked over to his impressive bookshelf, thumbing through rows of three-ring binders before picking one out and leafing through its contents. All the while, you felt the hairs on the back of your neck slowly standing up- it was almost like something else was in the room with you. How long had that feeling been there? Were you going crazy?

You glanced over your shoulder at the office door, but it was shut and locked. Was someone standing outside?

Darling’s hand on your shoulder made you jump slightly, and as you looked up at him, it was obvious he was feeling the same uneasiness you were. He held out the book he’d been looking through, pointing to a specific passage of text.

It was the transcript of an old interview with Dylan Faden- back when he was still in the Prime Candidate program. You started reading from the line he was pointing to.

~*~

Dr. Darling: Dylan, you’ve expressed some concern about your dreams lately. Would you care to elaborate on that?

Faden: They aren’t dreams, they’re  _ nightmares.  _ I haven’t had anything but nightmares since you trapped me here. I want to go home.

Dr. Darling: I promise, we’re just trying to help you. Tell me about the nightmares and maybe I can make them go away.

Faden: [hesitantly] I hear things. Whispers. They tell me that none of us are safe from that…  _ thing. _

Dr. Darling: What “thing”, Dylan?

Faden: The thing you brought back.  _ Hedron. _

Dr. Darling: You… hear about Hedron in your dreams?

Faden: It tells me that Hedron is bad… that you brought it back to hurt us. That you’re… [subject’s head twitches to the side, features contorted in discomfort.] You a worm through time.

Dr Darling: Dylan, I-

Faden: [Subject regains a neutral expression.] Please let me out, Dr. Darling. I want to go home.

~*~

Casper pulled the document away from you before you could read the rest. You sensed a shred of guilt in his expression as he scanned over the words one more time- unsavory memories of Dylan Faden- before snapping it shut. He used it as a surface to write another message to you.

_ “Whatever it is, it’s affecting both Faden and, apparently, Zachariah. Hedron has warned me of alternate resonance, but I never knew it could get this far.” _

As he sat back down beside you, the warmth of his shoulder pressing against yours, the two of you sat in silence for several minutes. You were tense, breaths still hitching in your throat. Being with Casper made you feel safer, but only so much. What if Trench’s threat extended to him, too? What if you’d wrecked everything by being too rash?

Your hands began to tremble again at the thought of anything happening to Casper, until he silently placed one of his hands over yours, your fingers interlacing. You looked up at him. He looked  _ haunted _ , dark shadows under his eyes and his brows tightly furrowed.

“It’s been communicating with me,” he murmured suddenly, his voice breaking the tense silence. “Hedron. It… was aware of another resonance in Slidescape-36. Something terrifying.” His demeanor had completely changed. It scared you.

“Do you think…”

“Yes.” Casper responded tiredly, removing his glasses and rubbing his dry eyes. You squeezed his hand. There was something inexplicable that had always linked you both- some kind of unspoken understanding of one another’s work, expectations, emotions. You knew how he felt without him having to say a word.

You let your head rest on his shoulder. He shifted, wrapping an arm around you, and the two of you just sat on the floor of his office in stunned, pensive silence.

Eventually, you were the one to speak up first.

“We have to talk to Dylan Faden.”

Beside you, Casper tensed. He’d been dreading that option, you could tell. You pressed on. “He obviously knows more about this resonance. We need to get answers from him before Trench can get in our way.”

“You shouldn’t have to. Dylan Faden was my cross to bear. He’ll probably be more likely to talk to me.”

Despite yourself, you smiled wryly. “You’ll need a human shield if you’re going to get within ten feet of the kid.”

He looked down at you, putting his glasses back on. “Excuse me, there are  _ plenty  _ of more qualified human shields in this department before I would risk putting you in harm’s way.”

The absurdity of his sudden humor made you laugh softly as you met his gaze. “Maybe we could convince Langston to stand in front of us while we ask the questions.”

You both shared a chuckle before lapsing into silence again, hands linked, letting any remaining words go unspoken. You glanced around the room, at the drawings of Hedron and messily-scribbled diagrams that covered the walls. You’d cleaned less than a week ago and his office was already a mess again. Obviously a sign that he had been obsessing over this more than you thought.

When you looked back at Casper, his gaze had gotten tight and worried again. 

“What are we going to do about Trench?” He said quietly, his teeth worrying at his lower lip. You felt a stir of nameless apprehension in your core and swallowed, eyes narrowing.

“I… don’t know. Watch our backs, for now. He was vague about the threats. I think he only intended for something to happen to me.” You said quietly. The hand holding yours squeezed tight.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“It’s just…” you sighed, letting your head rest on his shoulder again. The post-panic exhaustion was beginning to ebb into your senses, leaving you empty and tired. “He knows about us. He thinks I’m only protecting you because of personal reasons. But I  _ know _ the importance of getting this done.” You took a deep breath. “We’re going to finish what we started, Casper. I don’t care what Trench does to us.”

You felt Casper’s breath hitch at your first sentence. He squirmed uncomfortably- you didn’t blame him. It wasn’t the most reassuring pep talk. You didn’t let up.

“We’re going to be okay. We’ll finish the full-scale HRA before anything happens. Getting fired is the least of our concerns.”

Your lover turned and pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, his voice low and serious. “I promise nothing is going to happen to you.”

You smiled and closed your eyes, letting yourself melt into his embrace. The feeling of his lips made your heart stutter and, despite the seriousness of the situation, the surge of glee you felt when he showed you affection warmed your insides. 

“Oh, Cas. If nothing’s happened to me yet, it’s safe to say I still have a solid run ahead of me.”

~*~

_ Your eyes opened. At first, all you could see was blackness. Any attempts to wave your hand in front of your face were met with a chilling lack of vision. It wasn’t just dark- it was  _ nothing.

_ Somewhere in the void ahead of you, you could hear the far-off rumbling of something huge. It sounded like a giant machine, churning away. You walked toward it, eyes scanning the pitch blackness, phantom shapes already swirling in the corners of your vision. _

_ It came out of the dark, huge and nameless. A faint pillar of red light, shifting and crackling with energy, and under which were five pillars. They splayed out under the red sky like a hand, reaching for the heavens.  _

_ You squinted. It wasn’t a hand. It was a  _ star. _ All five points were an equidistant space apart from one another, and as you traced the shape of a pentagram, you let your finger follow the last point on the star… _

_ And turned around. _

_ A shaft of light had appeared behind you, tall and straight. The red clouds churned violently around it, angry, like they knew it wasn’t supposed to be there. You walked toward it. The light stung your eyes and you shielded your face with your hand, trying to see beyond the blinding glimmer. As you got closer, though, you began to make out unfocused shapes beyond. Maroon lightning streaked across the sky above you, making you flinch, and when you looked back at the light, you saw it for what it was- a door. _

_ Zachariah Trench stood on the other side. _

_ Your face burned with fury, hands balling into fists as you marched toward him.  _ “Zachariah!”  _ you screamed, voice buffeted by the strong winds. He made eye contact with you and smiled cruelly, sending a chill down your spine. There was something clutched in his right hand… something small and flat. _

_ You blinked, and the scene was gone. You weren’t in Slidescape-36 anymore, you were somewhere… else. An oddly-shaped room, vibrating with low resonance. It shook your bones and made your ears ring, and you sank to your knees, hands pressed to your head. You wanted it to stop. “Please,” you whimpered, words drowned out by the hum, “get me out!” _

_ There was a small window near the bottom of the chamber and you scrambled toward it on all fours. Nondescript figures were standing under it, clipboards in hand, and you could see their lips moving as you pounded on the glass. “Let me out! It’s Dr. Ash! Please, help me!” _

_ Another figure joined them- Casper. Your voice withered as he read over some information on a sheet of paper and looked up, directly into the window that you were peeking from. You tried to yell, but your voice was drowned out by the resonance. He nodded and walked out of sight. Your panic rose to a fever pitch as you banged on the glass harder, tears squeezing their way out of your eyes.  _

_ Unsure of what to do, you slumped back and looked around your prison. The shape, the way it was suspended, looked very familiar… _

_ Wait. _

_ The shape. The resonance. _

_ You were  _ inside  _ Hedron. _

_ A weak cry escaped your lips and you squeezed your eyes shut, desperate for an escape, when _

~*~

you opened them, back in Casper’s office.

Skin clammy and chest heaving, you scrambled into an upright position, stopped only by the resistance of Casper’s head resting on your shoulder. So the two of you had fallen asleep on the floor of his office…

You tried to calm your breathing, looking around the room. All the drawings of Hedron stared balefully back at you, offering no explanation. What on earth  _ was  _ that? You had never ventured on any of the expeditions to Slidescape-36, you had no way of knowing what it looked like. And being trapped inside of Hedron… you knew there wasn’t any way inside of the structure.

Right?

A stifled snore made you jump again, this time glancing down at Casper. His glasses were askew, hair mussed, and you watched as he shifted slightly to make himself more comfortable against you.  _ ‘Heavy sleeper.’ _ you thought, the image calming you somewhat.

You pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, making his eyelids flutter. He murmured something unintelligible, snorted, and then slowly opened his eyes.

“Wha…”

He blinked, looking around, and turned his gaze to you. His cheeks immediately turned pink. “Did we fall asleep?”

“Yeah.” You said tiredly, reaching over and straightening his collar. “I’d say you needed it.”

Casper adjusted his glasses with an embarrassed titter, sitting up straight. “I am  _ always  _ well-rested. You’re the one who needs to sleep more often, Button.” 

His pet name made your pulse flutter, and an uncharacteristic giggle escaped your lips as you stood up slowly. “Looks like we slept enough. We have work to do.”

An adorably childish groan of disgust came from your lover. “Can’t we sleep longer? I really don’t want to think about the fact that we’re fucked and might get fired.”

“Avoid the inevitable on your own time, babe. Not an excuse to laze around.” You tugged him up into a standing position, wrapping your arms around his waist and kissing his cheek. “Besides, I don’t want to go back to sleep. I had some pretty fucked up nightmares.”

“Oh yeah? What about?” He delicately brushed your hair from your face. You shrugged noncommittally.

“Nothing in particular… say, uh, is there a way to get  _ inside _ Hedron?”

“What?” Casper yelped, frozen in surprise. “Uh- no, of course there isn’t. Why would you ask that?”

“Just thinking about it, I guess.”

On any other day, it would have been painfully obvious to you, the way he shifted uncomfortably and avoided eye contact. He was definitely hiding something. But you were just so tired and frazzled that it went right past you.

Instead, you pulled away from him and walked toward the double doors to his office. “C’mon, Cas. We have a former Prime Candidate to talk to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can possibly go wrong hahahaha


	10. Standing On The Edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the hiatus! Hope everyone had a good holiday season. Hope you missed spooks and scares and DILFs in lab coats.

“You look nervous.”

“I am absolutely not nervous.”

“You’re shaking.”

“Am I?”

You gestured to Casper’s hands, which had the faintest tremor to them as he fiddled with his collar. He pursed his lips and shoved them into his pockets instead, avoiding your eyes. “It’s just… it’s been a while since I’ve seen him. He probably won’t be very happy to see me again.”

“No kidding.” You bumped him gently with your shoulder, watching the column of floor numbers light up consecutively as the elevator went down. Beside you, the older man took another shaky breath and set his jaw. 

“You know he probably won’t be happy to see you, either.”

“As long as I bring you, it’ll be like Christmas came early for the little creep.” You responded darkly. The idea of Dylan Faden’s eyes on you again sent a cold shiver down your spine. His appearances in your visions had done little to assuage your growing anxiety. 

The elevator doors rolled open smoothly to reveal the lobby of the Containment Sector. Your eyes skirted around the unsettling, cold cement edges of the room. “God, I hate it here,” You whispered to Casper, who returned it with a small smirk.

“I do too.”

Langston met you both in the lobby, for once, looking shifty-eyed and nervous- so, in a word, like normal. “Rare to receive a visit from both heads of the Research Department.” You rolled your eyes, assuming he was being facetious, but Casper nodded very professionally with only the slightest hint of a nervous smile.

“Morning, Fred- er, Langston.” Out of the corner of your eye, you watched his hands fiddle aimlessly with one another. “I assume you got my message.”

“Yeah, I did. Ah, Dr. Darling…” Langston sighed, shoulders suddenly heavy with an invisible burden. “You’re… aware of Faden’s current lockdown classification, correct? It’s been a long time since you graced us with your presence.” You cringed inwardly at his sarcasm. Casper nodded stiffly, unwilling to say anything else.

“Okay. Just making sure.” The frazzled-looking man pulled at his already-loosened tie, beads of sweat prominent on his forehead. “Follow me.”

The three of you were followed by eyes and whispers as you passed through Logistics, and even the guards assigned to the doorways of the sector craned their necks awkwardly to watch as you passed by. You found yourself inwardly wondering if Trench had already passed word to his associates that you and Casper had your heads on the chopping block. Any minute, you expected to hear shouts and scuffling boots followed by hands yanking your arms behind your back.

Langston’s defeated trudge didn’t make you feel any better. He looked like an executioner walking his charge to the gallows. Your stomach clenched as you felt the distinct, all-too-familiar rumbling of a far-off metallic monolith circling in place. The Panopticon was turning. You felt like you were going to be sick.

As your trio arrived at the large metal doors barring the Panopticon, Casper’s hand brushed against yours briefly. You glanced sidelong at him- he was trying to look brave, but he too had a worried crease in his brow. You didn’t have anything to lose, so while no one was looking, you grasped his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. He stroked his thumb gently over the back of your hand in return, taking a deep breath.

The door opened, and you let go of his hand. No turning back now.

As the metallic grind of the elevator carried you up to Dylan Faden’s containment chamber, your heartbeat grew from a panic to a frenzy. You spared a thought for your office, for the cup of coffee you’d left half-finished on your desk. In an absurd compulsion, you went for the front pocket of your lab coat. 

You’d left your cigarettes in there, too.

“Take these two to Faden’s cell,” Langston instructed the guards standing past the metal door. “I’ll be up in the observation deck. Have the team ready in case there’s an incident.” He looked back at you and Casper, swallowed dryly, and gave you both an abrupt nod.

“Good luck.”

Then he was gone, hustling away to safety while you felt like you were about to be escorted into your own grave. The enormous guard wordlessly led you and your lover to a familiar side chamber, giving you a brief once-over with something that looked like a metal detector. His steely eyes regarded you emotionlessly. Then he stepped back and pressed a button on the side of the wall, opening another metal door.

“Twenty minutes. We’ll be posted outside.”

As he backed out of the way of the door, you found yourself wondering if he had known the guard whose death you’d caused.

White flood lights cast an eerie alien glow on the glass walls of the cell. Your stomach churned as you locked eyes with Dylan Faden. He stood completely still in the corner of the room, smiling a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, his hands hanging limply by his sides.

“I don’t want to do this,” Casper whispered.

“We have to.” You responded, taking the first step forward into what you expected to be your last plane of existence. Cold sweat was running down your back in rivulets. 

You walked right into the cell. Casper hung back, just outside the glass door.

“Why doesn’t he come in?” Dylan asked you sweetly, in a tone that churned your insides. “I don’t bite.”

“I’m conducting these questions. Bringing Dr. Darling with me was just me obeying your request from last time.” You responded brusquely. _‘Don’t show him you’re scared,’_ your mind hissed, _‘Don’t show any emotion.’_

The boy made a whining sound, pathetic and small in the back of his throat, the deranged smile never leaving his face. “What a shame. I thought he would be happy to see how much taller I’ve gotten.” You felt like a prey animal, cowering under the steely gaze of a natural predator. 

Keep it together, Ash.

“Dylan,” you began, ignoring his statement, “The last time I was here, you told me that you were hearing voices. Whispers. I need to know what they say to you- where they come from. Does the phrase, ‘you are a worm through time’ mean anything to you?”

The teenager remained silent, his eyes never leaving yours. The corners of his mouth twitched. Aware you must have looked like a fool to anyone watching from the observation deck, you clenched your fists and tried again.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but this is vital to the safety of the Bureau. I need to know where the whispers are from and what they want. I need you to tell me what they’re saying to you.”

In a flash, Dylan’s smile disappeared. A small, uncharacteristic furrow appeared in his brow. You felt your chest swell- a breakthrough, at last?

“Wouldn’t you rather hear them for yourself?” He asked softly.

Your stomach sank. You wanted to flee, but determination- combined with no small amount of curiosity- kept you grounded. “Do they want to tell me what I need to know?”

“Yes.” His smile came back, but this time it was serene- sincere. The smile of someone who had no worries. “All of that and more. It gives answers- _real_ answers, not the falsehoods that he tries to push on people.”

“Who? Trench?”

“No.” Dylan said coldly. His gaze shifted to your right- to Casper. _“Him.”_

Footsteps echoed from the metal floor as Casper finally walked into the cell, holding his hand out. “Now, Dylan-”

Dylan looked back at you, his gaze cold. He had made his point to Casper. “These people lie to you, don’t they? They tell you that you’re _special,_ that you _contribute something_ to the Bureau’s research, but that’s a lie. You know that just as well as I do, don’t you, Dr. Ash?”

You felt Casper look at you and you flinched, fists clenched tight, looking away from him. “That’s-”

“But it can all go away, if you just let yourself succumb.” Dylan’s voice was on the edge of maniacal, his hands grasping at the empty air. “I am just a conduit for the answers you need. The real truth is on the other side.” 

“How do I get there?”

Dylan smiled. “Remove your HRA.” 

You heard a choked noise of panic from Darling. 

Your mouth went dry. You could feel your hands trembling at your sides. Your mind was desperate for a release, running itself in circles looking for an exit. All at once it came to you- there was no other escape from this cell. From the steely cold eyes of Dylan Faden.

Time slowed as you reached up, in a trance, and unclasped the back of your HRA.

All at once, it hit you. A dizzying bloom of growing crimson, swelling in a tide that made your vision curl in on itself. Pain blossomed out from your temples and surged inward, pulsing in an irregular rhythm.

A few seconds stretched into a lifetime as you realized the pulse was forming syllables. Words. The mantra you’d heard in your nightmares raced through your optic nerve with the horrific sliding of a razor across your eyeball. The very atoms of your self were being shaken loose, reconstructed, encasing your mind inside of a steel trap from which there was no escape.

Through the cacophony of noise and the hellacious sour red in your eyes, you could just barely see the form of something beautiful and horrible, beckoning you beyond the threshold. Your mouth moved wordlessly.

The thunder song distorts you.

As quickly as it started, it was over. Your mind sprang back into place with a lasting reverb, strung to the last note. The white floodlights came back. The glass walls of the cell reformed around you.

You were on your knees, gasping and panting, the tremble in your hands having grown into a full-blown shudder. Voices swam in the void, coming to you as if through water. You blinked- your eyes were dry- and tried to make sense of what you had come back to.

Guards were standing between you and Dylan Faden, trying to hold him back while he screamed incoherently. Strong hands were wrapped around your chest, securing your HRA, checking your pulse. You looked up- Casper’s face, eyes wide and furious, looking past you toward Dylan. Your ears were still ringing, and they felt wet.

You touched the side of your head with a shaking hand, and your fingers came away bloody.

“Casper,” you said hoarsely, your throat feeling like sandpaper. He looked down at you, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

“Stay still, sweetheart. You’re bleeding. We need a medical team.” He said, almost to himself, eyes widening. _“We need a medical team!”_ He repeated, shouting to the remaining guards beyond the door.

You barely had the energy to keep your eyes open, slowly becoming aware of the throbbing pain in your skull. Boots came thudding across the concrete floor toward you. Your gaze shifted past Casper and up into the dark observation booth. You saw no movement or sign of panic through the tinted glass. The last thing that caught your eye was the orange flare of a burning cigarette, its cruel glitter reflected in the glasses of its owner.

~*~

When you came to, you were laying on the small cot that Casper kept in his secondary office beside the Hedron containment chamber. It was dark- the only light came from the ambient glow of Hedron, suspended beyond the wall of glass through the doorway. You blinked several times and reached for your forehead- your fingers brushed against several layers of rough gauze. 

You felt like shit. It was like a combination of the world’s worst hangover and being hit by a car. As your hands roamed your torso for other injuries, you realized your HRA was strapped firmly to your chest. You also realized with a weeping sense of relief that someone had put your cigarettes back in your pocket.

In an attempt to clear your frazzled nerves, you pulled one out and lit it with your zippo, the warm flicker of the lighter’s flame a welcoming contrast to the chilling, watchful eye of Hedron.

“You know, you really should quit.”

Casper’s voice, low and nervous, came from the room beyond. He was standing in the observation chamber- you couldn’t tell at this distance if he was facing you, but you could make out the silhouette of his broad shoulders against the light beyond if you squinted. You sighed heavily and sat up, smoke trailing from your lips.

“Smoking or passing out?” You answered in a wry croak.

He trudged into the room, still backlit by the being’s glow, arms crossed. He’d taken his lab coat and sweater off and had his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows. Even in your addled and half-conscious state, you had to admire his toned forearms. He said your name quietly, leaning against the doorway. “This is serious. You could have gotten killed.”

“But I didn’t.” You said, again, fingers brushing your bandaged head. “If you’re going to yell at me for taking off my HRA, I-”

“No. I got that out of my system already.” He approached you and sat down heavily on the cot. His eyes were exhausted and bloodshot, the bags under them a worrying shade of purple. The knot of tension in your stomach tightened.

“What happened?”

“You…” he swallowed dryly, looking down at his hands. You realized there was blood on his shirt. “I’ve never seen anything like it. You were taken over by something else. Something inhuman. I watched you float about six or seven feet in the air- you almost broke your nose against the top of the cell.”

Your eyes narrowed. “I did?”

“And then,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard you, “you started saying things. It wasn’t _your_ voice, it was…”

“The alternate resonance.” You finished, putting one of your hands over his. “Casper, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“I think I do. It’s like the connection I have with Hedron. Something is trying to pull you to the other side… you, Zachariah, and Dylan.” Casper squeezed your hand, his eyes never leaving the ground. “I managed to pull you down, get your HRA back on, but you hit your head pretty hard when you fell back onto the floor. Dylan almost went mad with rage.” Calmly taking off his glasses, he massaged the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezing shut. He sounded so… _tired._

For several minutes, the only sound was the faint rumbling of Hedron’s resonance. It was usually soothing, but this time it just made your shoulders tense. You absentmindedly tapped ash onto the floor. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re so close to finishing the large-scale HRA, and then… and then…” he trailed off, eyes finding you in the dim light. There was so much fear behind them it made your heart wrench. “... I don’t think we’ll need to worry after that.”

His resigned voice set off alarm bells in your head. It sounded like he was _giving up._ “What are you talking about? How on earth are you so sure the HRAs are going to keep us safe from that? If it came back from Slidescape-36… _whatever it is,_ we need to make sure it won’t take people over the same way it did me.”

“Hedron will have all the answers.” He responded hollowly. Almost as if he was talking to himself.

It didn’t make any sense. Here was a threat that could destroy the Bureau, or possibly more, and he was putting all his trust in a being that came from the same place that had almost killed you?

Your head throbbed and you hissed, putting a hand to your temple. Casper narrowed his eyes and sat up, inspecting your bandages. “Shit. You need to be careful, we don’t want to reopen the wound. You should lay back down.”

“Stay with me,” you protested weakly. Your lover just shook his head and took you by your shoulders, laying you on your back gently.

“I can’t. I have business to take care of.”

“Casper…” you started to argue, but he brushed your hair from your face and gently kissed your forehead.

"Wait-" You grabbed his sleeve, keeping him at eye level. "Before I passed out, I saw... at least, I thought... was Zachariah up in the observation deck? Did he see?"

Casper's brow furrowed. "No, he wasn't anywhere near Containment. Langston was the only one up there."

You stammered softly, trying to make sense of it all, but he just attempted another smile and pulled your hand away. “I love you. Try to get some more sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Your eyelids were already getting heavy as you watched him walk back into the observation room quietly, like a ghost. Something was very wrong, but you couldn’t quite… put your finger on it…

You faded back into slumber under the gentle rumble of Hedron and the soft, steady mutter of Casper talking to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dudley Dursley voice* "Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?"


	11. Time's Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be updating pretty regularly until this thing is finished. Thanks so much for the kudos and kind comments so far!

You’d never felt a better sense of relief in your life than when the last bolt was finally secured in place.

“How’s that, Dr. Ash?” One of the supervisors called to you from below. You gave two thumbs-up, face split into a wide grin. 

“That’s perfect! I’ll start notifying the other sectors, you boys get this place cleaned up! And remember to avoid the-”

“Avoid the sand, yeah, yeah.” The man in the hard hat rolled his eyes, turning around to begin redirecting his team. You crossed your arms, chest swelling with the pride that came from accomplishment. A project that should have taken months to complete, and you’d gotten it finished in just a matter of weeks. Not too shabby for someone who’d only held her position for a little over two months.

The familiar sounds of shouting workers and heavy machinery started back up as the construction team began packing up their tools. You took one last, proud look at the HRA. It was large-scale, alright- the thing was practically the size of a small building. You’d almost depleted the available Black Rock supply getting the disk put together, and recruited a small army of low-stakes research assistants to help you wire the thing. It had been no easy process, especially on top of nursing your concussion for the past few days, but the final results were nothing short of breathtaking.

You checked your watch on the walk back to your office. Not too late. You probably had enough time to catch some shuteye before meeting up with Casper.

Ugh, Casper. You felt your lip involuntarily curl as you thought about the last couple of days. He had been in contact with your construction team off and on just to make sure they were assembling the HRA correctly, but aside from that, you’d barely heard from him at all. Most of the other department officials were keeping their distance, as well. Your thoughts drifted to a conversation you’d had with Emily the day prior.

_“Dr. Darling? No, I haven’t really been hearing much from him. Do you know if he’s alright?” The concern in her voice was palpable. You felt an odd twinge of jealousy._

_“I have no clue. He’s just been holing himself up in his office for days on end.” You tried to keep your voice calm and not make it obvious, how worried you were. She just smiled and patted your shoulder gently._

_“You know his phases. I think he’ll brighten right up if you drop in with a cup of coffee. He seems to like you, anyway- maybe a little more than you think!”_

_You smirked. “Yeah. Maybe.”_

The conversation had been awkward- but then, every conversation with Emily was awkward. You had trouble keeping up with her enthusiasm. Idly realizing that your shoulders had taken on their customary tired slouch, you stood up straighter and tapped a cigarette from your coat pocket, eager for your small reward. 

As you turned the corner to your office, something down the stairwell caught your eye. It was normal to see people talking to the plants in Research, but this woman was just… standing there, staring up at the two fir trees that rose up through the center of the room. Her neck was craned at an odd angle and she was completely still. Her lips were moving, but she was speaking too quietly for you to hear.

You watched her for a couple seconds before shrugging and continuing to your office door. Sleep deprivation did weird things to people. Maybe she was just getting finished with a long shift.

If you’d looked a little longer, you would have seen her feet, levitating a few inches off the floor. And the fact that she wasn’t wearing an HRA.

Your office was a warm welcome in and of itself. Weeks of HRA prep had taken their toll on the surroundings- schematics and Hedron diagrams littered your walls, loose circuit boards and unfinished paperwork lay scattered across your desk, and you’d collected quite the impressive array of coffee mugs. You could hear your father’s voice scolding you in your head: _“A messy office is the sign of dedicated research!”_ \- and a small smile creased your lips.

You tapped your cigarette out into the bristling ashtray on your desk before going to your liquor cabinet and pouring a shot of bourbon. “To Hedron,” you muttered to yourself, slugging it back and letting the amber liquid burn your throat.

It was the little things that kept you sane.

The muffled sounds of raised voices came from outside, echoing from the stairwell. You looked over your shoulder- your blinds were drawn- and briefly considered going outside to see what was going on. It sounded like another intern being scolded. Nothing to worry about.

Checking your watch again, you pursed your lips. You really _needed_ to call Casper… but you’d also spent all night finalizing the HRA, and you felt like you were a dead woman walking. Just a thirty minute nap and you’d be right as rain.

Your tired feet carried you to your desk and you sat down in your chair heavily, head throbbing, eyes already closing as you tilted your chair back. Just thirty minutes… that was all…

~*~

_“Dr. Ash!”_

You snapped awake, knees whacking against the bottom of your desk painfully as you were yanked from slumber. Your office was completely dark. How long had you been asleep? “Who said that?” You gasped, voice small and afraid.

The office was silent for a few seconds. You wondered if maybe you’d just imagined it. A fragment of a dream, transferred into the waking world. Before you had time to get up, a _pressure_ suddenly pushed on the inside of your skull. It pressed in on your ears with a tangible weight that made you wince. At the same time, a swirl of kaleidoscopic light churned the air in front of your eyes. Like someone had shone a flashlight directly in your face, leaving harsh echoes in the afterimage.

You snapped your fingers next to your ear. There was a strange muffled quality to the noise. 

The resonance pushed in on your ears again, sending you surging upright out of your seat. “What are you? What is this?” You felt your pulse quickening, sending blood rushing in your ears. The gash on your head throbbed painfully. The light just spun again, turning in on itself in concentric circles. You had an absurd sense of deja vu- like you’d seen it before.

“Wait…” You blinked, watching the stutter of the afterimage trace the inside of your eyelids. You’d definitely felt this before. “Are you… Hedron?”

There was a gentle release of the pressure, like a nod. “So you’re what’s been talking to Casper?” It pressed and released again, almost… _impatient._

It took you several seconds to realize the circles of light were shrinking, tightening around the door of your office. You hesitated, uncertain, glancing sidelong at one of the many schematics of Hedron that were pinned to your office wall. It didn’t look like this. What the hell was going on?

“What’s happening? Why are you communicating with me?”

It didn’t answer- instead, a flurry of images suddenly flickered in your mind, going off like flashbulbs, each fading in the afterglow.

You saw Trench, sitting at his desk. An oddly-shaped gun in his hand that you recognized as the Service Weapon twitched and shuddered. Casper’s office, completely empty. Hedron in its observation chamber. Trench, again, this time holding the Service Weapon to his head. The corridors of the Research Sector, twisted and warped as if something huge had bent them beyond repair. It was too fast to see clearly. You gasped, hand going to your forehead to steady yourself.

It was _warning_ you of something.

Without another word of protest, you set off after the strange light. It swirled past your door and into the hallway, all the while spinning and pressing in on your ears with its humming resonance. By now there was no doubt in your mind that this was Hedron. As you pushed the door open, you checked to make sure your HRA was secure.

The Research Sector was empty, the only sounds you could hear being far-off voices, murmuring too low for you to make out. You couldn’t see anyone else as you scanned the stairs and lower floor. Tension hung thick in the pregnant silence. Where had everyone gone? Your gaze followed the fir trees, up to the ceiling…

The woman you’d seen before was floating, face tilted to the ceiling, arms hanging limp at her sides.

You gasped and wrenched your head away, lips pursed, fists clenched. “What _is_ this?” You hissed between clenched teeth. Hedron said nothing, just beckoning you to the entrance of the Ashtray maze. You were slowly becoming aware of a dim tugging sensation, like silt on the bottom of the ocean, pulling at your feet at hands. Crimson pulsed at the edge of your vision. 

It- whatever it was- was trying to pull you away again, but your HRA was keeping you secure.

Your eyes drifted to the door of Casper’s office. Hedron sent a dizzyingly painful pulse through your head, forcing you to look back at the maze. 

_“Through here,”_ it was telling you, _“in Dimensional Research.”_

Shaking your head in an attempt to lessen the awful pressure, you ran through the unattended security station in front of the Ashtray Maze and skidded to a halt just beyond the threshold. The cigarette stood smoldering in its tray like it always did, but for some reason you felt as if the whole area was guarded against you… not wanting to let you through. “Please,” you begged Hedron, “are you absolutely _sure_ that’s where he is?”

The circles of light spun faster, and a flashbulb image of a frazzled-looking Casper lit up behind your eyes. He looked scared- _terrified-_ and you could tell by the familiar bluish glow that he was standing in the observation deck above Hedron. You could make out the far-off humming of its containment cell from here.

“Okay, okay. Just take me to him.”

Hedron began making your ears ring again, urging you on. You surged forward, cold sweat dripping down your back. ‘Please let him be okay. Please. Please.’ The internal begging of your thoughts dulled into a repeating mantra as you rounded each corner of the maze, doors folding in on themselves and walls shuttering out of your way. 

You could feel the tugging sensation even stronger now, whispers just out of your range of hearing. Your ears were ringing. Just a few more turns and you’d be there. Another step and you’d finally be able to make sure he was okay. Almost there. Almost-

_Bang._

A far-off gunshot shook the walls, and everything ground to a bone-shuddering halt. You froze, breath caught in your throat. The pressure released from your ears, and for just a second there was utter silence.

“... Hedron?” You asked quietly.

The walls shuddered, and began to warp with a horrific rending of cracking wood. You watched in shock as they stretched around you, groaning under the strain of the shifting timbers, and then snapped shut like a rubber band. The release in tension sent you flying back against one of the doors with a heavy-bodied _wham!_

You cried out as your head throbbed painfully, feeling warm blood from the newly-reopened wound seeping through your bandages. “Fuck- what the fuck-” you gasped. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of your lungs. You wheezed, struggling to your knees, and then into a shaky standing position. 

You were barely able to stand up all the way before the top of your head grazed the ceiling.

You were in a space that couldn’t have been bigger than five square feet. Icy panic gripped your chest as you touched the ceiling and _pushed._ There was no give. The patterned wallpaper stayed put. The only illumination was half of a light fixture, stuck in the wall as if half-rendered. You knelt and tried to push against the only remaining door on one of the walls. It didn’t budge.

“Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck.”_ Your mind was spinning as you kept pushing, then shoving, then banging against the walls with your bare fists. “FUCK! LET ME OUT! HEDRON!” You screamed hoarsely, breaths quickening as your pulse roared in your ears. The concentric circles, still in your line of vision, just spun helplessly. It couldn’t do anything.

You were trapped.

“HEDRON! CASPER! _SOMEONE!”_ You sobbed unevenly, pounding on the walls until your knuckles were bloody. “LET ME OUT! _PLEASE!”_

The patterned wallpaper stared back at you balefully. You screamed and kicked at the light fixture. It stayed completely solid. 

There was no way out.

You fell to your knees, trembling, breaths rushing in and out of you in half-finished gasps. You were going to die. You were going to die here.

“Please…” you begged to whatever was listening, “Just let me out… Let me get to Casper…”

Hedron sent another flashbulb vision behind your eyelids. Casper was opening a hatch of some sort, above a ladder. You didn’t recognize it. Another image- he crawled inside, letting it close underneath him. You rubbed your eyes and tried to focus. “I don’t understand,” you whimpered to Hedron, “where _is_ he? What’s happening?!”

The last vision you got was an image you’d seen a million times before. The containment cell for the resonant being, with it hanging in the center, bathed in the white floodlights.

The pressure pulsed weakly on your ears, and then the resonance diminished, leaving you utterly alone.

Understanding washed over you and left you cold. You thought back to a conversation you’d had with him a few days prior- before Dylan, before the HRA, before everything. 

_“… is there a way to get_ inside _Hedron?”_

_“No, of course there isn’t.”_

You remembered the way he’d shifted when he told you that. And how he couldn’t make eye contact with you.

Despair filled your lungs and choked your breath, leaving you a sobbing heap on the floor of your newfound prison. Casper had lied. He was in the containment cell, and he was never going to come out.

~*~

For how long you sat in that room, you couldn’t be sure. Time passed- enough that your watch eventually stopped- and yet you continued to wait. You slept unevenly. Sometimes you could hear far-off noises, like explosions, rumbling the walls. But after a while even those dulled into a faint white noise. You counted each line in the orange-and-blue wallpaper. You traced the contours in the door. You tried the knob hundreds- no, thousands of times.

And you waited. For a sound. A sign.

Time passed.

The walls would shudder occasionally, as if being pushed from the outside. But they never moved.

You stopped screaming after a while. Then you stopped speaking altogether. The sound of your own voice in such a contained space scared you.

You began to hear voices. They were soft and kind, and told you things would be okay. Sometimes you heard your father. Sometimes it was Zachariah. But most of the time, it was Casper.

You knew deep down that they weren’t real, though. Everyone was probably dead.

Time passed. How long had it been since Hedron spoke to you?

The voices turned into visions. Figures came out of the wallpaper and sat beside you. Casper stroked your hair and told you it would be alright. Zachariah scolded you for getting stuck. Emily talked to you about the Research Sector’s funding and shared menial gossip from the office. You just laid there and listened, trying to keep a grip on your rapidly-slipping sanity.

Time passed.

You were terribly thirsty. So much so that you could feel your tongue swelling up. You’d long since smoked all of your cigarettes and your stomach roared for sustenance. In one of your hazy moments of half-clarity, you realized that the Maze was probably keeping you alive. It owed you that much.

But it never dulled the horrific pain that starvation brought.

‘Let me die,’ you begged wordlessly, clawing at the unyielding wallpaper. Casper’s voice shushed you.

“You need to stay optimistic, baby. Someone will come.”

“I don’t want to live.” you responded quietly, curling up in a ball on the floor.

Ahti sighed heavily. “Nappula, it won’t be forever.”

“I don’t care.” you murmured, gnawing at your lower lip.

“Listen.” Ahti said again. His voice was louder than the rest. “Listen.”

“I won-” you began, but then you sat straight up. Your hands shook.

The rumbling- it was getting _closer._

“Take care of her, Nappula. She will help you.” Ahti’s gravelly voice came to you as if through water.

You blinked several times, trying to make sense of what you were seeing. The wallpaper- it was moving. _Actually moving._

Suddenly, with the grinding sound of shifting wood, the wall opened up. You blinked several times, trying to figure out if you were hallucinating. 

Light poured through the gap. The room shifted into a hallway- an _actual hallway._ The unyielding wall under you warped itself into a carpet that felt soft as clouds.

And beyond the threshold of the hallway stood a figure. A young woman with red hair.

You stood on unbearably shaky legs as your eyes adjusted to the light. The woman walked toward you, brandishing an unusual-looking gun. The Service Weapon. You stepped back with a startled cry, prompting her to slide it into a holster and hold her hands out. She was wearing headphones, with a familiar Walkman clipped to her belt. You could make out the faintest sounds of music blaring from the tinny speakers.

“Don’t be scared,” she said loudly over the sound of the music, “it’s okay. Ahti sent me. My name is Jesse Faden. I’m the new Director.”

“F… Faden…?” You murmured. 

“Are you Dr. Ash?”

“I…” you swayed, confused, and almost collapsed. Jesse rushed forward and caught you before you hit the ground, her brow furrowed with concern. 

“Whoa, hey. It’s okay. How long have you been here?”

You blinked several times, trying to make sense of what you were seeing. The concentric circles from before were spinning around her head, almost like a kaleidoscopic halo. Hedron knew her. _“You can trust her,”_ it said. _“It’s okay.”_

She helped you stand up, and you rubbed at your dry eyes with a nod. “Can you… tell me what’s happening?”

“Let’s get you out of here first,” she said brusquely, grabbing your hand. It was larger and rougher than you’d expected, and something about it made you feel safe. Protected.

As Jesse Faden pulled you through the maze with Hedron’s lights swirling above her head, you felt your heart surge with hope.

_Hang on, Casper._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WOULD DIE FOR JESSE FADEN THAT'S IT THAT'S THE TWEET


	12. One More Lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Jesse's in this now. Game spoilers begin here!

Your starved and sleep-deprived brain could only focus on one thing.

Jesse Faden’s hair.

The passing features of the Ashtray Maze were all too familiar to you, to the point where you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be able to set foot in it again, and the presence of another person was all you could focus on. You watched the passing light flicker through her red locks, spilling over her shoulders like a waterfall. It was a dazzling and welcome respite from the faded hotel surroundings. 

And it kept you from having to watch her mow down these… things that had suddenly started coming out of the walls.

They were hard to look at. At first glance, you’d assumed they were just security guards until they began shooting at you. The closer they got, the more you could see of the strange, vibrating aura around them- and their faces, skeletal and shrouded in some kind of red static that you couldn’t focus on too long before your ears began to ring. 

“What are those things?” You yelled to Jesse, unsure if she could hear you over the noise in her ears. She just glanced at you over her shoulder between shots and responded, “Hiss agents,” as if that was supposed to answer your question. You chalked it up to misinformation and just kept ducking every time you heard gunfire.

Jesse was protective, too. She shielded you from every blast, hurling away debris and gunfire as if you were the most precious thing in the world. She never let go of your hand, not once. As to not seem like a hindrance, you’d occasionally pick up a loose piece of timber or cement and hurl it at one of the creatures that were swarming you like rats. It only stunned them for a moment, but she’d always wheel around and nail the thing with a bullet before it had time to recover.

Then she’d shoot you a grin, as if it was some kind of game. It made you feel a little better.

You managed to get a good look at her gun. Sure enough, she was brandishing  _ the _ Service Weapon. You’d never seen it in person, but you’d researched it exhaustively. It had all the same characteristics- the way it changed between forms, the catastrophic damage it could do. It was humming with a chaotic energy that you could feel in your close proximity to it.

‘I guess she wasn’t lying about being the new Director.’

That wasn’t all, of course- her abilities far outweighed her brother’s, at least that you’d ever been witness to. She was launching things and levitating like she’d been a Prime Candidate her whole life. 

Of course, she  _ had-  _ but you weren’t sure if she knew that.

These thoughts kept you going as you watched her hair, hiding behind her, clinging to her hand as adrenaline pushed you through the maze. Your stomach tightened each time a bullet whistled by your ear. 

You were going to be fine. There was only one way through the maze.

When the two of you finally emerged on the other side, your hands had stopped trembling and the strength had finally fully returned to your legs. It was like escaping the maze had dulled the tolls that your imprisonment had taken- you felt more energetic, more alert. The Firebreak was such a welcome sight that tears immediately began prickling at your bloodshot eyes. Jesse tugged off her headphones and let go of your hand, coiling the cord around the Walkman as she looked you in the eye.

“Sorry we had to meet that way,” she said breathlessly, “but I don’t have much time, so I need you to tell me: what do you know about the Hiss?”

“The Hiss..?” your mind was still reeling from your unexpected rescue, and it took you a few seconds to register what she was talking about. “Oh. The alternate resonance, of course. I- I don’t know much. All I know is that it came from the same place that Hedron did. Casper-” your stomach clenched. “Casper said Hedron has all the answers.”

“Okay. Okay. I’m looking for the Slide Projector. Can you take me to it?” She asked, obviously doubting your sanity. You nodded and started leading her across the Firebreak, lacking the energy to give her any more information.

“Do you know what’s happening? Why did the Maze trap me? How did you become Director?”

“The Maze shut itself when the Bureau went on lockdown,” she said, talking over the heavy metallic grinding of the enormous doors. “I was only able to get through because Ahti gave me a key. I’m so sorry you were in there.” 

“That’s okay, I-” you hesitated, unsure what she had been told about you. There was a likelihood she didn’t know your history with the Bureau, who your father had been, your mutual inclusion in the Prime Candidate program. You decided to keep it close to the vest. “I have ways of getting through the maze. I should be happy it kept me safe.”

As the two of you crossed the threshold into Dimensional Research, she looked over her shoulder at you. “Director Trench is dead. The Board chose me to take over, apparently. It all happened kind of fast.”

“Zachariah…?” You said quietly, your stomach sinking as if it were made of lead. Even after the events of the last couple days… there was no way he was  _ dead.  _

Then you remembered the ‘bang’ that had snapped the Ashtray Maze shut. And how the Board decided to eliminate those who weren’t worthy to be Director. And if Zachariah was dead, then that meant… Casper…

Your stomach churned and you stumbled, tripping and falling to your knees with a gag caught in your throat.

Jesse slowed, turning around and kneeling beside you. “Are you okay?”

Your head snapped up, eyes wide, pulse racing. “Casper Darling. Do you know where he is?”

Recognition sparked in her eyes. “I… I don’t. I’m sorry. No one knows where he is, not even Emily.”

Your unexpected rescue was turning into a nightmare. “Okay… okay.” You took a few deep breaths and stood up. Your last vision… Casper was in the Hedron Containment Chamber. If no one knew where he was, that meant he must have stayed there during the lockdown. 

“Come on, follow me. It’s through here.”

As the two of you rushed through the door into Dimensional Research, the first thing that struck you was how…  _ dark _ the place was. Shadows loomed around every corner, creating a stark contrast against the fluorescent lights of the test chambers along the walls. Beyond the other threshold you could see the piles of red sand, brought over from Slidescape-36. 

It was quiet. Hedron had stopped rumbling.

You and Jesse crept through the corridor, her Service Weapon at the ready, and up into the large room where you’d finished the HRA only days before. Without anyone else, the silence and isolation pressed in on your ears. A shiver ran down your spine.

“There’s a stairwell over here,” you said, more to yourself than to Jesse, and then stopped in your tracks when you saw her standing still. “... Jesse?”

“There was a doorway here,” she said quietly, “the same one we found in Ordinary. The door you people opened.” When her eyes turned back to you, they were steely. Accusatory. “This ends here.”

A million emotions were running through you, but the most prominent sunk into your bones and left you feeling gutted. Guilt. “I agree.” You responded quietly, opening the door to the secondary stairwell. 

You both climbed up to the second floor, crossing the narrow threshold into the observation chamber above. Casper was close. You could feel it. “The Projector is contained here.” You pressed the button on the Slide Projector containment cell and watched the steel door roll open to reveal-

Nothing.

The pedestal was empty.

“God  _ damn  _ it, Casper…” you hissed, running a sweaty hand through your hair. Despite your worry, a small seed of doubt was beginning to sow itself in your mind. Was this all part of his plan? You knew he would never betray the Bureau, but if he had taken the Slide Projector somehow… Maybe to revisit Slidescape-36…

Jesse was already through the opposite doors, looking in vain for a clue to its disappearance. “Do you know where he could have taken it?” She yelled, voice muffled by the blackrock lining the walls. 

“I don’t know,” you said, trailing after her, “Let’s keep-”

Your voice died in your throat as you walked into the adjacent lab, where a wall of screens were showing one of Casper’s videos.

_ “The surface of Slide 36 shows deep wave marks…”  _ He carried on, gesturing with his hands, fiddling with his glasses, every little nervous mannerism that you’d fallen in love with washing over you and making your stomach drop. A small, sad sound came from your throat. You remembered helping him film these. Operating the cameras and giving him his queues.

~*~

_ “Just act natural,” you said, “Act like you’re explaining this to me. I’m just an innocent intern who knows nothing about Objects of Power. How would you explain it?” _

_ Casper chuckled, adjusting the prop projector so it was facing the camera. “I’d probably explain it to  _ you _ privately.” _

_ “Casper!” you exclaimed with a scandalized laugh, rolling your eyes. “Can’t you stay on track for the sake of the Research Sector? Think of all the young, impressionable recruits who will be looking to this video for guidance. That’s your motivation.” _

_ “Okay, okay.” He cleared his throat, looking straight at the camera and taking a deep breath. “How do I look?” _

_ “Like someone who just woke up.” Your tone was playful as you walked out from behind the camera, adjusting his bowtie and smoothing his hair. “Hmm… it won’t win you any oscars, but it’ll do.” _

_ Casper leaned down suddenly and pecked your cheek, a small smile on his face. “You make a great personal assistant.” _

_ “Anything for you, Dr. Darling.” You gave his hair one last adjustment, giving his cheek an affectionate pat, before returning to the camera and focusing it. “Okay, action!” _

~*~

Something caught in your throat and you turned away. What if the last time you ever saw him was through this screen?

No, you told yourself, he was okay. He had to be. “Jesse,” you said to the woman ahead of you, “Our research lab is upstairs. Maybe he moved it there.”

“Let’s both go.” She looked over her shoulder at you, eyes wide, obviously close to her goal. You still didn’t know why you were helping her, or if you could trust her, but if she could save Casper…

“C’mon.” You led her up the metal stairs, your steps echoing the uneven beating of your heart in your chest. The door pushed open with its old, familiar creak.

Casper’s office was dark. The sight of his messy scribbles on random pieces of paper, his half-made bed, the empty coffee mugs littering every surface, made your chest tighten again. All of his research… but no slide projector. “I don’t think it’s here, Jesse.”

“Something else is…” her voice sounded strangely tight, like she was excited about something. “What did you say you and Casper were researching?”

“Hedron.” Just the name sent shivers down your spine. “It’s… Casper found it through the Projector after they brought it back from Ordinary. It’s a…” your hands moved aimlessly through space. Frustrated that you couldn’t find your words, you huffed impatiently. “It’s a resonance-based life form. Its resonance is what the HRAs are projecting.”

“Where is it?” she asked excitedly. Her eyes had taken on a determined glimmer. You gestured for her to follow and walked into the observation deck, inputting your security code and slamming a fist against the button for the window shutters.

Jesse gasped beside you as they rolled open. “Hedron… it’s… you?” 

You looked sidelong at her. Her eyes were bright and full of recognition, hands covering her mouth. “You’re  _ here!” _

“Jesse, what are you-” you began, but she was barely listening. 

“I… I remember, from Ordinary.” She took a deep breath, like she was surfacing from underwater. “I thought I’d never see you again!” When she whirled around to face you, she looked almost  _ giddy. _

“I have to go down there. You… stay up here where it’s safe, Dr. Ash.”

“But I don’t-”

_ “Is there a way to get in?” _

You flinched back, a nameless shudder of apprehension constricting your throat. “There’s a… a large-scale HRA shielding the door… you have to- to take it down.”

“Of course! I- just, just  _ stay here!”  _ She said one last time, before turning and running for the stairwell. Your gaze followed after her-

And froze, when you saw the wall of screens on the opposite wall.

It was another one of Casper’s videos... but you didn’t recognize this one.

_ “I’m Dr. Casper Darling, and this… this is my final message.” _

You stepped toward it, heart hammering in your chest. He stood in front of the camera, stripped almost bare, his eyes wide and frightened. He had the same tremor in his voice that he’d had when he last spoke to you. 

_ “It’s not the end, but after this I… I won’t…” _

He wrung his hands, proceeding to explain what you already knew- his communication with Hedron, the source of the alternate resonance from Slidescape-36.

_ “Trench was… e-exposed to this other form. It will now spread.”  _ He took a deep breath. You stepped closer to the screen, almost close enough to touch it.  _ “I’ve done everything I can to stop it… the Hedron Resonance Amplifiers… I-I don’t know if it will make a difference.” _

He took off his glasses.  _ “I-I won’t be here when it happens.”  _ You felt your chest tighten, throat constricting. He looked at the camera, and the faintest trace of a sad smile crossed his lips as he said your name softly.  _ “I should have told you more.” _

“Casper.” you said quietly, a hand touching the screen. The crackling static sparked against your fingertips. Down below, you heard the first heavy, metallic thud of a bolt coming loose from the large-scale HRA.

He took another deep breath.

Thud.

_ “I’m being sent one more lesson.” _

Thud.

_ “Something… wonderful, I think.” _

Thud.

He walked out of the frame, and the camera cut out. You tried to grapple with the flurry of emotions you were feeling. It all had to mean something. The fact that he’d gone inside the Hedron containment chamber, why he thought he wasn’t going to come back out. There was no way anything could have gotten past your HRA. But if the Slide Projector had been taken by someone  _ else… _ someone who had full access to the Bureau and exposure to the alternate resonance…

They could let the Hiss in.

An enormous crash echoed from below. She’d made it through. Your bloodshot eyes widened as you realized what she was about to unleash. You whirled around and ran to the glass, banging your hands against it. 

_ “JESSE, NO!” _

The Hiss came surging through at full force, roaring in your ears with a screaming cacophony that drove you to your knees. Over the resonance and the voices, you could barely hear the sounds of gunfire below as Jesse began fighting back against the creatures that had begun swarming Hedron’s containment. You clamped your hands over your ears, trying to drown out the sound. It was impossible.

Flickers of red pulsed along your optic nerve, bringing with them the whispers of the familiar, beckoning voice. Like a needle being driven into your eardrum. You had to stop her, but you couldn’t even hear your own thoughts over the resonance that was worming its way into your brain. 

They were going to destroy her, and Hedron… and Casper. Everything that mattered to you, gone in a flash. You nearly screamed with the effort of getting to your feet, each word sending another blinding wave of pain through your skull. When you looked out the window again, your heart sank.

She’d made it to the top of the last blackrock pillar. “Jesse…” you muttered weakly, “You can’t… please…” The daggers behind your eyes were sending a river of tears flooding down your face. “Casper is…”

The last of the protective casing around Hedron came undone, and it crashed to the ground with an empty, shattering roar. You let out a choked gasp, too weak to scream.

The anchor around your chest gave way, and the pulsing red took over your vision completely. 

You are a  _ worm throu _ gh  **time.**

Casper was gone. 

T **he thun** **_der s_ ** _ ong distor t _ s you.

He was never coming back.

**H appin e** **_ss co_ ** _ mes. _

The man you loved was dead.

White pearls, but ye _llo w and redin the eye. Thr ough a mirror, inverted is ma de right. Leave your ins ides by the door._ ** _Pu_** **sh thefingers through the surface into the wet. You’ve always been the new you. You want** **this to be tr** ue. We standaround you while y ou dream. You can almost hear our words but you forget. This happens _more and more now. You gave us the ~~per mission in~~ your regulations. We wait in the stains. Th_ _e wo_ rd that describes this is ~~redacted~~. Repeat th e word. The name of t he sound. It resonatesinyour house. After the song, time for appl ause. Webuild you till nothing remains. The **egg cracks an** **d the truth will e mergeout of you. You are home. You remind us of home. You’ve taken your boss withyour boss withyou. All hai r must be eate n. Under the co nceptual reality behind this re ality you must want these waves to drag you away. After the song, time for applause. This cli** c hé isd ~~eath ou~~ t of time, brea king the first the secondthe third the fourth wal _l, the fift h wall, floor; nofloor: you fall! How do you sa y “insane”? Hurtsto be happ y. An earw_ _orm is_ a ~~tune~~ you can’t stop hummingin a dream: "Baby **babybaby, yeah." Just plastic. So safe and nothin g to worry about. Ha ha, f** **unny. The last eg g breaks n** ** _ow. The ho_** **_le in your room is a ~~hole in you~~. You came andwe let you in through the hole in you. You_** _ha ve always beenhere, the only child. A copy of a copy of a c opy. Orange pe el. The_ ~~picture~~ is you holdin g the **picture. W hen you hear this you willknow you’re i n new you. You wan t to listen. You want to ~~dr~~** ~~eam~~. Yo u want to smile. You wan t to hurt.

**You don’t want to be.**


	13. Take Control

“Jeez, can’t you do anything right?”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, gathering up the spilled stack of papers from the linoleum floor. A nameless man in a suit towered over you, hands crossed, stony features not betraying the slightest hint of kindness. 

“I don’t care who you are, when you work here, you do your job properly. With no mistakes. Is that clear?”

His teeth, stained an unattractive yellow, protruded from his curled lip. They were just begging for a good punch. You swallowed the urge like a stone, standing back up and straightening your pencil skirt with a free hand. “Crystal clear, sir.”

“Good.” He gave you one more surly up-down before stalking off, mug in hand, to join forces with the rest of the executive suits at their hive of desks. It was no wonder everyone on the executive floor was so crabby- you’d be crabby too if you had to stay chained in your cubicle and do paperwork all day. And the only place to take out one’s anger was on the poor, new intern. 

Bundling up your remaining armload of mail, you made your way to the Head of Research’s office. Last stop of the day, and always your favorite. Two staccato raps on the door were answered with a gruff, “Come in.”

You pushed it open, balancing the mail on your arm, and felt your stomach do somersaults. Dr. Casper Darling sat behind his desk, scribbling something onto a notary pad. “I brought your mail, Dr. Darling.”

“Mhm. Set it over there.” He didn’t even look at you, just gestured with his pen to the wire basket on the left side of his workstation. You dutifully set it down, giving him a sidelong glance. Something drew you to him. Something about him just…

“That will be all.” He said brusquely. Your breath hitched and you nodded, rushing out of his office before he yelled at you. Your pulse stuttered. He’d talked to you. Actually talked to you. Your cheeks were so red you thought your head might pop.

It wasn’t long before your thoughts got you so carried away that you walked right into someone, sending her clipboard flying. “Christ! Who the hell do you think you are?” Dr. Emily Pope glowered at you as you knelt down and picked up her clipboard for her.

“S-Sorry, Dr. Pope. I’m new h-”

“I don’t care. Watch where you’re going.” She snapped, rolling her eyes and continuing to Dr. Darling’s office. You heard him greet her warmly as she opened the door. Painful infatuation tugged at your chest as you trudged back down the stairs to check the next task on the board. 

There was a stack of mail to deliver to Dr. Darling.

Your heart surged at the idea of seeing him and you scooped it up eagerly, wheeling around without a second thought. You nearly ran into an exec in a suit and stopped yourself with a jerk, sending the papers flying. 

“Jeez, can’t you do anything right?”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, gathering up the spilled stack of papers from the linoleum floor. He towered over you, hands crossed, stony features not betraying the slightest hint of kindness. You are a worm through time.

“I don’t care who you are, when you work here, you do your job properly. With no mistakes. Is that clear?”

His teeth, stained an unattractive yellow, protruded from his curled lip. The thunder song distorts you. They were just begging for a good punch. You swallowed the urge like a stone, standing back up and straightening your pencil skirt with a free hand. “Crystal clear, sir.”

“Good.” He gave you one more surly up-down before stalking off, mug in hand, to join forces with the rest of the executive suits at their hive of desks. Happiness comes. It was no wonder everyone on the executive floor was so crabby- you’d be crabby too if you had to stay chained in your cubicle and do paperwork all day. White pearls, but yellow and red in the eye. And the only place to take out one’s anger was on the poor, new intern. 

Bundling up your remaining armload of mail, you made your way to the Head of Research’s office. Last stop of the day, and always your favorite. Through a mirror, inverted is made right. Two staccato raps on the door were answered with a gruff, “Come in.”

You pushed it open, balancing the mail on your arm, and felt your stomach do somersaults. Dr. Casper Darling sat behind his desk, scribbling something onto a notary pad. “I brought your mail, Dr. Darling.” Leave your insides by the door.

“Mhm. Set it over there.” He didn’t even look at you, just gestured with his pen to the wire basket on the left side of his workstation. Push the fingers through the surface into the wet. You dutifully set it down, giving him a sidelong glance. Something drew you to him. You’ve always been the new you. Something about him just… 

“That will be all.” He said brusquely. You want this to be true. Your breath hitched and you nodded, rushing out of his office before he yelled at you. Your pulse stuttered. We stand around you while you dream. He’d talked to you. You can almost hear our words but you forget. Actually talked to you. 

As you walked down the stairs to check the notary board again, something caught your eye.

One of the offices along the corridor had an open door, leading to a darkened room. You poked your head in, curiosity overwhelming you.

This happens more and more now.

The lightbulb socket in the center of the room had… strange protrusions coming out of it. Feet. Legs. Grotesquely twisted, forced inside of the socket as if sucked in through immense force. A pink house slipper dangled from the left foot.

Your head throbbed unevenly and you winced, pressing your palm to your forehead. No, you had things to do… you had to take something to Dr. Darling…

“Oh, Nappula. I am so sorry.”

You blinked several times and looked back up. The lightbulb socket was just a lightbulb socket. Underneath it, a tired-looking floor janitor was slowly mopping the floor. “The lights, they always go out,  _ perkele. _ The strongest bulb, the longest glow, they always go out…”

He looked up at you slowly, his joints creaking. “Why do they always go out?”

“I don’t…” you winced again, your head throbbing. “I have things I need to do. Dr. Darling, he needs me to-”

“Yes, yes, deliver mail all day, keep the bulb glowing.” He leaned heavily against his mop, looking you in the eye.  _ “Think,  _ Nappula. Are you lost?”

“Of course I’m not-” you said. Behind you, a particularly shrill giggle came from Dr. Darling’s office. Your stomach sank. “I need to do my job. I’m new here.”

“I remember when you were just,” he gestured with his hand, a few feet off the ground,  _ “this _ big, and you would never be so low as to deliver mail,  _ perkele.” _

“I don’t know you,” you said weakly, “I’ve never been here before. At least I don’t think I-”

Abruptly, you felt a wave of blood-red across your vision. You broke away, continuing to get Dr. Darling’s mail. He was waiting, and you didn’t want to disappoint you. Maybe if you did a good job, he would take an interest… learn your name… at least give you a direct look in the eyes. But as your heartbeat fluttered at the image of his face, you felt a dim flare of a different emotion behind your infatuation. 

Desperation.

‘I don’t want this,’ you thought, avoiding a surly-looking exec and gripping the stack of mail firmly as you walked up the stairs to Dr. Darling’s office. ‘I want to go home… I want this to be over…’

But you didn’t know where home was. Your internship was permanent. The Head of Research had made sure of that.

You made your way to the Head of Research’s office. Last stop of the day, and always your favorite. Two staccato raps on the door were answered with a gruff, “Come in.”

You pushed it open, balancing the mail on your arm, and felt your stomach do somersaults. Dr. Casper Darling sat behind his desk, scribbling something onto a notary pad. “I brought your mail, Dr. Darling.”

“Mhm. Set it over there.” He didn’t even look at you, just gestured with his pen to the wire basket on the left side of his workstation. You dutifully set it down, giving him a sidelong glance. Something drew you to him. Something about him just…

Wait.

“Casper,” you said suddenly, “it’s  _ me.” _

“You will address me as Dr. Darling. Or do I need to have you written up for this?” He didn’t look at you, just kept his attention on his paperwork. Behind him, you saw legs dangling from the electrical socket. Twisted. Agonized. Crimson pulse.

Your vision faltered again, and when it came back, you were standing in front of Dr. Darling’s door. This was all wrong. Why was it wrong? 

The janitor was standing beside the balcony, slowly cleaning one of the railings with a rag. “You must think, back to last winter’s snow. The program. You did have talent,  _ perkele,  _ but why hide it?” He pronounced each word carefully, his thick Finnish accent scratching your brain. Something about it was immensely comforting.

Clutching the stack of mail to your chest, you approached him. “I don’t know what you mean…” And yet, memories came to you through the reddish fog. You remembered yourself as a child in the Prime Candidate program, always quiet, always looking for a way out. Never demonstrating your abilities for the people with clipboards in the white coats. There was a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

“I watched your father. He waited as if waiting for the rising moon, he  _ knew _ , Nappula, that there was something special about you.” His movements slowed and he regarded you with calm, dark eyes. Behind them swelled tempests. “Take control of yourself. Be honest with yourself.”

Yes. The Prime Candidate program. The way you would only focus your paranatural abilities when no one was watching, how they’d dimmed over years of disuse, like an atrophying muscle.

Another sickening throb made you wince, wheeling away from the janitor and into Dr. Darling’s office. He sat at his desk. He didn’t acknowledge you.

“Casper.” You said quietly.

“Address me as Dr. Darling.” He responded calmly, turning a page of his notebook.

Fury gripped your chest, white-hot and unwilling to be ignored. You slammed your hands on his desk.  _ “LOOK AT ME!” _

His head snapped up, and the moment your eyes met, you felt a tug in your chest. Something  _ grounded _ you. “You know me, Casper Darling, god dammit,  _ stop fucking with my head.” _

‘My head. It’s all in my head.’

He stood up, propping his hands on his desk, mirroring your stance. “Why did you lie, Dr. Ash?”

“What are you talking about?” Whispers were tugging at your skull. Inside your head.

“Why did you lie about being a parautilitarian? You could have done so much with your abilities if you’d only stopped being afraid. Was it your mother? The AWE?”

“Because… because…” Your head jerked to the side, the vertebrae in your neck loosening with an audible crack. “Because I didn’t…”

“What didn’t you tell Northmoor? Trench?  _ Your own father?” _

“I want this to stop, Casper.”

His voice sounded like it was  _ inside _ your head. You couldn’t escape it.  _ “Why did you lie to yourself?” _

_ “BECAUSE I NEVER WANTED TO BE THE DIRECTOR!”  _ You screamed in his face. Red and black pooled across your eye in a clotting film, making you cry out. The noise surged.

Everything changed.

Two staccato raps on the door were answered with a gruff, “Come in.”

You pushed it open, balancing the mail on your arm. Dr. Casper Darling sat behind his desk, scribbling something onto a notary pad. “I brought your mail, Dr. Darling.”

“Mhm. Set it over there.” He didn’t even look at you, just gestured with his pen to the wire basket on the left side of his workstation. 

You stood there.

Red and black. Pulsing. Pain. Voices.

“Well?” Casper said expectantly. You let the mail fall to the floor.

“This isn’t real.” You said hollowly. “This is in my head. I… control myself. Not the Hiss.”

He looked up from his paperwork and smiled.

“There’s my girl.”

~*~

Jesse caught you before your head hit the concrete floor. You blinked, dazed, unable to make sense of what was happening. Your throat was on fire. Your head was about to explode. The old, familiar feeling of escaping the Hiss left you battered and exhausted, and you blindly fumbled for the HRA on your chest.

Nice and secure.

Jesse’s voice was faint. “Dr. Ash? Can you hear me? It’s okay, you’re back now. I’ve got you.”

You rubbed at your eyes and looked up at her. You were still in Casper’s research lab. Emily Pope stood behind Jesse, hands clasped, worry creasing her brow. The far-off glow of Hedron was gone. Through the shattered windows you could see the crumbled, smoldering remains of its once-grand presence. Your head throbbed. “The Hiss…”

“The HRAs failed,” Jesse explained softly, checking you for any lasting damage. “I got things back in order, but that must have been pretty nasty.”

As your memories came back to you, a whole different kind of agony pummeled your chest and took your breath. You had to gasp, clutching at Jesse’s jacket. “Casper… Casper’s gone… Hedron is…”

She made a small noise in the back of her throat that may have been pity. “Hedron is gone, yes. We... haven’t located Dr. Darling yet.”

Your wide eyes searched her face. You felt hollowed- empty, like someone had taken a knife and dug out every essence of your being. “He was  _ inside,”  _ you let out a broken whimper, fresh tears pushing their way out of your bruised eyes. “Don’t you understand? Casper he… died with Hedron…” Your head spun and you gasped again, muted air coming out in gusts. 

Jesse looked to Emily for help, obviously unsure of how to proceed. The blonde knelt down, addressing you directly. “Dr. Ash, that… isn’t entirely true.”

You stared at her wordlessly. The most miniscule fragment of hope surged in your chest. You didn’t want to trust it, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Jesse nodded. “He contacted me through the Hotline with a message... for you.”

“Through the Hotline…” you murmured to yourself, trying to make sense of it. Only the Board communicated through the Hotline. How on earth would Casper have managed to tap into it? Jesse helped you to your feet and you winced, one hand clutching your head. “Jesse…” you said, gripping onto her shoulder for support.

“Take me to the Hotline.”

~*~

The Director’s office was exactly as you remembered it, save for a bloodstain on the carpet to the left of the intimidating desk.

“Is that…”

“Yes.” Jesse responded softly from her spot by the door. “I’m sorry.”

So it was true. Zachariah really was dead. You placed a hand on the back of his old chair and sighed. “So Casper was right about him being corrupted?”

“I think he was one of the first. He unleashed the Hiss through the Slide Projector, I… I’m sorry I blamed Dr. Darling initially.” Jesse gnawed at her lower lip, avoiding your eyes. “Emily tells me you two are close.”

The faintest ghost of a smile crossed your tired face. “You could say that.”

Redirecting your attention to the desk, you looked over all the things Trench had left: the picture of his wife and daughter, an old photograph of himself and Casper, his ashtray, unread mail in the wire basket. Everything left perfect, pristine. And to the right of the desk, the familiar, bright red phone. Your fingers idly traced the glossy plastic. 

Energy thrummed through your fingers and into your core. You’d never actually gotten to touch it with your bare hands. “What did Casper say to you?”

The Director crossed her arms. “He told me I needed to go to his office, that he could take me to the source of the Hiss. I would have succumbed to it completely if he hadn’t helped me out.” Her face twitched. “The last thing he said, though… That he had a message for Dr. Ash, waiting in the Oceanview Motel. He said you would know which room to check.”

Despite yourself, you smiled, hand resting gently on the phone. “Thank you for telling me, Jesse.”

“Thank you for not insisting on calling me ‘Madam Director’.” She retorted, pushing off the wall and turning to the door. “I’ll… give you a minute in here. I’m sure you need some time.” The gesture touched you deeply. She really was quite considerate.

“Thank you,” you responded tiredly. Jesse gave you a nod and walked out of the office, closing the door quietly behind her.

Silence was unusual, after the onslaught of the Hiss. But it wasn’t entirely unwelcome. You’d had enough noise to last you a lifetime. Lacking any sense of decorum, you sighed heavily and sat down in the Director’s chair. 

‘So… this is how it feels.’

Ahti’s words echoed in your head as you gazed at the Hotline.  _ “Take control of yourself. Be honest with yourself.”  _ He’d had a point- it had been a long time since you had been honest with anyone, especially yourself. Had you only been willing to acknowledge your paranatural abilities, you could have taken over for Zachariah. He never would have rotted away in the Bureau, lost everything, let the Hiss eat away at his brain until he was a shell of his former self. 

You closed your eyes and pictured him when you were younger- gruff and stern, but with a soft side few people had known. Even something as inane as looking after you while your father was busy wasn’t above him. He cared about you- about the whole Bureau- and you wanted to remember him that way, instead of the corrupted monster he eventually became.

When you opened your eyes again, you noticed a familiar sight to the left of the desk that you hadn’t noticed before. Jesse had left the Service Weapon.

You picked it up, cautiously, feeling the weight in your hand. It was humming, and it felt warm- almost alive. 

Casper had, somehow, in his exposure to Hedron, forged a connection with the Board. Wherever he was, the only clue remaining was in the Oceanview. But if the Board had finally acknowledged him as a worthy candidate…

Taking a deep breath, sparing a thought for Zachariah, you closed your eyes and pressed the barrel of the Service Weapon to your temple.

Nothing happened.

You felt it vibrate in your hand, energy surging through it in pulses, but it never fired. Lowering it back onto the desk, you felt a curious sense of satisfaction. Your entire life, you had avoided the truth- about your nature, your bloodline, your abilities. You had chosen to follow a path that many would deem ignorant, and in it, had sought peace. But only that.

It had taken meeting Casper Darling and staring death in the face for you to finally acknowledge who you were. You were the daughter of Theodore Ash, Head of Research for the Federal Bureau of Control, and the Board had never given up on you.

You’d finally taken control. All that was left was to move forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more left! One more left!


	14. ADRAs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the last chapter! Before I get into it, let me say THANK YOU SO MUCH to those of you who have kudos'ed and commented on this work. This is really nothing more than a self-indulgent thing on my part because I love Casper Darling and figured a small fandom like ours could use a little more science husband appreciation. Anyway, I'll proceed with the final installment of Something Wonderful!

The rhythmic beeping of Dylan Faden’s heart monitor was barely perceptible through the glass walls of his containment cell. You stood with a hand pressed gently against the glass, the other in the pocket of your lab coat. “Is he going to be okay?”

“Well,” Jesse said softly, “there’s a long road ahead. But I think he’s going to recover.” She stood beside you, her expression morose. She’d seemed surprised when you asked to see Dylan.

Watching him sleep, his chest rising and falling with each breath, made your heart wrench. For so long, you’d been afraid of him- but now, you saw him for what he truly was. Just a kid who was robbed of everything for the sake of research. You had almost suffered that fate yourself. There was never any reason for you to be afraid.

“I’m so sorry, Jesse.” You said softly, looking over at her. She looked exhausted in the clinical light. Her eyes sought yours and she gave you a comforting smile. “It’s okay. I’m really just happy we’re together again. He’s alive. That’s all that matters.”

You looked back at Dylan, at his peaceful expression. It felt strange, to be in the same room as the Faden siblings. The three of you had nearly been eaten alive by the Bureau and made it out to the other side- not whole, but alive. Jesse cleared her throat.

“I took the liberty of checking your files, Dr. Ash.”

Had she read your mind? “What did you find out?”

“A  _ lot _ of it was redacted, but it gave me a pretty good idea of who you were before you joined Dimensional Research. I’m just… sorry I didn’t know sooner. What you’d been through.”

“That makes two of us.” You met her gaze again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for your brother. I was a fucking coward for so many years. It took me until now to realize it. He could have used a friend.”

Jesse smiled again, her voice taking on a wistful tone. “He would have liked you a lot.”

You smiled back, your eyes never leaving hers. “Jesse, I… I also want to apologize on behalf of Dr. Darling. I don’t think he and Dylan will ever see each other again, but when he wakes up… will you tell him that Casper said he was sorry?”

She looked back at her brother, raising a hand to touch the glass. “Dylan was always the forgiving type when we were kids. I think he would just be happy to know that someone cared about him, in the end.” Something glimmered in her eyes that could have been tears. “I’ll tell him.”

You stood in silence after that, just watching Dylan sleep. His heart monitor was the only sound.

~*~

“Are you  _ sure _ you don’t need anyone to go with you?” Emily asked, gripping her clipboard nervously. “There are still Hiss agents out there, I’m worried about you.”

“You think I can’t fight?” You responded playfully over your mug of coffee. It warmed you to the bone, the caffeine a welcome wake-up call for your tired nerves. The Head of Research tittered, pursing her lips as she said your name sternly.

“I’m just worried about you. We don’t even know if any of the cords to the Oceanview still work- and if you were to get trapped out there-”

“Then I’ll judo-kick those Cronenberg-looking bastards in the face and tell them to call my lawyer.” You leaned your elbows against the briefing table, grinning at her as she rolled her eyes. Jesse, seated at the head of the table, stifled a laugh.

You drained the last of your coffee and stood up, cracking the stiff vertebrae in your neck. “I don’t want the new Head of Research fretting on her first day, after all.” Emily gave you an unimpressed look, fiddling with her clipboard. You looked over at Jesse, hands in your pockets. “How about it, boss? Think it’s safe for me to head out there?”

“Just be careful.” The Director responded. “I’ve cleared a majority of the Executive Sector, but the Hiss agents are unpredictable. If you run into any problems, just page me from one of the shelters and I’ll come take care of it.” She stood and gave your hand a brisk shake. “Tell Casper I said hello.”

You managed a smile. Deep down, she knew as well as you did that you probably weren’t going to find him, but it was still a sweet gesture. Emily stood up as well, pushing past Jesse and wrapping you up in a tight hug.

It was shockingly uncharacteristic, so much so that you froze, but then you felt yourself wrapping your arms around her and hugging her back. “You’re the best Head of Research this dump is ever going to have,” you murmured. Emily nodded shakily, letting you go and adjusting her HRA.

“Send Dr. Darling my best.” She said softly, moving closer to Jesse. A bittersweet ache tugged at your chest. You nodded and went for the door- pausing, for a moment, to look over your shoulder and give them one last smile.

They wouldn’t let you down.

~*~

The Oceanview was the same as it had always been.

The moment you gave the light cord a third tug and felt the brake slam in your gut, you felt infinitely more at ease. It was a welcome respite from the harsh new Bureau. Familiar and comforting. You walked down the dim hallway and into the lobby, gaze on the sun-dappled carpet. It was like the place had been waiting for you.

You pulled a cigarette from your coat pocket and lit it, inhaling deeply. Your exhausted brain almost weeped with relief.

There was music playing on the radio behind the front desk. Some kind of oldies station- lots of crooning. It added another layer onto the rich aesthetic of the motel. You breathed in the smells of fir trees, dust, and old cedar. It smelled like home.

There was no hurry. You sat in the lobby for a while, listening to the radio, letting smoke trail from your nostrils. 

You didn’t feel… anything, really. You were just so exhausted, physically and mentally. It felt as if every inch of you had been beaten down. You had nothing left.

Which, in and of itself, was oddly freeing.

You tapped the last of the ash off your cigarette and ground it into one of the ashtrays. Standing up with a painful grunt, you walked the few paces to the front desk and tapped the bell. The sound echoed through the building with a lasting reverb.

The door opened with a gentle creak. Absurdly, you smiled, tucking your hands into the pockets of your lab coat and strolling into the room.

It was dimmer than usual- you realized the curtains were closed. There was a projector set up to the left of the bed, pointed at a white screen hung up on the far wall. Aside from that, the room looked pretty much untouched after the last time you and Casper had been here. You idly wondered if his scent still clung to the threadbare sheets.

Clicking the lights off and sitting down on the edge of the bed, you watched as it shuddered to life with a rapidly-increasing fluttering noise. The screen lit up. A few out-of-focus flashes flickered across the screen, the film yellowed with age. 

And then the reel connected, and Casper’s focused face filled the screen as he adjusted with the camera.

The old, familiar ache hit you like a train. Your throat was closing up before you had time to breathe.

When he seemed satisfied with the setup, he stepped back and smiled with a coy little wave at the camera.  _ “Hey, Button. You’re asleep right now- uh, I’m recording this to show it to you for posterity. Either that or, I’m dead, and you’re expecting me to read you my will.”  _ He gave a guilty little shrug.  _ “If that’s the case, I hope you like coffee mugs, because that’s all you’re getting.” _

It felt like someone had reached inside of your chest and squeezed your heart into pulp. Something came out of you that was half laughter, half sobbing. You put your hand over your mouth.

_ “I needed to tell you that I... figured it out. It all makes sense to me now. Hedron, the resonance, what I’ve been studying all these years…”  _ His face was practically glowing with pride as he gestured with his hands.  _ “Hedron will keep us safe. From what, I- I’m not sure.”  _ He leaned back against his desk, smile on his lips.  _ “But I know that we did some incredible things with it.  _ You  _ did some incredible things.” _

You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand. “Idiot…”

_ “Now, I know what you’re thinking.”  _ Casper leaned close to the camera, his expression scrunching into that playful smile you’d seen so many times.  _ “You’re going to say I’m giving you all the credit. And that’s objectively not true. I’m just giving you a majority of the credit.”  _ He leaned back, taking a sip of coffee from the mug on his desk.  _ “A solid eighty/twenty. The Ash/Darling Method.”  _ His eyes lit up.  _ “Hey, we should patent that.” _

He set his mug down.  _ “A-Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself... the point I’m trying to make is that you saved the Bureau. Maybe even more. If you hadn’t developed those HRAs…”  _ His hands splayed wide and he shook his head in happy disbelief. _ “I don’t want to imagine what could have happened. And I don’t have to.” _ His smile softened into something much more genuine, his deep brown eyes glimmering with admiration.  _ “All I want to say is that… I am so, so proud of you. And I want to tell you that firsthand.” _

He looked over his shoulder, presumably at the cot where you were sleeping off-camera, and then leaned in closer.  _ “Speaking of that Ash/Darling Method… we can probably just call it the Darling method pretty soon.”  _ He reached into the front pocket of his lab coat and pulled out a small ring, shining like obsidian.  _ “If you’re watching this, I’ve probably already given it to you. Pure Black Rock. I figured something that was practically indestructible would be nicer than gold.”  _ He tucked it back into his pocket and looked back at the camera- at you. Your name was soft on his lips.

_ “Anyway. You may never see this. I’m not putting it with any of the official FBC recordings. I’ll show it to you when it feels right.”  _ A noise must have come from off-screen, because he looked over his shoulder with a panicked little grimace.  _ “Oop- it looks like you’re waking up. I’ll talk to future-you later.”  _ His expression softened as he gave the camera one last affectionate glance. 

_ “I love you.” _

His face flickered out of view and was replaced by a black screen. The projector ground to a halt before shutting itself off with a jolt.

You didn’t realize how hard you were crying until the room was silent, and by then it was a full-on torrent. You leaned forward, propped your elbows on your knees, and just let it all out. Your grief, your frustration, your anger. It felt as if you were crumbling, seeping into the carpet of the Oceanview, dissolved into anguish. It had been easy to let yourself imagine that, somehow, you would see him again. That the message he was leaving you would lead to him, somehow. The fucking idiot. The goddamn hopeless  _ fucking _ idiot.

The Hiss was better than this. At least you could still talk to him there.

You cradled yourself and rocked slowly, sobbing until your body ached and your tear ducts were completely spent. Everything was gone. Your job. Your home in the Bureau. The love of your life. The people who cared about you. Fear gripped your heart in its icy fingers and squeezed until your vision was spotty. 

You stayed in that position for a long, long time. Just cradling yourself, trying to dredge up some kind of emotion other than the grief or the fear. When the echoes of your cries no longer filled the room, you sat up slowly. You hurt. No- hurt wasn’t the word for it. You were as close to death as a person could get. You were wrung out and left on the floor. You were empty.

There was nothing left.

You stood slowly and swayed in place, unsure of what to do. An idle voice in the back of your head told you to sit back down, to lay in the motel’s bed and stay until you faded away into the Bureau itself. The last victim of the Hiss.

But that sounded like giving up, and if there was one thing Dr. Ash never did, it was giving up.

You turned to go for the door, intent on leaving the Oceanview and never seeing it again. An errant ray of sunlight made its way through a crack in the curtains and reflected against something to your right. You hesitated, the glimmer catching your eye. 

The room’s small desk wasn’t empty like it usually was. 

You blinked, just once, before reaching over and flipping on the desk’s dim lamp.

A key. At first you thought it was just another one of the motel’s room keys, but as you picked it up and turned it in your hand, you saw two words engraved into the aging brass that made your heart stutter and your pulse start quickening again.

“Main Entrance”

You clenched it in your fist, thoughts racing, tripping over themselves. It wasn’t possible- there  _ was _ no way to leave the Oceanview. You had no idea what was out there- it was a Place of Power that connected dimensions. For all you knew, it could just be void.

Or maybe it could be something else.

You barely registered the small piece of paper beside the key until you looked again- a postcard, emblazoned with a faded painting of a cozy-looking cabin alongside a lovely lake at sunset. You recognized the painting- it had been hanging in Ahti’s office ever since you were a child. 

_ “The best vacation spot, Nappula.”  _ He would always tell you, as you spun in his chair and nibbled on hard candies he’d given you.  _ “One day, I hope you can go there- beauty as far as the eye can see.” _

_ “Can I go now, Ahti?”  _ You would ask, and he would just shake his head and ruffle your hair.

_ “Not yet. Someday, but I hope it doesn’t have to be for many years.” _

You flipped over the postcard, and somehow felt fresh tears at the corners of your dry eyes. In Ahti’s messy script, it read: 

_ You might need this _

“Thank you, Ahti.” You said quietly, tucking the postcard into your pocket and clutching the key so hard it left impressions in your palm. You spared the room one last glance, watching dust motes float in the sunlight, and walked out into the hallway.

The front door’s windows sent shafts of light across the lobby. Music still came softly through the radio, in a slow, mournful country waltz. You looked down the opposite corridor and thought for several long moments.

_ ‘You could put the key in your pocket and go back to the Bureau. There will always be a place for you there- it’s been your home for your whole life.’ _ And yet, the more you thought about it, you realized that the Bureau was going through a metamorphosis. It was changing into something new, protected against different threats, leaving behind the need for auditory research of your caliber. It didn’t need you anymore.

You spared a thought for Zachariah, whose desire for control sent him over the edge into madness. You thought of Dylan Faden, whose corruption at the hands of the Bureau could hopefully one day be healed by his sister. You thought of Emily Pope, and the challenges she would face as the new Head of Research, and picking up the pieces that you had so catastrophically let scatter across the Bureau. You thought of Jesse Faden, and all the responsibilities she would face that you had so gracefully eschewed. 

But, more than anyone else, you thought of Casper Darling, and how lonely he would be without you… wherever he was.

You clutched the small brass key close to your chest, closed your eyes, and made your decision.

You knew where you belonged.

~*~

They talked about Dr. Ash for a long time at the Bureau after she disappeared. Emily had been convinced of her succumbing to the Hiss, no matter how many times Jesse assured her that could never happen. She had only met the woman once, she always said, and yet she knew how strong she was. Dr. Ash would never give in that easy.

It was eventually chalked up to another mystery of the Bureau. Some tears were shed, a memorial portrait was hung up alongside Casper Darling’s, and that was it. 

Life went on.

Several months later, the Hiss agents had shown no signs of lessening their assault on the Oldest House. Jesse was at her wits’ end. Constant communication with the Board and effort on behalf of every sector had barely done anything. It was like a disease that couldn’t be cured. She paced the floor of her office, brow furrowed, thoughts running wild.

These thoughts were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the Hotline.

Jesse groaned internally, going to her desk and hoisting up the receiver. Probably another call from the Board, trying to think of a new solution. She pressed the phone to her ear.

_ “I have a message for the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control.” _

She went rigid, nearly dropping the phone.

_ “My name is Dr. Ash. I need to inform the Director that there is a new way to combat the alternate resonance. Go to my office in the Research Sector. You’ll know it when you find it. Do you understand?” _

“Y-Yes!” Jesse stammered, slamming the phone into its receiver and grabbing her Service Weapon. Her pulse roared in her ears as she burst into the briefing room. Emily jumped, looking up from her paperwork.

“Jesse? Is everything okay?”

“No time,” The Director stammered unevenly, “Come with me. I need to find Dr. Ash’s office.”

~*~

“Are you absolutely  _ sure _ it was her voice you heard on the Hotline?”

_ “Yes,  _ I’m sure. It was unmistakable.” Jesse dug through her pockets for the ring of keys she’d gotten from Ahti. “She said we had to check her office for something that would combat the Hiss. I don’t know what it is we’re looking for, though- ah.” Locating the Research Sector skeleton key, Jesse pushed it into the lock of the closed door and turned it with a satisfying  _ click. _

Emily’s nose wrinkled the moment they set foot inside. “Smells like a roadhouse. You’d think the smoke would have aired out by now.” The office was completely dark save for the desk lamp, still burning away. Empty mugs and half-finished equations scribbled on post-it notes littered almost every available surface. Jesse dimly realized, as she clicked the overhead lights on, that Dr. Ash’s office bore a striking resemblance to Dr. Darling’s. Birds of a feather.

The pair began rooting through stacks of documents, shelves of files, and haphazardly-teetering piles of circuitry. The Director had no idea what it was she was looking for, but remembered Dr. Ash’s words.  _ You’ll know it when you find it. _

“What I don’t understand,” Emily said as she blew dust off of a thick three-ring binder and began perusing its contents, “Is how on earth Dr. Ash could have contacted you through the Hotline. It’s not like she was the Director.”

Jesse hummed thoughtfully as she dug through a pile of manila folders. “Well, you remember that Darling was able to use the Hotline to get to me.”

“Which has also never sat right with me.” The blonde pursed her lips. “That would insinuate that neither of them were really  _ dead…  _ but maybe, if they’d gotten to the Astral Plane someh-”

Her words were interrupted by a familiar, mechanical whirring noise. The projector in the corner of the room had seemingly turned on by itself, shuddering to life in a puff of dust. Jesse paused, narrowing her eyes. “Now why would-”

The film on the screen stuttered to life, the familiar three-note FBC opening giving way to reveal Ash and Darling’s research lab in Dimensional Resonance. Dr. Darling was adjusting his bowtie, squinting at the camera.  _ “I think it’s running.” _

_ “Okay, okay. Hang on.”  _ Dr. Ash’s voice came from offscreen, and then she walked into the frame, straightening the lapels of her lab coat and smoothing back her hair. She took her place beside her colleague, shuffling sideways a little bit until she was a respectable distance from the shifting focus of the camera. Taking a deep breath, she began addressing it as if she were lecturing a student.  _ “The nature of HRAs is tepid and often misunderstood. As my colleague Dr. Darling and I have designed, their purpose is to project Hedronic resonance as a… kind of a shield against other forms of multidimensional, resonant-based life forms.” _

Darling mirrored her animated mannerisms, fidgeting with his glasses as he continued for her.  _ “The original HRA design is just that- a shield, or… or a life preserver. A simple, yet effective defense against these alternate forces. However, we soon realized that our HRA model was lacking in effectiveness- that it could, in fact, be improved upon. Er-”  _ He stepped back to reveal a whiteboard behind them, covered with a complicated-looking schematic.  _ “Would you like to explain, my dear?” _

Dr. Ash rolled her eyes at his pet name and picked up a ruler, highlighting the necessary parts of the diagram.  _ “We’ve put together a rudimentary outline of a second HRA, designed to be more effective in its defense than the first. Rather than harnessing the energy from Hedron, this model utilizes the alternate resonance instead, mirroring its frequencies and…”  _ She gestured vaguely, pulling her hands in towards her chest and then pushing them back out, fingers splayed.  _ “Echoing them back to the infected host, reversing the effects. Not only will these protect the wearer from an alternate form of resonance, but they can also eradicate any traces of the resonance from a radius of nearly thirty feet.” _

Darling beamed beside her, raising an eyebrow as he folded his hands behind his back.  _ “Now, it’s still in the early stages, and will take many more trials to complete. We plan to begin testing sometime in the next several weeks, provided the…uh, Bureau will be willing to fund it. I even already have a candidate in mind to spearhead the research team.”  _ He leaned forward, looking knowingly into the camera.  _ “Looking at you, Emily!” _

_ “Naturally,”  _ Ash interjected,  _ “because we’ve chosen a different frequency to use, it wouldn’t be fitting to refer to these as ‘HRAs’, so Cas- er, Dr. Darling and I have coined a new name for this model.”  _ She picked up a marker and scribbled four letters hastily above the drawings on the whiteboard: ADRA.

_ “ADRAs.”  _ She pronounced each letter individually.  _ “The Ash-Darling Resonance Amplifiers.” _

_ “Putting her name first was my idea.”  _ Dr. Darling said proudly. Dr. Ash smirked, and even through the grainy film, Jesse could see her stepping closer to him and taking his hand.

_ “We hope that this new model can be of great use to the FBC,”  _ The woman said confidently,  _ “And, personally, I would like to thank the rest of the Research Sector for supporting our endeavors. This has been Dr. Ash-” _

_ “And Dr. Darling!” _

_ “- thank you for watching.” _

They stood smiling into the camera for a second, and in the last few shuddery frames before the FBC logo interrupted the video feed, they exchanged a brief, loving kiss. 

Then the video cut out entirely.

Jesse and Emily stood frozen to their spots. The stunned silence stretched almost to the breaking point before The Director spoke. “Did… you know they were..?”

“No idea.” Emily said faintly, stepping back to support herself against the desk with a shaky hand. “But, Jesse, do you know what this means? They- with the ADRA schematics, we could actually make this work! We could eradicate the Hiss and lift the lockdown for good!” Her shocked expression grew into a wide smile. “We could start trials as soon as tomorrow to get it finalized!”

It was still sinking in for Jesse, but the slow realization made her jaw go slack and her eyes widen. It was true. The light at the end of the tunnel, at last. She stood up straight, stammering, thoughts going by too fast to put into words. “The- The, uh, the research lab in Dimensional Resonance, the schematics must still be there!”

“Oh my god! They did it!” Emily threw her arms around Jesse’s shoulders in a celebratory hug. Jesse hugged her back tightly, hoisting her off the ground and spinning her in a circle while they both laughed. When she was set back down, Emily pulled back and cleared her throat, cheeks flushing bright red. 

“Um, that is- we should probably, uh, get going.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Jesse responded, the realization of what she’d just done making her turn as scarlet as her hair. “Right behind you.”

As the two left the office in a rush, Jesse paused at the door and took one last look at Dr. Ash’s office. It was impossible, but in that instant, she just… wished she could thank her properly. 

She just settled on an appreciative smile as she clicked the lights off. That seemed like enough. Sparing a thought for Dr. Ash and Dr. Darling, she closed the door and trailed along after Emily. There was a lot of work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. It may be a less-than-satisfactory ending, but it's fitting for the two best researchers in the Bureau to find happiness on some other plane of existence. ;)  
> Thank you again, and this won't be the last of the work I do with our dear Dr. Darling!  
> xoxo, P&B


End file.
